on/off relationship question Hex. 45.2.3.4.6

[Lilly-La]

I did read the titles of the threads here in Shared readings lately and there was one i thought i could ask as well just out of curiosity.
Pretty profane: What are the chances for us as a couple?
Hex. 45 (GATHERING TOGETHER) with moving lines 2, 3, 4, 6

The background is: i (female) have a kind of on/off relationship with a guy (lets call him M.) for many years by now. He has a ex wife and 2 girls (by now 15/17 years old). The on-times have been lovely but never lasted long as M. wanted to keep our relationship secret so the girls and ex wife won´t get jealous. I never felt attracted by the status of a kind of concubine or hidden love :bag:. So i usually finished the on-times. After a couple of months (we had forgotten about the arguments etc) we met again (we live in different flats of the same house) and the game started all over ... however, currently it is off-time again. And this time i have the feeling and the wish the relationship will eventually really 'die'. Too exhausting + frustrating. I did ask the IC to get some ideas why it never got to work at the core. We had a lot of talks about his family situation but i never had the feeling he wanted to change anything though he had the chance too often.

Hex. 45 (GATHERING TOGETHER) summs it up nicely i think. GATHERING TOGETHER never happened.

I would be thankful, to hear/read what you think about the single lines 2, 3, 4, 6.

Thanks :bows:

 

[Trojina]

So thisis 45.2.3.4.6>48


It looks like its good while it lasts but is destined to die yes. I've had similar casts for other situations and often everything seemed fine and I wasn't sure of the 45.6. However in hindsight 45.6 has eventually come to mean "it's all done....cry over it move on". There's been alot of moaning here (45.3) and perhaps you have invested a fair bit...and you gave it what you had but by the sound of it that has not been honoured and i think it will finish.

However some would say 45.6 doesn't have to be the end if you make your feelings known. Thats not my experience...my experience is its full while it lasts, I mean its a full experience but in the end you can't invest here..can you ?


From my POV it looks like you have invested in a very shabby deal for what it bought but I'm not sure it can go on unless he honours that investement fully by being open about your relationship. I'm not sure why you'd even consider being with someone who treats you this way...its very disrespecful which presumably why you finish it often.


The most positive advice here I think is to be very emotionally open with him about what you want. If he still keeps you a secret then thats the end isn't it ?


ETA you wouldn't invest your life savings ina disreputable bank so don't invest your heart insomeone who won't honour it at all. I think he has to make a choice now or lose you as you go and invest somewhere better

 

[gene]

lilly

This is a very difficult reading and would likely take a lot of time to sort out. It has what would appear to be several contradictions in it that would have to be reconciled and understood. The best I can do here is to tell you that hexagram forty five relates more seemingly in this case to the gathering together of groups of people rather than just two people. Indeed there are a number of people involved. There would be you, him, his ex, and two children. He is probably referred to in the one changing yang line. The fourth line is said to be concerned about holding the group together. This is his main concern and he does not seem to be totally focused on you. The third and sixth lines are the only two changing lines that correspond, and they are both yin. This would indicate difficulty at present in holding this relationship together. He is more concerned with keeping you a secret, and may actually still have feelings for his ex. As that appears to be the case, you will have to either accept yourself as a secondary, or you will have to wait probably a long time for anything to appear truly propitious. (hexagram 57)

In this particular reading, I would not rely on the propitiousness of tears. I think the whole thing leads to regret. It may be that you would be able to work this out over a long period, but is it really worth it? Only you can decide. But for now, it appears you are playing second fiddle in a larger picture.

Gene

 

[Lilly-La]

Thanks Gene and trojan for your responses. Very much appreciated !

When i did ask the Yi i really did expect many changing lines. When they appeared i was in a state of WOW.. unbelievable... when i read Hex. 45 my first thought was:
i am too late to the party And i was never really invited.

You are correct Gene, there are more people involved than the ones i mentioned. Not 100 or so but 2 more groups of different interests. I really like to finish this 'relationship' for good which is not easy when living so close and knowing each other so well. M. acted disrespectful i agree though peopel have many more facettes ... I can be a bad girl too

Thanks again :bows: and best to you - lilly