Please help me with my doubts and pain !!! .. please help

[nykkic]

... yesterday on new years day I left my boyfriend ... he neglected me a lot and he was so careless and stubborn often like an immature child more than a man... but god I know there is a lot of good in him too .. I just could not take it anymore and left him hoping that my pain would end that way .... but I'm not sure if this was the right thing to do ..maybe it was and maybe it was not .. I'm so torn ...


so I asked the one that I trust the most.. which is the I Ching .. I'm not good at understanding so I'd like to ask everyone here too what the Ching's answer means:


my questions was:

What will be now with F. and me and our love ??


and the I Ching answered me

53.2.5 > 18


please please help me understand this correctly


Happy new year everyone and god bless you !!!



love
Nykki

 

[Trojina]

Many questions here have history which can help people in current interpretations so I link to your last thread http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/frie...lp-me-with-22-3-5-gt-42-Just-about-to-give-up


If I were to go just on your reading it would appear as something that gradually comes to fruition but from what you have previously said of the relationship in the above thread I don't see how that can be since you say he neglects you.

I think you have done the right thing to end it so I can't really process the answer Yi gave you.

IMO if someone loves you they don't neglect you, it's that simple. The word 'love' is routinely used as an excuse to treat someone atrociously so never mind all the talk about love it's what someone does that matters . Although it depends what you mean when you say he neglects you ? Perhaps he doesn't think he does neglect you ? What is neglect to you ?


It is interesting that you use the word 'neglect' when you have hex 18 as the relating hexagram. I wonder what 18 is saying here. I can't say as I'm biased.

 

[nykkic]

...well I know he loves me ...his way ... he planned out future and children and everything but then sometimes I don't see him for a day or 2 ... maybe I am too needy and need too much closeness.. I don't know .. he doesn't feel he neglcts me and he reacted almost shocked when I told him I feel neglected ... oh god I feel so lost now ..

 

[Tim K]

Both lines 2 and 5 are very beautiful, and auspicious for marriage, hmmm.

Looking at h18, try to take a pause for 3 days at least, better a week
(Legge, He should weigh well, however, the events of) three days before the turning point, and those (to be done) three days after it.)

Line 2 also can be taken as a sign for taking five, sit and eat and restore your energy.
Line 5 promises success, but you have to work for it, climbing higher and higher.
It also does lead to 52, maybe some attitude change is in order?

Internal hex is 64.1.6(Not yet complete) -> 54(Inferior position).
There is still a chance, don't be too hasty, and have confidence in yourself.

 

[Trojina]

...well I know he loves me ...his way ... he planned out future and children and everything but then sometimes I don't see him for a day or 2 ... maybe I am too needy and need too much closeness.. I don't know .. he doesn't feel he neglcts me and he reacted almost shocked when I told him I feel neglected ... oh god I feel so lost now ..

Hmmm he has planned children but disappears for a few days and cannot reassure you and is 20 years younger than you ? No I don't think you are too needy I think you are picking up that he can't fulfil what he promises. If he wants kids with you you need to feel very secure with him, even more so if he is 20 years younger. I wonder if the 53.5 doesn't point to a different relationship for you altogether ?

This is opinion more than reading, but I think you are in quite a vulnerable position with him. If he got you pregnant would he stay around ? Is he going to marry you ? It's just being 20 years younger than you he may need to understand you need extra reassurance. You can't really consider children if you don't feel secure.

 

[freimuth]

The hexagram is actually quite auspicious. In particular, according to the I Ching there is still an open door that you left to the companion and you should eventually be able to patch up the relationship, if this is what you really want. There is also a suggestion that your companion may have been in part led astray by meddling, not well-meaning people. I would not however expect a quick fix - you should be prepared to endure some loneliness before you can get things right. Take courage and remember that determination is one of the most valuable, and most successful, assets in life. Wish you well and happy new Year!

 

[nykkic]

...thank you so very much for your kind replies everyone ... I am still so torn .. i still don't know what to do ... I love him very much but I am so scared ... i can't even put in words what scares me the most .. his carelessness .. immaturity .. yes i know he loves me but god what is the right thing to do .. and YES one thing i learned from this reading .. i will not go back to him just like that ....

i thought maybe 53.2 means that i either just enjoy my time waiting for him to mature and then go back (as 5 says) of that 53.2 means that he and i will just be friends for a while ...

cos I think 53.5 means that we will be back together one day .. but at this point in time i dont know if i want that now ...


god i dont know.. i am so torn .. so torn


love
Nykki

 

[freimuth]

Dear Nykki,
I think 53.5 strongly suggests that you should take your time to make up your mind before things can be satisfactorily settled. Or, stated otherwise, that in the present mood you are liable to make mistakes if you act on the spur of the moment. I would suggest that you should be kind to yourself and let time do its job in healing wounds. Your friend may be immature, but this time may actually prove for him useful to become more mature. Jung used yo say that many things could have a happier end if we just had the patience to let them evolve according to their inner laws. I feel this is probably one of those instances. You may be upset at this time but remember your reading bodes well for you in the longer term. So be patient, be kind to yourself, many answers will be found without you having to be too much distressed. Yes thoughts and reflections are good but all within limits and with the due pace. Once again, the very best to you!

 

[moss elk]

"What will be now with F. and me and our love ??"

If someone I knew asked me this question, say one of my nieces for example,
What I would hear would be: "(I am so upset) What will be now (what am I to do) with (about) F. and me and our love (this whole situation)?"

Interpreting the reading in terms of what I've heard, in this post and your other post, here is how I see the answer:

53: Wilhelm/Baynes: On the mountain, a tree: the image of Development. Thus the superior man (you are to) abides in dignity and virtue, in order to improve the mores. (Carry on in dignity and virtue)

•Line 2: Wilhelm/Baynes: The wild goose gradually draws near the cliff. Eating and drinking in peace and concord. Good fortune.
•Confucius/Legge: They eat and drink joyfully, but not without having earned their food.
Me: (You've done the necessary work to get to this point, rest and nourish yourself for what is ahead)
•line 5: •Legge: The fifth line, dynamic, shows the geese gradually advanced to the high mound. It suggests the idea of a wife who for three years does not become pregnant: but in the end the natural issue cannot be prevented. There will be good fortune.
•Confucius/Legge: The subject of the line will get what she desires.
Me: what you desire = the simple, natural, and beautiful wish you expressed in your other post: Someone who will truly love you for life.

18:
•Wilhelm/Baynes: The wind blows low on the mountain: the image of Decay. Thus the superior man (you are to) stirs up the people and strengthens their spirit (your own heart and spirit).

I think this is an auspicious reading, as was the other.

Nykkic, you know your heart better than anyone else in the world does. If you felt neglected, then you probably were. I don't think that I would be incorrect to say that your posts have touched more than one heart on this forum.
(Mine included)

I just want to end with this thought:
Every year, month, day that someone stays in an unhappy relationship, is time that could be spent in a happy one. Don't settle for less.

Nykkic fan club member,
Moss Elk.

 

[nykkic]

wow .. just wow ... I just don't know what to say .. but THANK YOU so much .,.with all my heart !!!

 

[Trojina]

What happened ?

 

[rosada]

Please?

 

[nykkic]

I never went back to that man cos he was indeed not a good man ... instead I met a new man in October and he shows me so much love and affection

 

[nykkic]

Moss Elk I wrote you a message