Regarding cancer and sugar : 64.2>35, 49.5>55, 36.1.3.6>23

[sylvia1ching]

This is not specific to Yi but my boyfriend has cancer and potential diabetes....your friend may want to consider the Keto Diet.

 

[giraffe]

Yes thank you Keto diet is definitely the way (or one way) —I found a book by Mary Jo Parker that is very good. “Stop Metastacized Cancer Fast” —it is very good, and this is basically the way she used to stop her own lung cancer. One of the main things is that it is affordable, since he has basically no extra money and I only have a little, so will be me paying for this —obviously medical insurance will only pay for the big gun procedures which he is dead set against. Well, I think we can get his doctor to re-prescribe the diabetes medication he goes not need anymore —it is part of the protocol, and the medi-cal will pay for that.However I am having a difficult time I can’t communicate with him very well , every time I try to find a time when I can explain what I have learned about blood glucose and cancer from this book and also offer to transfer the ebook to his computer so he can read it too—He basically just yells at me —says that he can’t hear any of that because of his pain—the pain has put him out of him mind I fear -I think the part of him that wants to die is winning out. Last night I was rubbing where he hurts with magnesium oil and I said that I think would be good to do a whole body rubdown everyday so the cells can be helped in releasing toxins—we could set up the massage table I have. He said “oh what now are you crazy the table is way up in the sky and it takes up all the space “ I was worried but maybe he was just half asleep. Right now I am at an impasse I decided since I cannot talk to him verbally without a barage of hostility effectively filibustering me to wordlessness , that I would write him a letter telling him how I am stuck and I need him to work with me and want to understand his disease and what the cells are doing and the strategy. It is all very clear in the book and all research based and most importantly has worked to stop cancer. I told him please don’t make me into the enemy —I suppose there is a part of him that wants to die maybe and so in that case I am the enemy because I can help him enact a strategy to live,So we shall see. So far he didn’t read the letter just called me up and yelled that he doesn’t see why I had to leave him this big long letter. I know he didn’t look at it because it says in the first sentence why I had to leave it - that I felt writing the letter was my only recourse because talking about this subject has become impossible—it is every time never the right time and a barrage of anger even when I try to set an appointment for when would be the right time to talk about this.So anyway, thank you for the suggestion . I hope we will be able to implement it, but at this point I don’t know.I am not casting the I Ching about this. Pretty dispirited but at least I did my best and if he really wants to die then there is nothing more to be done. We have already been doing the Budwig Diet and wheatgrass green powder with mushrooms he noticed a difference right away but to do Keto diet you need to be precise and also test for ketones use diabetes medication etc and he needs to understand all this instead of letting me do it and being cranky about things he doesn’t understand why why are doing it—for instance during a certain stage of ketosis, for this program you will experience the effects of very low blood sugar and he needs to understand and be prepared for this and know that it is temporary —well he needs to be a participant not just along for the ride, with me driving.I am just waiting for him to respond, at this point there is nothing I can do you can’t help anyone who is not willing to be helped for whatever reason. I am sad but realistic about this. If there are further developments related to an I Ching cast, I will update.Also I am praying , and going to a Bruno Groening “Circle of Friends” conference this weekend .

 

[Trojina]

t.However I am having a difficult time I can’t communicate with him very well , every time I try to find a time when I can explain what I have learned about blood glucose and cancer from this book and also offer to transfer the ebook to his computer so he can read it too—He basically just yells at me —says that he can’t hear any of that because of his pain—the pain has put him out of him mind I fear -I think the part of him that wants to die is winning out. Last night I was rubbing where he hurts with magnesium oil and I said that I think would be good to do a whole body rubdown everyday so the cells can be helped in releasing toxins—we could set up the massage table I have. He said “oh what now are you crazy the table is way up in the sky and it takes up all the space “ I was worried but maybe he was just half asleep. Right now I am at an impasse I decided since I cannot talk to him verbally without a barage of hostility effectively filibustering me to wordlessness , that I would write him a letter telling him how I am stuck and I need him to work with me and want to understand his disease and what the cells are doing and the strategywriting the letter was my only recourse because talking about this subject has become impossible—it is every time never the right time and a barrage of anger even when I try to set an appointment for when would be the right time to talk about this.

Going back to the first points I made at the beginning - not everyone with cancer wants to try all these things and if they don't that's fine they aren't obliged to.


Maybe what he needs right now is just you, without an agenda, without a whole host of experimental treatments and wotnot, just to be there for him.


I've worked on a cancer helpline and I know what a problem it can be for people especially if they are dying (I'm not saying he is) when they feel lonlier than ever because someone close who doesn't want to lose them is pressing on them all kinds of treatments they don't really want and not really hearing that they just need to be with them through it.

Also maybe you can trust him to know what's best for him. I think you have no choice but to leave this alone, don't keep bringing it up and just spend some time being with him and not insisting he try all these methods.


Also think about what you're doing with this because it might be that you are using a very frantic busy preoccupation with remedies and treatments of varying kinds as a way of avoiding your own emotions about the whole thing.


You said

letter telling him how I am stuck and I need him to work with me and want to understand his disease and what the cells are doing and the strategywriting

So this focuses on your needs not his. You are saying you 'need' him to work with you but is this really about what you need ? Are you putting what you need before what he wants ?

What he wants is paramount and I think most people do have quite a firm inner knowing about what they want in the way of treatment or not which I think has to be respected.

Also to state the obvious the very worse thing for his health and well being right now is arguments surely ? If he's getting angry then that is releasing all kinds of biochemicals harmful to his happiness and well being. So I urge you to take a step back, drop the whole agenda of what you need here and just be with him as you usually would. Emotional support and peace of mind are going to do him far more good I would think than massages he really doesn't want to have every day. If he is getting hostile to you now then that is showing you are putting him under pressure. It does sound to me like you want to impose things upon him and he understandably resists and this is damaging the relationship
at the very time he likely most needs the relationship.


Maybe the relationship matters more than what he eats or what massage he has ? You may be jeopardizing the relationship for the sake of imposing health regimes you cannot possibly impose on him anyway. You have to ease off for a while don't you ? In time perhaps he may reconsider all these things but for now you have no choice but to back off and let the relationship recover.

 

[giraffe]

I hear all your points and I realize how it must sound to you.I know it must seem like I put my own needs before his. But he was asking for the massage —not really a massage just a gentle rub. And the thing about the table in the sky I guess isn’t so bad he was/ is probably just very tired. The thing is I don’t want to impose something on someone that they don’t agree with /participate in equally — and he has expressed that he wants to beat this in another way than what they are offering him. To that end I was trying to save his life not help him die. If he had stated that he just wanted to give up and try to be as comfortable as possible would be another matter,The fact that I could never bring the information I found up with him so we could go over it together and and both understand how it works and why —this is how I was stuck because he was saying yes I’m on board let’s do what it takes to save my life then leaving it up to me to prepare the food and serve it according to whatever plan. I am fine with shopping and cooking but I can’t be the one directing the effort to live, alone.Believe me I try very hard to avoid arguments and sometimes I am just standing there while he yells and other times I leave so as to avoid being betrated and other times I try to tell him that getting angry wont help. But it is part of his personality and has been that way for a long time. Though we are close he has always been emotionally abusive and an angry person.I will stand by and try to make him comfortable while he dies if that’s what he wants—but this is nothing like he has stated and to that end I tried to do research to try to find something that was effective and affordable. But it won’t work if only I know about how to do it and why— and that is not what I want. So my last recourse was to write him the letter because I couldn’t talk to him about this subject that he professed interest in —how his life might be saved. If it turns out he is not interested in healing from this but giving up then I will have to accept that and I will try to make him as comfortable as I can, but that is not what he expressed that he wanted to do, and yes, everyone has a right to change their mind. And I do realize he is probably massive amounts of shock and denial. I don’t have a need of my own that I was putting before his. I don’t have a need to be berated, though I know that I have stuck with an unhealthy relationship for longer than I should have. Thank you for your input. We will find a way to make this work , if he wants to try to live or not, we in the end usually do. I was just upset because he had led me to believe he was really ready to fight. Amber he still will be, Indimt know,It seems that when it the C word you don’t have time to mess around. But I don’t run this, as I said, it’s his body, his disease. And so his timetable not mine.He may decide as you said to listen to what I have found and to work together or not. It is just hard to be yelled at for trying to find a way to discuss how their life could be saved. We will work it out we usually do. I don’t think because someone is in pain it gives them the right to treat someone badly even though I understand you think I was pressuring him and so he has reason to. And it’s not like anything new, all the yelling, maybe I thought it could ease up in this life or death situation foolishly.You would have to be here to see, who was pressuring or just standing there saying nothing , etc, so I know it’s useless to defend myself. And also I know I could have walked away if I felt wronged and I still stayed his friend so it’s my responsibility, that I put myself in harms way. And I couldnt walk away now in this situation, when there is no one else, though I have to say I thought about it. I can see how it looks like I am pressuring him but I am not. He just wants me to plan and cook the meals and have them be what he needs for his disease without bothering to understand what or why. I am happy to do the work but I don’t want to be the one imposing things on him

 

[Trojina]

I hear all your points and I realize how it must sound to you.I know it must seem like I put my own needs before his.

I don't think you mean to put your needs before his but I half suspect the way you are dealing with the news of his cancer is not his way of dealing with it. You may be protecting yourself with all this activity around solutions and so on

But he was asking for the massage —not really a massage just a gentle rub. And the thing about the table in the sky I guess isn’t so bad he was/ is probably just very tired. The thing is I don’t want to impose something on someone that they don’t agree with /participate in equally — and he has expressed that he wants to beat this in another way than what they are offering him. To that end I was trying to save his life not help him die.

Yes I know your motivation is to help him, save him but right now you just cannot go at this full throttle and will cause more damage if you try. Going back to Yi's answer - which I have forgotten but think it was 64.2, I don't think you are being advised to be mega persistent right now.

If he had stated that he just wanted to give up and try to be as comfortable as possible would be another matter,The fact that I could never bring the information I found up with him so we could go over it together and and both understand how it works and why —this is how I was stuck because he was saying yes I’m on board let’s do what it takes to save my life then leaving it up to me to prepare the food and serve it according to whatever plan. I am fine with shopping and cooking but I can’t be the one directing the effort to live, alone.

No you can't so let go, relax for just a while and let him come to you about it if and when he's ready.

Also be more selfish perhaps and think of what's best for you. It isn't best for you to be on the receiving end of his anger so maybe just let the contention drop for now. You can see it's only going to escalate if you continue the way you are.


Also be aware that what he says about being on board with this and what he really feels are two different things. I mean he is going to feel very conflicted. On the one hand he won't wish to appear to 'give up' yet on the other hand he may desperately wish to do so.


If he wants to just let things take their course and see how it goes that would be okay wouldn't it ? The thing is you don't have a choice about what he does about this.

Believe me I try very hard to avoid arguments and sometimes I am just standing there while he yells and other times I leave so as to avoid being betrated and other times I try to tell him that getting angry wont help. But it is part of his personality and has been that way for a long time. Though we are close he has always been emotionally abusive and an angry person.I will stand by and try to make him comfortable while he dies if that’s what he wants—but this is nothing like he has stated and to that end I tried to do research to try to find something that was effective and affordable.

Well what he's stated and what he does are 2 different things aren't they and that's not so uncommon when a person is in some degree of shock.

But it won’t work if only I know about how to do it and why— and that is not what I want. So my last recourse was to write him the letter because I couldn’t talk to him about this subject that he professed interest in —how his life might be saved. If it turns out he is not interested in healing from this but giving up then I will have to accept that and I will try to make him as comfortable as I can,

Healing is not always a choice no matter how much research you do, as you no doubt know. What I hear from you is anguish at the lack of control you have over this and that anguish is understandable.


Also you are using quite negative language by using the term 'giving up' as if to be ill or to be dying were some kind of failure. It isn't it's how things go being human. Now if you put over to him that you think his refusal of your help is 'giving up' you are in fact unintentionally shaming him, making out he's a quitter which could be quite a cruel thing to do if in fact he is dying. Now I have no idea if he is dying, it doesn't sound like that's the case as he is in the midst of tests and so on, but if he feels he may be then he needs to be able to come to terms with his mortality in his own time. He clearly isn't ready to say openly he wants to allow nature to take it's course, he's not at that point but he also isn't at the point where he wants to treat this like it's a battle to fight. That's understandable isn't it ? His actions are telling you I think he wants some breathing space to think his thoughts about all of this.

Give him that space and also give yourself that space too.

but that is not what he expressed that he wanted to do, and yes, everyone has a right to change their mind. And I do realize he is probably massive amounts of shock and denial. I don’t have a need of my own that I was putting before his. I don’t have a need to be berated, though I know that I have stuck with an unhealthy relationship for longer than I should have. Thank you for your input.

I think you do have need of your own, of course you do you're human and you don't want to lose him. When I said you were putting your needs before his I didn't mean you were meaning to be selfish but that your own emotional needs were driving you to keep on finding a cure and maybe even all this activity is a distraction for you from the pain of all this. I also know you genuinely want to help him and would do anything to save him. But the fact is right now you cannot go ahead with this not until he expresses a wish to undergo these treatments.

We will find a way to make this work , if he wants to try to live or not, we in the end usually do.

You see I find when you put it that way it's quite accusatory as if he had a choice and he's just too damn bone headed to see it. It sounds like you think it would be a failing of his not to want to want these treatments and it isn't it's just his choice. You do sound very angry with him even though you say he's angry with you.

.You would have to be here to see, who was pressuring or just standing there saying nothing , etc, so I know it’s useless to defend myself

.


You don't need to defend yourself I am not accusing you I know you have his best interests at heart but I also can identify with him.

 

[Trojina]

You do sound very angry with him even though you say he's angry with you.

Correction. it is not so much that you sound angry as that you sound panicked and in a huge panicky rush. That is quite understandable but it doesn't help him or you.

I once sat in a lecture at a cancer centre where the room was full of people with cancer. The speaker, I can't recall what their role was said something like


'As soon as you are diagnosed you will be bombarded with appointments and things to do and choices and treatments and you might feel you have to do these things as instructed. BUT you don't. At any point in your cancer journey (or words to that effect) you are completely free to do exactly as you want.'


I was at the back of the room and what I saw was a huge collective sigh of relief...shoulders relaxed.


I think this has to do with the fact as soon as people are diagnosed their life is sort of taken over and so they lose sight of the fact that regardless of their illness they are in control of what happens to them in terms of treatments and so on.. People can very quickly feel as if their life is now out of their own hands but it's important to their well being that they don't feel that way.


If you are panicking then he is going to sense that panic, that rush, that pressure to act. He may need to feel in control of his own time and choices. You see this as a huge urgent rush, he doesn't. If you could reduce your panic levels it might make more harmony between you.


The readings by the way I feel support what I have been saying. 64.2 isn't telling you to rush ahead in a panic. The 36>23 shows him feeling he needs to hide what he feels. 49.5 shows someone completely in charge of their experience.


There's nothing here in the readings or in just an ordinary view of the situation that urges you to be panicking, rushing, getting stressed or anything like that. Correction. Of course you will panic, it's a natural reaction but I do think it's a reaction you need to pull back from here for both your sakes.


Also of course you may both need more support from cancer charities and so on in simply with handling all this. It's worth seeing if there are any in your area because it's not just medical help that matters but help with the whole experience.