Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
Dear everyone,
I have been on a very intense spiritual journey for a little while now and have been turning to I ching (again after many years) for answers. I know they are somewhere inside me, I just haven't been listening hard enough. Though in the past I did not know of this community, I am forever grateful for the insights you have been sharing with each other as they have helped me understand the answers I seem to get for my questions in the last month. But there is one I REALLY can't wrap my head around.
Long story short, I have realised that I have been carrying a deep emotional pain around me my entire life related to my parents' attitude towards me. This, I have come to realise, has led me to belive that I am unlovable and has resulted in a number of emotionally unavailable relationships+trying to fix the broken birds around me for self-validation. That's another story though. The key lies in my relationship to my parents.
I asked -
What do I need to understand about my relationship to my mother? 8.3>39
This one I understand completely now and do not have any objections to. I have been clinging to her for advice and insight and caring and whatnot like mad. But this entire time (even before I was born), she hasn't really cared and given me (tough) love as of out of duty. I am on my way to forgiving her for that and realising that her choices have nothing to do with my value as a person. On the bright side, she taught me to be self-reliant (but at what cost, right?).
Then I asked -
What do I need to understand about my relationship to my father? 8.2.4.5.6>64
And this is where I completely lose track about what I am supposed to get out of this. For background information, my father is mentally deeply ill and was probably that way before I was even born. Until I was 11 I worshipped the ground he walked on (of course when the mother didn't give me the attention I so wanted), but then I realised what an emotionally manipulating, self-absorbed man he really was and that he only took me for a nice accessory to be discarded at his pleasing. It was never about me. It was always about him, everybody else in his world were irrelevant. Maybe I am already explaining what this casting is telling me, but I am really struggling with connecting the dots.
Your insight into what I am unable to see right now is so very much appreciated. I am done carrying around this useless emotional baggage that should have had no place in my life to being with. But we live to learn, so let's learn some more.
In the two castings you have every line in 8 except 1, which stands out by its absence:
Wilhelm:
Six at the beginning means:
Hold to him in truth and loyalty;
This is without blame.
Truth, like a full earthen bowl:
Thus in the end
Good fortune comes from without.
Bradford:
Be true in joining with them
Make no mistake:
Being true more than fill this plain clay vessel
The end will come to hold even more promise
Hilary:
‘With truth and confidence, seeking union,
No mistake.
With truth and confidence to overflow the vessel
An end comes – further good fortune.’
Legge:
The first SIX, divided, shows its subject seeking by his sincerity to win the attachment of his object. There will be no error. Let (the breast) be full of sincerity as an earthenware vessel is of its contents, and it will in the end bring other advantages.
I think you want a reconciliation with your parents (or their memory if deceased or remote). There is always some discord between parents and the child who is a distinct individual. All humans experience limitations. They parent as they learned to parent. If you think about the context of your parents' early lives, you may recognize the truth they could not see.
how should I understand "truth" and "sincerity" in this context?
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).