status of relationship: moving on (??)

[dragona]

Have to say that iIdon`t understand this kind of reasoning on his part...one should be willing to do something to make the loved woman happy and contented if one possibly can.
I wonder...have you ever considered asking what kind of a life you would have without him in it?
Just wondering...

 

[elizabeth]

I think of that every day, and the answer is the same life I've had for 37.9 years: lonely.
I dont want to get into it bc it is a really long explanation-- I have a full life, friends, work, published books, family etc. My life is full. I am grateful for that. However.... nothing can replace sharing your life with a single human being, at least I feel that way....

However, I totally agree with you Dragona, I dont understand his reasoning either. I think he presumes (but does not understand) that I will be or should be content with "whatever." (??) That's my best guess at trying to understand his "logic" (which is illogical to me).

 

[dragona]

And we are prepared to take quite a lot on ourselves to make it happened...perhaps the change of strategy on your part would make him react into some sort of decisive action. We females of the species can really be too hard relationship workers for our own dissapointment. Whish I could help us both somehow.

 

[elizabeth]

Exactly. I think that's the problem -- I'm hitting the "stop" button and it makes me miserable. Because I have a limit (one I would have ignored, and did so, 15 years ago). So I'm putting my foot down and --so far-- he's not moving. But if it comes down to it I will probably have to step away and say "OK then it wont work out." I honestly dont know what he would do if I go to that end. I hope he will get better, reconsider what he said and revise it. But that's just hope, and you can only live on it for a short time.