Tough time - need help interpreting and maybe a little encouragement

[Kam1987]

Hello,

I did two readings lately.

I ask: about my current situation in life right now and got: 33.3 changing to 12

Then I asked what I should do to get out of this lifestyle into a better one and I got: 36.1 changing to 15

Backstory, I was living in New Orleans since 2018 and during the pandemic and my mother whom I was living with lost her job. She made a deal with the landlord without telling me and we had to move. Previously I had been living in Portland with my family two years prior. I was going to go back there but my mentor suggested I not follow my mother and family and try to make it in New Orleans or DC where I had been suggested to move.

With the advice, I stayed in New Orleans at a hostel for the holidays. Then I was invited up by a friend to the Richmond, Va area where I stayed for a while until it got weird with this friend and I tried to find an apartment.

I had some outstanding project in Portland, OR (film project) so I thought I would drive out there for a couple months then come back and get a place to live.

On my way out there, I stopped in Kansas and had a bad feeling about driving to Portland. So I stopped. A friend of a friend introduced me to someone from Kansas who had a room open and I stayed there until I could decide whether I would go back to Richmond/DC area or continue on west. It was going really well until one night I was doing doordash and someone stole my car.


it was found a couple days later with stuff missing but the insurance adjuster said it could be fixed. It would take a while.

So I decide to fly to Portland for an artist residency I had while they weee fixing my car. They call me on the last day of the residency and tell me the car is totalled. I’ve been in Portland since…
The car was my way of getting around the East coast, and making money and even some nights a place to sleep while I looked for housing. I feel stuck right now not wanting to repeat the last 10 years of my life living with/around family (atm) and in Portland. I need a new life. I worked hard to get a car and the independence that come with that. I feel like I keep messing up my life and the good things. I often feel like it’s hard to make decision. The chance I had to change course from staying with family and getting my own place I feel like I really messed up. The one decision I made to stay in Kansas while I evaluated and continue to make money messed me up.

Thank You for your help!

 

[redoleander]

I’m really sorry you’re going through such a rough time. I think your casts show that this has been hard. Both castings seem to mention unsupportive people around you (or those who bring you down in some way or take from you). Right now, you might not have many options and you’re momentarily stuck. Nothing is forever! The second casting is either about suggesting you travel somewhere you can be more supported for a fresh start, like someone you can stay with to get on your feet and save money, or it’s about keeping your ambitions and any advantages you gain very close to the vest until you’re in a strong enough position to move on your own (and it sounds like those around you might not like that/ have something to say about it). It looks like you are tasked with navigating difficult people and your retreat from them. Overall the advice seems like trusting in your own plan and keeping your strength close to you so you can keep moving. It’s a setback but if you were able to get a car once you’ll be able to do it again. Or whatever will give you more independence. Maybe also ask for perspective on what attitude or approach will help you, or what to focus on/keep at the center. Your goal and your centeredness to stick with it every day even as you have a setback could become very miraculous! You never know what will appear to change a stuck situation. Accept where you’re at and don’t let anyone bring you down. Keep your desires at the center and protect yourself from any negative influences.

 

[mandarin_23]

Hi Kam1987,

difficult times! The first reading reflects that you are blocked in movement. You want to withdraw from all the difficult people around you, and make a new start, but you can't yet, there are still obligatons, things going on. So that you need to calm down and bear the situation with a bit of patience.

Also it points at retreat - withdrawal from evil. This is an inner process. Gain inner independence, inner distance. You can't just drive away with a car, but you can move your mind. Anxiety and worries might have come to you, don't let them overwhelm you. Take your time.

The second question also tells you a way how to get out of struggles. Your situation is not easy, and you do better to keep a low profile - I agree with redoleander. There seem to be difficult people around you, and you can't really beat them at the moment. To me, it looks like a message "keep calm and carry on". The related hexagram 15 is about finding an inner balance. To be "on the move" - whatever this says, but it will be better not to identify with whatever is around you. Better not to fight, but to avoid being hurt, and keep an inner flame.

All the best
Mandarine_23

 

[Kam1987]

Thank you @redoleander and @Mandarine_23 for your straight to the point and thorough interpretations, understanding and kindness. You both helped to clarify and affirm what I thought was the case from the reading. It’s definitely odd, because I don’t see my family as negative influences but they have definitely not been helpful when I was trying to be independent -they wanted me to come back to Portland and constantly wondered why I was still out there trying to find a place for myself and go on this journey of independence. It was not helpful having that doubt even though I know they were just worried about me.

@redoleander youre right! I’ve been working on having positive thoughts (not self defeating ones) more and working on not venturing into the past with regret(this has been getting hard as of late). But I definitely agree:miracles can happen if I do so. It just feels so hard to concentrate right now. But I will.


@redoleander I did two readings further. The One you suggested was:

What perspective, attitude is best to focus on that I should keep at the center?​

61.5,6 changing to 19

The other question relates to one of the only things keeping me sane right now which is playing, learning and making music(drums, guitar, voice). I’ve been contemplating sharing it online to maybe feel less stuck.

I asked

Is it best to keep making music and share it online at this time?
58.2 changing to line 17

Considering so much of the previous readings are about hiding my light. I wander if I should just keep making music but be low key I.e don’t share anything yet. Just focus on my goals.

Thank you all again.

 

[redoleander]

Just to quickly mention, the fact the difficult people are mentioned doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be paranoid about those around you or anything. Everything expresses on a spectrum. Could be relatively minor, or could possibly be more major than it immediately seems, even if no one has bad intentions. We can’t assume intention, we can just know that somehow your desires are at odds with your environment.

61.5.6 > 19 does seem consistent with the first message. Know your truth and hold to your truth. Talk is just talk. The value you now is in being absolutely honest with yourself and others, holding to what is true. 61.5 is fortunate too so maybe that message about not shouting your good luck as it starts to come in, just letting it build up. Don’t get distracted by what’s loud and flashy. Meditation or anything that helps you listen would probably be good on a regular basis Walk the walk and all that.

58.2 > 17

It’s interesting, I’m not 100% sure about your music because there is definitely a protective theme in your other castings (including 61.6 which could certainly be about your music too but I’m not sure if it is) so possible a message to lay low. This line is about doing something for the joy. Your lines in these two castings have such a theme of purity! Pure truth. Pure joy. Simplicity. When faced with a choice between lower and higher pleasures, choose higher. Not sure how that resonates for you. Like maybe if, say, you’ve been partying too much it will tend to mean to calm down and choose a joyful path that’s more moderate. My first thought seeing this line with your question was “follow your heart”. Seems like seeking attention for attention’s sake could bring trouble but doing it for the love can’t ever be wrong. Tricky with performance because of course you want to be seen and have success! That’s all valid. Your lines, though, really emphasize integrity now. Whatever you do, be in integrity and choose influences which are as well (and be very thoughtful about being influenced at all!)

 

[dfreed]

I ask: about my current situation in life right now and got: 33.3 changing to 12

Line 33.3 reads: "A tied-up piglet. There is danger of illness. Tend to your servants. (Then) Good fortune." (parentheses are mine) trans. Stephen Field.

I see this as two separate ideas (or perhaps a kind of progression): the first is describing your feelings about being tied or settled down (perhaps your return to Portlandia ) - and the illness you think it may cause. What I wonder is, is this only how you are perceiving the situation or is it actually not good for you?

But setting that aside for a moment, the second part suggests that you need to tend to and develop a support systems - i.e. a place to live, a job, a vehicle .... My sense is, if you look to these things, the first part will take care of itself - or at least get you closer to resolving or dealing with this 'sense of danger and illness'. After all, the line ends with 'Good Fortune'.

This is reflected in the changes I see in the trigrams (three-line figures): 33 has trigram Mountain below, with the 3rd line changing to Earth (the lower trigram in 12). I see this as representing you: you are feeling stuck (a negative aspect of mountain), and need to tend to the basics (what is 'of this earth') and this will lead to being focused and creative - both aspects of Heaven, the upper trigram(s).

I hope this is of some use for you.

PS - your reading reminds me of a song I just discovered, Jackson Browne's 'Barricades of Heaven' - a wonderful meditation on how many of us ended up 'on the road' when we were young. It brings tears to my eyes, and I love that Jackson is now an old geezer like me, and the slide guitarist and bass player are family - husband and wife - and oh, that slide guitar! ....

Running down around the towns along the shore
When I was sixteen and on my own
No, I couldn't tell you what the hell those brakes were for
I was just trying to hear my song
....
Life became the paradox, the bear, the rouge et noir
And the stretch of road running to L.A.
Pages turning - Pages we were years from learning
Straight into the night our hearts were flung ....

Best, D.

 

[Kam1987]

Thank you @dfreed and @relodeander
Definitely things to consider. I often find myself in trouble when I don’t listen to myself - when I’m not honest with myself. Honestly I wish too much partying was the case. I haven’t been having enough fun or joy. Could probably use more of that.

Definitely perspective plays into things always especially now, yet after years of having lived here in Portland I know it’s not the right place. But one of the dangers lies in continuing the cycle of stagnation/dependence/fear, which leads to depression and decay, etc.

Trying to use this time of laying low to change that inner habit.
One of my dreams is to be able to shine in this world. I’ve often felt in the shadows. So that is a funny thing. I suspect that shining needs to come from a genuine and joyful place…

Thank you both for the interpretations.

 

[Kam1987]

Thank you @dfreed and @relodeander
Definitely things to consider. I often find myself in trouble when I don’t listen to myself - when I’m not honest with myself. Honestly I wish too much partying was the case. I haven’t been having enough fun or joy. Could probably use more of that.

Definitely perspective plays into things always especially now, yet after years of having lived here in Portland I know it’s not the right place. But one of the dangers lies in continuing the cycle of stagnation/dependence/fear, which leads to depression and decay, etc.

Trying to use this time of laying low to change that inner habit.
One of my dreams is to be able to shine in this world. I’ve often felt in the shadows. So that is a funny thing. I suspect that shining needs to come from a genuine and joyful place…

Thank you both for the interpretations.

 

[redoleander]

Thank you both for the interpretations.

On a very basic level it's important to say that 58.2 is a pretty positive line! We can analyze but ultimately this is a good, hopeful line. So hold your music in a positive light. Yi is holding it that way I think!