hexagram 40 > 1, relationship related

[sollina]

Hi everyone,

in short: I was in a relationship with this guy for ten months or so. He is getting divorced so it was a bit stressful at times but we were managing to overcome the difficulties. However, the things got tough last August so he said that he needed time on his own, that he doesn't want me to be in the middle of all that and that we should push the brakes for the time being.
Since then, we have seen each other many times but I have decided to leave any kind of initiative to him because i don't think there's a point in acting otherwise: if he can't handle a relationship at the moment, and if he was able to articulate it as well, my pushing can only be counterproductive.

Now, I still miss him a lot, I wish things would finally settle down and from time to time I have a dilemma whether I did the right thing back then.

To my question whether "we are going to get back together" i got hexagram 40 changing to 1.

I would appreciate any help with interpretation.

Thanks in advance.

 

[dobro p]

To my question whether "we are going to get back together" i got hexagram 40 changing to 1.

The obstacles are out of the way in a way that lets the lifeforce move through the situation unimpeded. It's a very positive situation in which the thing you're enquiring about could easily take place.

 

[sollina]

Hm... yes, I figured it would contain a "positive" message but... I'm more wondering if there could be signs that I might decide (or should decide) not to want "us coming back together" anymore... Because I feel tired of all the real and imaginary plots that I have witnessed between them and I see myself turning towards other people...

 

[rosada]

Thus the problem with asking "Yes or No?" questions.

40 speaks of forgiveness, the release of tension that happens when people are able to let bygones be bygones. If your friend is saying, "Whew, as soon as this is over i'm intending for us to get back together." I would say this hexagram does suggest a feeling of tension lifting and him speaking the truth, that he really does intend the two of you getting together. However, if nothing of the sort has been said and you continue to feel tension because you don't know or trust his intentions, then I think 40 could be suggesting you are at the point of saying "I release the past. No hard feelings. I'm ready for a new relationship."

So of course only you can know what this I Ching mirror is really showing you.

 

[Tohpol]

Hm... yes, I figured it would contain a "positive" message but... I'm more wondering if there could be signs that I might decide (or should decide) not to want "us coming back together" anymore... Because I feel tired of all the real and imaginary plots that I have witnessed between them and I see myself turning towards other people...

"If their could be signs that I might..." huh?

No need to look for signs - the above is how you feel right? Feeling tired of the whole thing and now turning towards other people...Doesn't sound like a very firm footing for a relationship to me. And you certainly seem less than enthusiastic.

40.1 could also refer to the "liberation" or "release from tension" you could now have. Quiet yourself and take advantage of time for contemplation and refrain from any action, then I'd ask another, more objective question.

Topal

 

[sollina]

Thank you Rosada and Topal.

I had thought about what you said:

Thus the problem with asking "Yes or No?" questions.

and today I formulated the question otherwise, asking what attitude should I take in order to be satisfied with the outcome.

And I got hexagram 22 changing to 32.

But in my current situation "Grace" and "Duration" seem like a complete contradiction. Unlesss it means that I should gracefully leave in order to keeo my sanity...

 

[mirian]

Hello Sollina,

This is just my view on your Hex 40 reading. I do not see you and your ex-boyfriend getting back together. I believe that the lines are saying that the relationship was more a hindrance than anything else in your life. You have released yourself from the entanglements. Now you should not hold any grudge; just relax and enjoy the life that lies ahead of you.

Hope it helps
Mirian

 

[rosada]

"What attitude to take in order to be satisfied with the outcome?"

Grace: A beautiful moment that may not last.
Duration: Something that lasts over time and and space.

Consider that no matter what you are creating here, whether you reunite or walk on, you will remember how this episode played out. Conduct yourself with decorum so ultimately you are able to say, "Thanks for the memories."

 

[patro]

hi,
it would be nice to know the outcome for this situation!
thank you

 

[butterfly spider]

A friend in almost the exact same situation asking the same type of question sought my advise and got this reading. I came here to find gems of wisdom and the above have really helped. Whilst there does not appear to be an update the responses have helped me clarify what to say to my friend Perhaps I can update with the outcome on this casting
40.1
Xx

 

[diamanda]

Butterfly spider, please note that the initial reading was not 40.1, but 40 > 1.
I.e., 40.1.3.5.6 > 1.