Overcoming obsession - two questions and two responses 42. 2. 3 (Hexagram 42>9) and 51.1. 2 (Hexagram 51>40)

[Annette1957]

Experiencing extreme anxiety after a failed short term relationship, over a year and a half ago. We got on well but the man just didn’t feel attached to me. He moved onto a new relationship and I wished him well.

But I’ve not recovered, for the object of my affection is in my thoughts from waking to sleeping. He does not know this.

Feel at an all time low, anxious, agitated and worthless. And almost ready to die without him. (I’m 55 years of age.) I don’t know what I’m doing wrong as I’ve tried so hard to help myself; e.g. attended CBT, anxiety therapy groups earlier this year but the problem hasn’t changed.

So I consulted on two questions:
First question was “I don’t understand why I am I obsessed with the person, can some light be shone upon this?”

I got: Hexagram 42. 2. 3 (Hexagram 42>9)
Line 2 Wilhelm/Baynes: Someone does indeed increase him; Ten pairs of tortoises cannot oppose it. Constant perseverance brings good fortune. The king presents him before God. Good fortune..
Changing to: He allows himself to be drawn into returning. Good fortune.
Line 3 Wilhelm/Baynes: One is enriched through unfortunate events. No blame, if you are sincere and walk in the middle, and report with a seal to the prince.
Changing to: The spokes burst out of the wagon wheels. Man and wife roll their eyes

Possible interpretation
Are both Lines 2 saying the object of my obsession was a blessing and was good fortune for me, and that is why I am obsessed with him?
Is Line 3 saying I was enriched by the relationship and this is why I am still obsessed by him?
Is changed Line 3 saying that external factors caused the break up (which really didn’t seem to be the reason to me) and this is why I am still obsessed by him?


Second question: was “I have tried so hard but not succeeded to end my obsession. What can I actually do to help myself recover, let go and mend? How can I disengage with my obsession?”

I got: Hexagram 51.1. 2 (Hexagram 51>40)
Line 1 Wilhelm/Baynes: Shock comes -- Oh, Oh! Then follow laughing words -- Ha, Ha! Good fortune.
Changing to: Without blame = there is no error.

Line 2 Wilhelm/Baynes: Shock comes bringing danger. A hundred thousand times you lose your treasures and must climb the nine hills. Do not go in pursuit of them. After seven days you will get them back again.
Changing to: One kills three foxes in the field and receives a yellow arrow. Perseverance brings good fortune

Possible interpretation
Are both Lines 1 saying I have had a shock but shouldn't pursue my treasure - bearing in mind that my "treasure" is my recovery, for I have not pursued the man who obsesses me. And this is how to avoid error?

Line 2: Is this saying I won’t recover unless I pierce the essence (arrow) of the evil/malaise (foxes/my obsession); i.e. understand why I became obsessed? (Which was my first question)

Many thanks for any help.

 

[Liselle]

Wonder if the first reading, line 2, says you're having trouble simply because he was blessing and increase to you? You felt more for him than he did for you, which is indeed unfortunate. Maybe line 3 says that everything you're doing to help yourself is good for you even if you don't see it yet.

The second reading seems promising. Shock now, but moving towards release. 51.1: eventually it'll get better and you'll be able to laugh again. 51.2: but you've lost a lot (I think Yi's kindly saying it understands that and hears you), and you'll have to climb a lot of hills in the meantime.

 

[Liselle]

(9 relating in the first reading - what you're doing to help yourself probably feels like Small Farming that's not accomplishing much. It also reflects your anxiety: all those dark clouds are there, and they're not producing rain, nor are they leaving so the sun can shine. But maybe the small farming is at least keeping you from starving, metaphorically.)