Love affairs

[Euphon]

I've been feeling deep attraction for a woman. This woman, however, never showed anything in return. There are many things that make this story quite complex, and probably unrealistic, but I'll digress.

I have heard news that she might have started a relationship. In the meanwhile, I recently met another woman with whom there seems to be some genuine reciprocal interest, and although communication has been hard on both our ends, there seems to be some chemistry.

So, I decided to go entirely no-contact with the first. I haven't blocked her anywhere, but I made sure that I don't have any of her online content in front of me. I don't want to know what she's doing, where she's been.

I asked two questions:
"Am I handling the situation with the first woman?" then, I pondered a little and I rephrased it: "do you have any advice on how I should handle the situation with the first woman?"
I was given 9.3.4

The second question, "Do you have a message for me on how to best navigate my relationship to the second woman?"
I was given 60.1.5

 

[my_key]

I asked two questions:
"Am I handling the situation with the first woman?" then, I pondered a little and I rephrased it: "do you have any advice on how I should handle the situation with the first woman?"
I was given 9.3.4

Right now there is not much between you but if you want it to grow romantically you are going to have to slowly woo her and better get to know her and her you. Then the disconnect that exists between you will lessen.

The second question, "Do you have a message for me on how to best navigate my relationship to the second woman?"
I was given 60.1.5

To navigate this relationship you will need to demonstrate to her your sincerity of heart and matching words to deeds. Chopping and changing, blowing hot and cold will not work. The way you have been approaching her up until now does not work for you or for her on many levels - be more emotionally open in modest and heartfelt ways.

...or there may be other interpretations that speak louder to you.

Good Luck

 

[Euphon]

But isn't your interpretation of the first answer quite detached from my question? Would you say the same even taking into account my intention of avoiding her online as much as possible, and effectively let my feelings die out?

 

[Hans_K]

But isn't your interpretation of the first answer quite detached from my question? Would you say the same even taking into account my intention of avoiding her online as much as possible, and effectively let my feelings die out?

But then why raise the question of how to handle the situation with this first woman? It's an open question, which in this case you might get an answer you didn't expect.

H9 is the hexagram of dealing with detail and frustration. The Judgement text talks about dense clouds but no rain yet.
Rain in the I Ching is the symbol of a blessing from Heaven, it allows things to grow and develop. In H9, all the omens are present (dense clouds) but it is now just a matter of waiting to see when it will actually rain.

Trigram Heaven turns into Lake by the moving line at the 3rd position. This is about mentally making a decision, which you do not support emotionally. Trigram Lake advises to open yourself up, assume the unexpected, to be positive.
The text of this line shows the same:

Cart and axle separate.
Husband and wife roll their eyes at each other.

Here you can no longer move forward because the wheel of the cart breaks off. Husband and wife can also be seen as yang and yin, intellect and feeling. The text does show that the two are not in agreement.

Wind turns into Heaven by the moving line at the 4th position.
This is about putting things off and putting things on the back burner. Heaven's advice is to take charge, to take action.
I believe the text of this line speaks for itself.

H10 is the hexagram of daring to take a risk.

Perhaps not the answer you would expect given the choice you made regarding this woman, but the answer, as I see it, advises you to reconsider that choice and this time also let your feelings speak and accept the challenge of entering into a relationship.

This would be my interpretation. As always, take what resonates and leave the rest

 

[Euphon]

I asked a different question:
"Is going no contact the correct way?"
8.1.3.5.6

 

[Hans_K]

I asked a different question:
"Is going no contact the correct way?"
8.1.3.5.6

Hi Euphon,
Of course, that's not how it works. You got 2 extended interpretations, maybe you can respond to those first, before asking help with a new question/answer.
By the way, how do you interpret the answers you received yourself?

It might help to read the thread below again.

How to get the most from sharing a reading

There are some lovely people here who'll help you understand your reading. Here's how you can make it easier for them to help you: Share... some background and context for your reading - enough for people to understand what it's about. the question you asked, word for word. the answer Yi gave...

www.onlineclarity.co.uk

 

[Euphon]

I don't have much time to elaborate on it, but when I read the results, I get the feeling that I'm being encouraged in my efforts to go no-contact with her.

You mention making a decision I do not support emotionally, and that feelings and thoughts aren't in agreement. Going no contact is precisely that. My impulse would be to keep seeking her out, what I'm making is a rational decision that brings a certain amount of suffering, but after much pondering it seems necessary for my own emotional well-being.

 

[Hans_K]

A yes or no question is always slightly more difficult to interpret because the answer is not a yes or no, but an image that has to be translated into a yes or a no.
What image is being painted here?

H8 is the hexagram of unity, joining with others.
H22 is the hexagram of adornment, but also inner beauty and persuasion.
This conjures up the image of wooing someone.

Earth turns into Fire through the moving lines at the 1st and 3rd positions. This the image of being too passive, not making a decision, stuck in an emotion. Fire advises following your passion, connecting. Fire is passion, relationships, the heart, inner clarity.
Water turns into Mountain through the moving lines at the 5th and 6th positions.
Here, decisiveness is affected by uncertainty and fears. An incorrect self-image causes rational choices to be made that are not based in reality. Trigram Mountain advises putting an end to that, to put oneself in the world clearly and distinctly.

"Is going no contact the correct way?"

Based on the above, I would conclude that the no-contact approach is not the right one.
The answer perhaps shows that you need to put some effort into it. You have to woo this woman. H22 also shows that the inside and outside are very different. Outwardly it is a somewhat aloof attitude (Mountain) but inwardly there is passion (Fire).

This would be my interpretation. As always, take what resonates and leave the rest

 

[my_key]

But isn't your interpretation of the first answer quite detached from my question? Would you say the same even taking into account my intention of avoiding her online as much as possible, and effectively let my feelings die out?

Sometimes interpretations that others give require a bit of careful thought to see how that might fit with how you see the world with respect to the question and cast.

You have already made a choice to avoid contact with her so so I'd guess that you do not seek romantic connection. In that case you can easily apply a bit of common sense to my words

Right now there is not much between you but if you want it to grow romantically you are going to have to slowly woo her and better get to know her and her you. Then the disconnect that exists between you will lessen.

Your interpretation of my words might well become " As I do not want any further romantic connection then I will not try to woo her and will not get to know her any better. Then the disconnect that exists between us will grow",

Try not to let your consultations with Yi rob you of seeing things in as best a light as you can, for what you really want to do. You always have the option of following your own heart or mind and not follow or only partially follow the options offered by Yi.

Good Luck

 

[my_key]

I asked a different question:
"Is going no contact the correct way?"
8.1.3.5.6

8 <> 22
'Union' through 'Adorning'

By not contacting her your situation can be likened to sitting in front of a blank piece of paper with nothing written on it (22). The beauty that you really want to see in this relationship is not at yet on display. Work has to be undertaken by you to make the delight of Union (8) that you are seeking become more real. The wise thing to do is to positively connect things together, however you are going to have to strip away some of the ways you have been reacting to the situation, so far, to make that wish have any chance to come true.

... or it might mean something different for you.

Good Luck