oh dear no

[nykkic]

I have to admit I have extreme trust issues so now I met a nice man and asked the Ging after 3 weeks " Should I give this man my trust" and received

36.3 > 24

now I am completely confused cos this could mean

a) I can not trust him and will find out that I can't trust him

or

b) I need to work on my trust issues and learn to eliminate them cos they these trust issues are really bad and poison my life


but what is the correct meaning of 36.3 > 24 ???? ... now I am even more confused than before


PLEASE HELP !!!!

 

[diamanda]

It sounds very clearly like a) to me.
I really don't know where you got your b) answer from.
The line says nothing like "the problem is yours and work on your own trust issues".

 

[nykkic]

It sounds very clearly like a) to me.
I really don't know where you got your b) answer from.
The line says nothing like "the problem is yours and work on your own trust issues".

so the answer is not to trust him ??? ... ok I fell into a trap again .. I'm giving up

 

[diamanda]

The way it sounds to me, you can't trust this guy. You'll soon find out why. This guy sounds too easy-going. Perhaps he's too good-lookng, which is a recipe for disaster in a guy usually. 24 is very non-commital. Sorry, i really hope i'm wrong here.

 

[Trojina]

so the answer is not to trust him ??? ... ok I fell into a trap again .. I'm giving up

,,,,I really don't believe that whether or not you trust someone should rely on the opinion of anyone here including myself. It is a very flimsy basis to judge someone on....and you wouldn't be silly enough to do it would you ?

having said that I thought it looked like yes you can trust him overall but don't go checking up on all and everything he does. In 36.3 it actually says the chief of darkness is captured, once you have the chief, the main cause of the trouble, there's no need to go hunting down all his soldiers, that's a waste of energy...things will take time but you have to be patient. However it is also possible to see the answer as "aha you caught this bad guy". You could take it either way. I have to say my very first impression was that you can trust but if it's a new relationship be a bit loose if he wants to keep things private etc be satisfied he's truthful about the important things. Sometimes people tell small lies to retain a sense of control.


You have to work this out for yourself, using the imagery, not commentaries on how to take this. There's nothing to say you fell into a trap...don't hand over your judgment to others here. Too many people in this section seem to want to do this......these are not readings here, only suggestions from people

 

[diamanda]

Trojan, if I asked "trust this person?", and I got "leader of darkness" as my answer... well that would pretty much sum it up. If i got, say, a 15, or an 11, or even a 53, or well, 46, or, pretty much many other answers, i'd say, yay, promising! But... leader of darkness? hmm...

 

[Trojina]

Trojan, if I asked "trust this person", and I got "leader of darkness" as my answer... well that would pretty much sum it up. If i got, say, a 15, or an 11, or even a 53, or well, 46, or, pretty much many other answers, i'd say, yay, promising! But... leader of darkness? hmm...

It's a matter of context. Line 3 is about capturing the rebel chief......so if he is captured he is already disarmed you won the battle, nothing to worry about. There are still peripheral issues to clear up which may take time. I don't think you can just sum things up as if it's all black and white since you don't know. Maybe he can be trusted maybe he can't, neither of us know.

 

[nykkic]

maybe the reading is referring to my almost pathological trust issues... I just don't manage to trust ... it drives me into sadness .. I am trying so hard and just don't manage to trust anyone

 

[Trojina]

maybe the reading is referring to my almost pathological trust issues... I just don't manage to trust ... it drives me into sadness .. I am trying so hard and just don't manage to trust anyone

well rather than beat yourself up for it you could tell yourself you have much need of authenticity....it's a core value for you and you are working with integrating this into your emotional make up.

This is why its not possible to give a yes/no answer here because unless I am sitting in your head looking out at the world through your eyes i don't actually know who this dark chief thats been captured is ! My first thought was that any major deception in the situation has been caught....and that actually this situation was now more or less harmless, but you might take it other ways as Diamanda has or as you have in thinking perhaps this chief you captured was your trust issues.


Whichever way you look at it something troublesome has been rendered harmless in 36.3 but there's still things to clear up.

To be honest most times I get this line it's fundamentally saying "you already did enough to deal with this problem.....let the side issues get dealt with in their own time, you don't need to go chasing anything up"...

 

[Lavalamp]

Seem like a good start. But even with great chemistry, with a great person in a great social context, you are not going to overcome your innate mistrust or lingering hurt quickly, and you aren't going to develop deep relationships of trust quickly. It is going to take time.

But it's okay, this is your process - maybe the other person's process too. You can't force some things.

 

[nykkic]

I don't know ... maybe I'll just give up and not see him anymore ... it's causing me too much stress.... I think I will need to work on myself first before I can see someone again

 

[canislulu]

The part of 36.3 that is standing out for me in this question is "hasty steadfastness is not possible." It seems the advise is about not doing anything hasty. It seems to me that giving up and not seeing him anymore would be a "hasty" thing to do. The other extreme, deciding that he is the "one" that you can trust for ever and ever would also be "hasty." It honestly sounds to me that the "great leader" that you have caught is your trust issues. You know that you have trust issues. Is this really something that you can work on in isolation? Wouldn't the way to work on it be to accept the uncertain journey of a relationship? After all, you say he is "nice". Why not let him be innocent until proven otherwise? You haven't shared with us any reason you have to NOT trust him.

 

[angelatlantis14]

I have to admit I have extreme trust issues so now I met a nice man and asked the Ging after 3 weeks " Should I give this man my trust" and received

36.3 > 24

now I am completely confused cos this could mean

a) I can not trust him and will find out that I can't trust him

or

b) I need to work on my trust issues and learn to eliminate them cos they these trust issues are really bad and poison my life


but what is the correct meaning of 36.3 > 24 ???? ... now I am even more confused than before


PLEASE HELP !!!!

Hi nykkic,

It is my experience that the I Ching gives you answers about yourself, not about other people. So 36.3 in my opinion does not say anything about this man your are thinking about - he is not the "great chief" that is captured. To my mind, brilliance injured/darkening of the light could refer to your emotional state after having been disappointed by other people. Line 3 could mean that you have identified the problem (trust issues). I agree with the previous poster who said that "act not with undue haste" is a warning to to do anything rash, like breaking off the connection immediately. "Hunting in the south" to me could refer to that you need to work on this issue, in order to capture it and keep it from doing more harm to you.

Finally 24 seems to indicate success - it could mean that you will recover from the problems of 36, by working with line 3. I think that would be true no matter if you use the second hexagram as the future/outcome (I know that some people do not use it that way) or if you use it as the general context of 36.3

Please keep in mind that this is only my personal interpretation, what I would interpret if I got this reading in a comparable situation.

I really hope this helps you, and that your situation works out well for you!!!

best wishes

maui

 

[diamanda]

The part of 36.3 that is standing out for me in this question is "hasty steadfastness is not possible." It seems the advise is about not doing anything hasty. It seems to me that giving up and not seeing him anymore would be a "hasty" thing to do. The other extreme, deciding that he is the "one" that you can trust for ever and ever would also be "hasty."

I'll totally agree with the above words of callingcrane.

And a quote on trust:

Confucius said: "At first the way I dealt with people was to listen to their words and trust they would act on them. Now I listen to their words and observe whether they act on them." [Analects, §5.10]

In my personal observation, the majority of people are not to be trusted. You're doing well to have 'trust issues' as you call them. On the other hand, some people are trustworthy. That's why I like the above Confucius quote so much, it's excellent advice. It takes the emotional pressure off - observe, seek signs, wait and see, and only when you have enough information decide if to trust or not. In this case, it sounds like you will find out something you won't like, but 24 is promising that this could be corrected.

 

[nykkic]

omg Callincarane and Maui made me cry just now ... in a good way ... esp. when Callingcrane said (QUOTE) ''After all, you say he is "nice". Why not let him be innocent until proven otherwise? You haven't shared with us any reason you have to NOT trust him. (Quote) ..

each one of you helps me so much right now ... holding a mirror of myself into my face ..the I Ging does .. I am learning ... realizing ... need to work on things or I can never have another person in my life .. each reply here is like helping hand to pull me out of a hole ..

so true... there is nothing ... no reason not to trust him ... but yes innocent until proven guilty ... I realize more and more that the problem is ME .. I AM the one with the extreme trust issues and I know the reason for that are bad experiences with trust since I came from a neglected childhood where we did not even find a safe haven with our parents... I never learned to trust... never managed to .. and then comes''undue haste'' = I panic .. react wrongly .. make mistakes ...give up ...and run ... I myself would not want to be in a relationship with someone like me

 

[angelatlantis14]

Hi nykkic,

all the best of luck and success for this new relationship - I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

maui

 

[nykkic]

thank you so much Maui !!!!

love and light to you !!!!!!