Hey evryone im new here, need help with something

[spider]

hey folks,
i was lucky enough to stumble across this site a while ago, and thought maybe you guys could help.
a while ago i became friends with a woman who i had an interest in. igot the impression that she was also interested, and the i ching(which ive only been using a couple of years) seemed to agree with me on this. however i have just discovered she has been seeing somebody, altho she indicated that she wasnt particularly happy with him. i asked the i ching two questions an i was wondering if someone here could help.

first i asked if it was likely she would break it off with him and I got hexagram 21 Shih Ho with a moving line in the second place, changing it to 38, K'uei.

secondly, i asked for advice on what i should do and got 29, K'an with moving lines 1 and 4, changing it to 58 Tui.

i just wanted someone elses opinion , just so i can be sure im looking at it the right way. any help you can give would be much appreciated. thanx!

 

[michael]

Spider,

The way I see it is this:

21, Biting through is about struggling with an issue because we misunderstand what's truly important in the situation. Line 2 reinforces this, telling us we have to look beyond what we can immediately see here, even if it means we go overboard and think the worst, that she'll never want to be with us! This will shatter our preconceptions and open us up to viewing things another way. Hexagram 38 indicates a mutual divergence, elements going their seperate ways. Does this mean she's going to break up with him? Maybe, but I don't think we can jump to that conclusion here - it could equally mean this woman is moving away from us, that there is no harmony, no resonance between us right now. Either way, the I Ching seems to be telling us that whether or not this woman breaks things off with this other guy, it isn't the right thing to be pinning our hopes on.

Then you asked the I Ching what you should do about it, and it responded with 29, The Abyss which describes being mired in a difficult situation and how to get out of it. Your escape is through line 4 which carries a curious echo of your earlier reading (21) and not being able to separate truth from delusion.

You have to take this deep inside of yourself, drop all your desires for this woman and your chances of gaining her favour. This will be hard because your heart is not still, and because you want her. If you can somehow forget all of this, all of your wanting and really search your heart, you might be able to fasten upon the one thing in this situation that will grant the insight you require. The suggestion is that you already possess such an insight, and that you can reliably follow your heart on it.

54 is interesting, the marrying woman. This shows we are in a subordinate position, not that we needed reminding of it! It repeats the message that wanting someone with all our heart won't bring us together, and goes on to suggest that it may be having the opposite effect. The woman is seeing another man, and we're on the outside of things, looking in. We can't hope to make her take any notice of us by overt means,... by nagging her, buying her flowers or stuff like that. We have no influence and our only hope is to keep ourselves small. If you're friends with this woman, remain freinds, but stop hoping for more because you have no power to change things. If things are right, and it's meant to be, she may come to you later on, but there's nothing to be gained by letting this situation get under your skin.

Sympathies

Michael