Relationship Questions: What do I want? What does he want from me?

[Mru_17]

I read about relationship questions and queried the following:What do I want from X? 45.5.6 changing to 35My guess is this means that X breaking up with me 14 months ago caused me much pain which is why I am doing a lot of therapy and working on myself. This is leading me to deeper development and change and I hang on to the hope of a relationship with me because it causes me to work on myself and advance.What does X want from me? 58.2 changing to 17My guess here is that he wants me to be patient with him and continue my development.Thanks in advance for your help.

 

[diamanda]

What do I want from X? 45.5.6 > 35
To meet in a large group, then him to show repentance, and then a lot of communication between you.

What does X want from me? 58.2 > 17
He wants you to appear like a confident woman, and run after him.

I Ching apart, do you truly think that he's not with you because you're not advanced/developed enough? This is not what men want. I will cite here the example of a guy I've known for decades, and he claims to be super spiritual, ever developing, yoga, other innovative practices, etc etc. He told me that he only fell in love once, with an empty-headed doll-like young lady who he couldn't keep his hands off (his words). And he got together with his current girlfriend (whom he tortures with his multiple infidelities, and other emotional abuse, for years now) because she was wearing gorgeous hold-ups (his words). So much for personal development and how men choose.

By all means, therapy is great for you as a person, for your own sake, but please don't expect therapy to bring this guy (or any guy) to you. You need different tactics to get guys - therapy, although good for you, is not a mating tactic.

 

[becalm]

That's exactly right - work on developing your self worth and you'll probably dtich this guy real quick.Diamanda what happened to the love of his life???? A lot of people pertain to be spiritually developed above all others - some are but most are not they just hide behind it so noone sees their true BS

 

[marybluesky]

My take is that Mru doesn't seek personal development to attract men; quite the contrary: she appreciates how relationships- with all ups and downs- can help her grow, even after they end.

Back to the reading:
What do I want from X? 45.5.6 changing to 35

You want to be "together"(Hex 45) with him and advance (Hex 35)...
45.5: " If one has position, people will gather. No blame. If he does not have the trust of all, he should perpetuate his magnanimity. Remorse will vanish." And want the power to do so- even forcefully- while not having enough confidence in the relationship. "You can force the issue, but don't expect it to last for long. (Nevertheless, this may be necessary in the present circumstances.)"
45.6: "Lamentation and deep sighing, with tears from the eyes and dribbling from the nose. No blame." You seem to be sad, not knowing how to reach what you want. It's OK.

What does X want from me? 58.2 changing to 17
He wants you to be open and joyful (Hex 58)...
58.2: "Truthful joyousness. Good fortune. Remorse vanishes." And gladly trust and follow (Hex 17) him, compensating for past disappointments.

Good Luck!

 

[diamanda]

Diamanda what happened to the love of his life???? A lot of people pertain to be spiritually developed above all others - some are but most are not they just hide behind it so noone sees their true BS

So well said!
What happened with her - he said it was a very short affair and that she ditched him "because they didn't click". So, not empty-headed at all, clever girl to suss him out so quickly. Hard to tell what is true in his story though, as he lies quite a lot in general.