How does she feel about me now? Hex 19 unchanging

[squiggles]

This is somewhat of a continuation of my other thread, about a troubled long-distance relationship where I'm still having trouble letting go. I thought that we were making a great deal of progress, but it turns out that it still hurts her to talk to me. Because of that, I put the ball in her court, so to speak, recognizing that it might mean a long period of no contact.

To me, hex 19 says that giving her that power was the right thing to do, and she will be able to move forward with whatever is the best action for her. When misfortune hits in the "eighth month," I might even expect an approach from her, if I show her that respect.

I realize that the questions I've posted here aren't the best ones -- yes/no questions, and questions that may be "unanswerable," like another person's feelings -- but I do know how to construct good questions It's just that, in times like these, I fall back on old habits.

 

[innertruth]

Do you talk to her often? Who initiates contact usually?

 

[squiggles]

TBH, it's usually me... which is why I'm inclined to leave it and see what happens, especially because I want to avoid hurting her, like she said.

It's true that it's a very one-sided thing, at the moment. I believe she still cares, but has basically given up because of the obstacles involved/misunderstandings along the way. Anything I do now, I do with the knowledge that it could be a lost cause

I was going to marry her, and I still want to, so I'm hoping it's not out of the ordinary that I'm having trouble with this -- it's been this way since September or thereabouts.

Edit: I forgot to say, we usually talk between 1 and 3 times a week.

 

[innertruth]

Did you reunite with her? after a long break-up?

 

[squiggles]

As I say, we've been broken up since about the end of September. We were contemplating having me visit her in April for her birthday, but that's up in the air, now.

We've been trying to "just be friends," but I still want more... I know it's grim.

 

[innertruth]

Hm. Time will tell. Time heals as well.

 

[Fern_of_the_woods]

any update?

 

[squiggles]

any update?

We did visit in April, and it was an amazing experience, so I'm cautiously optimistic about the future of our relationship, even though we aren't "there" yet. I can't really provide more detail than that, however.

 

[Fern_of_the_woods]

very glad to read that! Keep being generous and patient

 

[squiggles]

Ultimately, it didn't work out. I was not being open about some issues that were affecting me related to childhood trauma — this was creating tension between us and also causing me to act inappropriately according to what was necessary at the time. I was so afraid she wouldn't understand that I avoided bringing it up at all costs, and that (among other things related to it) was my downfall.

 

[Rasalila]

I copied this from the cafe au soul website: The only warning Approach offers is when you are not being approachable. Perhaps you have cut yourself off from communication in some way? A high level of focus is placed on reaching out to someone. If that is not an option or contact isn’t reciprocated then the message of quickening suggests allowing events to unfold naturally, like seeds beneath the earth at Springtime. Perhaps a period of waiting for Approach has allowed you to cultivate talent or a type of ‘inexhaustible teaching’ that puts you at service to others. Your day will come. Just keep being patient, present and willing to do what you can to nurture others.

I hope this helps, I feel your pain, it's so hard to let go sometimes! In these moments all you can do is go inside yourself and find the light of love that's always burning there, regardless of what's happening externally.

 

[squiggles]

In a very strange turn of events, she's replied to an email I sent, and we had a brief interaction. Technically, the door is open for her to continue that interaction, but I'm being extra cautious about waiting for her to do so. In the past, I spoiled the fish with too much prodding.

 

[squiggles]

To me, hex 19 says that giving her that power was the right thing to do, and she will be able to move forward with whatever is the best action for her. When misfortune hits in the "eighth month," I might even expect an approach from her, if I show her that respect.

Apologies for the double post. It occurs to me that it might not be entirely incorrect to say that "misfortune in the eighth month" refers to Hurricane Irma, since part of our contact was related to that.

 

[Stevep]

Currently we are in the Eighth Month. Did she contact you during this period?

 

[squiggles]

Currently we are in the Eighth Month. Did she contact you during this period?

Yes, she did (on the 15th, after I emailed her on the 7th).

 

[squiggles]

I just got some closure regarding this. Turns out that I emailed her on the day that she moved into a new apartment with her boyfriend, which is why she was intrigued enough to respond to me.

It was a decent ending to a very long ride.

 

[Stevep]

Sorry to hear that.It must be hard to hear the news from her.But stay positive.