Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
However the Wilhelm translation also mentions about inquiring again, which I haven't done yet.
Oh thanks for that clarification Jesed, my other translations don't mention that alright but I take the Wilhelm quite seriously.Yes, Wilhelm´s translation says so. But that is not in the chinese text. On the contrary, the chinese text implies that the primal oracle (meaning, the first consultation) is enduring and worth trusted; therefore, there is no need to ask again
Best wishes
You're right there about the confusion - it started for him a while back. The kind of thing he was saying when we broke up was that this could be the biggest mistake he's making in his life and he knows he should be grabbing me with both hands and not letting go. I think since then he's somewhat 'deconstructed' me to validate his decision. There are emotional issues from the past with him and there has been depression there too. Lots of confusion agogo basically!
As you said, he's confused. But because it is unchanging, i get the
impression that he was already confused, and it was not the meeting
that made him so.
Thanks for your reading on this, it's taken me a bit of time to see what you were getting at there because there was nothing habitual about this meeting and of course I'd love to think what was said made some pennies drop. However, the way I'm feeling at the moment is 'why did I even bother' because I can't see how anything can change just because some stuff came out about my character (and strength and loyalty thereof) that seemed to shock him somewhat. So while the meeting wasn't habitual in any way, I guess it's my dejection in general that the iChing could be picking up on. Then from that dejection is my own sentiment that one meeting couldn't change anything.
What impact did our last meeting have on our relationship? 45 unchanging
This sounds a bit like 'it was just a meeting'.
More specifically, a meeting based not on personal feelings, but more
on a 'tradition', a habitual meeting.
Perhaps meaning that, you know each other well, already, so what
difference could one meeting make? Also perhaps that you're both so used
to each other, that you just keep on having contact, out of habit.
It's amazing what misplaced hope can do, I didn't see how my belief is leading to obstacles ... my interpretation was that my belief is encountering obstacles at the moment . Yes I'd like a heartfelt union with him, we did have that and we both saw huge potential in growing that and making it a long-term thing. I guess my belief is in that potential as opposed to the reality that has unfolded. I really chose him on a very deep level and I got the sense that he chose me on the same level, it certainly felt that way and he certainly acted that way too.
tell me something I need to know about this belief'. 39.3 -> 8
There are obstacles ahead, this belief leads to obstacles, so turn
back to your friends (and discuss it with them perhaps). 8 refers
to a heartfelt union, unlike 45. A union with people out of feelings,
and not out of 'tradition' or just happening to belong to the same
group. And i'll guess that this would be what you'd really like with
him. An honest heartfelt union, which all parties mutually want.
As about if you can be the centre of union or not, i think in this
case you are the one in need of help, and 39:3 suggests that you go
back to your friends and unite with them.
You're right in everything you say there diamanda! I truly believe we do want the same things, but I think I'm maybe less scared of those things than he is ... he talks about needing to protect himself a lot, and as far as I'm concerned as long as he chooses that over being 'whole' and the vulnerability that entails, he'll not get what he really wants. I think the hold he still wants with me is because of what he saw in me in the first place, someone who has done the personal and spiritual work, someone he could believe in and who motivated him to be all he can be. Thing is that I believed in that higher part of him and his desire to be whole and choose integration over deconstruction (examples include him wanting to quit smoking and get fit 'for me', although when he said that I was having none of it, saying that it was all within himself to be able to choose those things - but you get the point, my influence seemed to make him want to choose better for himself. Guess what, he's put on weight and is smoking like a trooper since we broke up). Seems like he's lost that belief or something. Nothing I can do about that no matter how much I believe in that 'whole' him.
As you said yourself, it takes two to share the same belief. And no
matter how compatible you are in other respects, if you're not compatible
in this (ie in wanting the same thing) then obviously a relationship cannot
happen. However i'll say this, since he still wants to see 'how it goes from
day to day' (!?) perhaps there's still a chance. Obviously, for some reason,
he still wants a bit of a hold on you. The reasons, in such cases, are usually
not good... but whatever his reasons are, they will become clear at some
point (at least to you, if not to himself).
I'll toast to that! Thanks so much diamanda, your answer has been very compassionate. I think I'll tattoo that last quote to the inside of my eyelids to remind me that no matter how beautiful the 'whole' him is, if he's only able to choose confusion at the moment I can't be a part of it, it's too damaging and not good enough for me.
... no-one should accept a confused partner,
what we should want is a loving and committed partner! So, until he becomes
exactly that, i'd suggest leaving him on his own in his sea of confusion.)
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).