Relationship Qn

[tanjhj]

Hi,

Recently, i knew a gal online we kind of click well on phones, msn on emails. I think she feel abit for me as i seem more matured and understanding than her guys frens her age.. i think she is a great gal, much more better than i am worthy of. She is 20 and i am 27 and both of us are studying. However, due to my age, i feel that we may not be right to progress further to BGR. thus i ask Iching: What can i expect from this relationship with Ms T?

I got:

Hex 1 (changinging at 1, 2 & 3)

leads to

Hex 12

What should i do now in order not to hurt her if the reading is not positive..

Thansk

Tanjhj

 

[RindaR]

How are you seeing Y's response to your original question? I usually find more than a positive or negative response in a reading, and think there's more than that here for you.

Your last question is one you might ask, regardless of whether or not the answer to the first one indicates to you that you should not procede with the relationship...

Rinda

 

[dobro p]

Two possibilities:

You can expect creativity to get blocked.

Your creativity is getting blocked now. Work on unblocking it.

Which one seems more like what you need to know?

 

[willowfox]

"What can i expect from this relationship with Ms T? I got: Hex 1 (changinging at 1, 2 & 3) leads to Hex 12"

Hex 1.1 this suggests that you should wait and see, perhaps there is more that you should know about Ms.T. before acting.

Hex 1.2 you are not in a position to make any move on Ms. T so you should seek advice from others who can advise you as to what you should do.

Hex 1.3 the potential relationship with Ms. T makes you feel alive and happy but take care here to avoid the dangers that are lurking in this relationship, do not let the thoughts of Ms.T lead you into trouble, take a careful look at this potetial relationship to see how to avoid the troubles that will appear later, if you continue with it.

Hex 12 time to stay still, many obstacles will prevent any further advance with Ms.T, not a time to persevere with this relationship, avoid future problems now by keeping still.

 

[tanjhj]

Hi guys,

thanks for ur reply. well not i am still confuse as 3 person is giving 3 suggestion but it seem that there is more negative than positive to procced with this relationship.

Questions1 : Do i need to ask ICHING more question to get a clearer picture?
How should i ask ICHing?

However i will make my situation clearer for you all to see. I knew MS T online via a forum 1 months ago. We kind of click becoz i seem to understand her pretty well and i have this strange feeling to protect her and help her at all cost..
However i have not meetup yet in persons but she wanna meet however i decline all this time becoz of my looks and inferiority complex. She has given me her pics but i didnt gave her mine. i told her i look like a nerd but she said she dun mind nerds. thus i was touched by her gestures. I knew she is quite interested on the online "me" but not sure if she can accept the real me.

now she will keep asking me to meetup everyday thus i am stressed to make a decision as i dunwan to hurt her as this relationship is not going to work out as I percieved IChing said. IF we did go steady, it will be her 1st and my 4th. You see, i would love to be with her but than i am controlling myself as i want to minimize the damage on her as i knew hoe hurtful a broken heart is..

thanks guys..

 

[willowfox]

"Questions1 : Do i need to ask ICHING more question to get a clearer picture?"

Hi, I think that the answer that you have already received is quite clear and to the point but it is entirely up to you how you want to proceed but the I Ching has warned you of future problems if you go through with the relationship. It has advised you to stay as you are and remain single. Of course there is nothing stopping you from meeting the girl in the next few days and being only friends, find out more about her but you want more than just being friends and the I Ching is warning you against that.

 

[tanjhj]

isit?
i am so sad and it hurts. maybe it is fated to meet each other but no destiny to be together..

Now i wonder how am i going to end this and put it where it is suppose to be nicely w/o hurting her..

 

[willowfox]

"Now i wonder how am i going to end this and put it where it is suppose to be nicely w/o hurting her.."

You can always remain as friends, all the I Ching is saying is not to form a romantic relationship with her. I can't see any problem if you carry on talking to each other like buddies but not as lovers.

 

[dobro p]

That's right, W.

tanjhj - and remember what I said about unblocking your creativity?

Work on that and you can answer your own question and deal with the situation without any further need for either the Yi or us for a while.

 

[mudpie]

Tanjhi,
I think the 12 is saying that the way is closed because of your fear and indecision. You are afraid of being rejected for being a "nerd" and your perception of your looks. And then you are afraid of hurting her. YOu express mixed messages. Hex 1, line 3 is about indecision, wavering back and forth, should I meet her or shouldn't I?

I don't see an omen of warning here, only a new experience being blocked by indecision. I don't even see it as telling you the outcome of meeting her, only that you can expect no progress because the fearful part of you is in charge at this point. You could still have unexplored possibilities here.

IMO, the worst thing to do at the very start of any potential relationship is to take a Yi response as a definite YES or NO to the situation. (One exception to this would be if you got a clear warning to stay away...such as 40.4, or something like that.)

In general though, Your fears -anyone's fears- can play too big a part in determining where a relationship will go or won't go.

In thiscase, Hex ONE only tells of the beginning of the beginning. The beginning is sputtering, like an oil burner with no oil. It is possible, I thnk, that if you unblocked yourself by putting fear aside, you might take a risk.

Maybe a better question to ask would be one about decribing the potential of a meeting were you to chooose to do this. Keep the question more simple in this way. "What to expect from a relationship" - esp a relationship that hasnt even started yet, is too broad of a question and thus, your response is only reflecting the current state of things. JMHO! NOthing ventured, nothing gained.

 

[bruce_g]

Listener, imo, magnifique.

 

[mudpie]

thank you so much, Bruce : )

 

[willowfox]

Hex 12 is saying that heaven and earth do not unite in this hex, and so this potential relationship fails to achieve union. This hex is a time of standstill and decline, decline of his hope for a loving relationship with Ms.T. Here he is clearly the weak one while she is the stronger, harder person, that is why hex 1.1 is saying for him to wait and find out more about Ms.T because it seems that she has another side to her that he has not seen yet. Hex 12 is telling him not to be tempted by this girl into taking part in dating her because it would expose him to unforseen problems. It started off well but it will not carry on that way, standstill, stagnation, obstruction, call it what you want, something is wrong with Ms.T.
So, it is advising him not to go through with this idea to form a lovers relationship, it is advising him to withdraw from the field and wait for another.

 

[dobro p]

Hex 12 is saying that heaven and earth do not unite in this hex, and so this potential relationship fails to achieve union. This hex is a time of standstill and decline, decline of his hope for a loving relationship with Ms.T. Here he is clearly the weak one while she is the stronger, harder person, that is why hex 1.1 is saying for him to wait and find out more about Ms.T because it seems that she has another side to her that he has not seen yet.

Ah, you carried me right along until that last bit, the bit where you said 'clearly'. But it isn't clear, is it? It's just as possible that he's the strong one and Ms has another story to be in right now. Or possibly they're both strong, and the flow's blocked between them for some other reason. I mean, it's just a block, but then maybe they're both weak right now. We just don't know, do we?

So, it is advising him not to go through with this idea to form a lovers relationship, it is advising him to withdraw from the field and wait for another.

Gee, I was just about carried all the way through on this one, but got hung up on a felicity of expression. You say 'wait for another'. I love how that can be seen in about three different ways. Another field? Another lover? Another time?

 

[willowfox]

"You say 'wait for another'. I love how that can be seen in about three different ways. Another field? Another lover? Another time?"

I meant "another" as in another relationship.


"But it isn't clear, is it? It's just as possible that he's the strong one and Ms has another story to be in right now. Or possibly they're both strong, and the flow's blocked between them for some other reason. I mean, it's just a block, but then maybe they're both weak right now. We just don't know, do we?"



" But it isn't clear, is it?"

It looks clear enough from here.


"We just don't know, do we?"

Perhaps we just do know.

 

[dobro p]

"You say 'wait for another'. I love how that can be seen in about three different ways. Another field? Another lover? Another time?"

I meant "another" as in another relationship.

Yeah, I realized that. But I really enjoyed the way you expressed it, cuz it offered other interpretations. I prefer 'another field' myself. It gets you further I think. lol

 

[tanjhj]

now she is my gf and now is our 1st month together, however i am always feeling unease that this relationship is going to end soon( based on th reading i have in the start of this thread). i wonder if i get the reading wrong or am i am right?

 

[Trojina]

now she is my gf and now is our 1st month together, however i am always feeling unease that this relationship is going to end soon( based on th reading i have in the start of this thread). i wonder if i get the reading wrong or am i am right?

No I don't think you should worry about your relationship ending due to what someone said here at the beginning of the thread. They don't know what will happen to you, they only give their opinion of what a reading means. The future is largely in your hands, the I Ching only helps you makes choices. I hope you do not let what you have read here worry you and spoil your relationship.

 

[tanjhj]

Hello frens,

i asked iching again : what can i expect from this relationship with malisa? Which is the same gal as the abv..

iching replied:

Hex 54 grey line at line 4

2nd hex is HEx 19

what is the reading abt?

thanks

 

[tanjhj]

i asked iching more specific this time...( btw i am using this website to ask ichingg question http://flytrapinteractive.com/~complimentary/iching/)

"am i and malisa meant to be together as husband and wife"

i got hex 58
leads to hex 58

no grey line

 

[Trojina]

I wouldn't rely on that online I Ching it gave me the same answer to every question I asked it.

 

[tanjhj]

i ask: Is malisa the girl for me? am i her husband?

the the website using yarrow gave me : http://www.facade.com/iching/personal


The present is embodied in Hexagram 8 - Pi (Union): There is good fortune, but let him reexamine himself. Let him divine whether his virtue be great, unremitting, and firm. If it be so, there will be no error. Those who have not rested will then come to him. With those who are too late in coming, it will be ill.

There are no changing lines, and hence the situation is expected to remain the same in the immediate future.
The things most apparent, those above and in front, are embodied by the upper trigram K'an (Water), which represents danger and the unknown.
The things least apparent, those below and behind, are embodied by the lower trigram K'un (Earth), which represents docility and receptivity.

what u guys and gals think? thanks.. just broke up with her 3 days ago due to my foolishness.. now regret big time..

 

[willowfox]

"i asked iching again : what can i expect from this relationship with malisa? Which is the same gal as the abv.. i ching replied: Hex 54 grey line at line 4, 2nd hex is HEx 19"

Hex 54.4 says that she will not stay with you forever because after a time she finds another, a man that she finds to be much more suitable for her. So you relationship is not going too far.

Hex 19 says that it is a time of joy and happiness but it will not last, so enjoy it while you can. Then she will soon take action, and if line 54.4 is correct then she will go her own way and find the other man.

 

[tanjhj]

"i asked iching again : what can i expect from this relationship with malisa? Which is the same gal as the abv.. i ching replied: Hex 54 grey line at line 4, 2nd hex is HEx 19"

Hex 54.4 says that she will not stay with you forever because after a time she finds another, a man that she finds to be much more suitable for her. So you relationship is not going too far.

Hex 19 says that it is a time of joy and happiness but it will not last, so enjoy it while you can. Then she will soon take action, and if line 54.4 is correct then she will go her own way and find the other man.

willowfox, thanks..

how abt other hex that i got from other readings?


thanks again

 

[Trojina]

54,4 could equally mean she marries or commits to you after a period of time. I don't see why 54,4 means she meets another man ?

 

[willowfox]

Hex 54.4 says that "the girl does not throw herself away, she allows the customary time for marriage to slip by".
In other words, she does not give herself to just anybody, here she does not marry because she has no intention of marrying tanjhj.
"There is no harm in this,....., she finds the husband intended for her".
So, there is no problem that the relationship with tanjhj does not last, she is rewarded later by finding the guy she was intended for.
Tanjhj does not want to wait forever to get married, I think his family wants him to get on with it and settle down fairly soon. But this line is saying that she does not want to marry/settle down, why? Because tanjhj is not the man for her, she is quite happy to wait a while longer until she finds Mr.Right.

 

[bruce_g]

She ain't done sowin' her oats, but she ain't easy either.

 

[willowfox]

To be quite honest with you, www.flytrapinteractive and www.facade.com do not look to be of any use what so ever, so any answers that you receive are lightly to be suspect, better stick to the tried and tested 3 coins, DIY.