Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
At 1am he sent an email asking something about meeting around 6pm tonight, but if i were not up in the middle of the night, I would not have seen it until 10am at the latest, the same day of our meeting. In my view this is rude and inconsiderate. My friends always confirm at least 24 h in advance. I do not want to give this person the idea i'm ok with waiting til the last minute with things, hanging ona nd setting aside entire evenings for something that might not happen at all. I also think he's just failed a basic test of respect for other people's time (ie mine). I do not feel that i can go to meet him in good spirits now, as he has offended me greatly. Even if i go this will be eating away at me.
"Show me a picture of me cancelling tonight."
ENTHUSIASM Hexagram 16, lines 1 and 4. and HEX 24.
Thoughts?
I"m not sure what to do but my gut tells me going is a bad idea given my sour sour black mood. I haven't been this upset in months. Really.
Thanks Trojan. I thought that "enthusiasm" was maybe a signal in favor for cancelling. But the lines do point the opposite direction.
I am just so irate right now after all i went through, i seriously decided at 8pm last night that this date wasnt happening at all, period. I hadn't heard from him a word all week. For all i know he was out of town and forgot about our "tentative' plans.
I realize other people have different perceptions of time, but mine and his clearly differ. And longterm i'm not ok (I cannot be) with someone who is so last minute, my schedule just does not give me that luxury.
I"m not sure what to do but my gut tells me going is a bad idea given my sour sour black mood. I haven't been this upset in months. Really.
You could go and say "listen i really don't want to be here, i think you are a total waste of space but people on an I Ching forum have told me to come...and i need to report back to them"
LOL. actually that is the SINGLE best advice I've heard yet
It gives me an idea too. What if i actually say that (Only i wont mention the forum, but just say "my friends said". I could say it as a joke but i am SURE it would get the point across!!
I have no idea. I physically feel sick about this bc i have been trying (unsuccessfully) to not fall for this man. And somehow in the span of 3 weeks and the previous emails i have fallen inspit of myself. HE HAS no clue about this. And I now feel that i should not be with him, there are signs like this (and other similar "flakey" things) that just to me speak that he's not longterm material. This is sort of a microcosmic example supporting that fear.
I feel torn in half and my heart aches with the realization he's not for me. And so I dont know how to proceed bc i dont feel i can go and feel "happy go lucky shiny pretty girl" tonight bc i'm ripped in half inside now. As stupid and LAME as i know that sounds. I had expectations and basically he failed them...
And i dont feel i can go with the "just friendship" mindset SINCE i am so attracted to him. Which puts me in this weird limbo space -- angry at a potential suitor for failing, and not comfy with acting "just friends" bc my heart is pushing me to be and to request more from him.
You make a valid point about not standing me up entirely; but psycholigically, for me, the outcome is the same. I dont need constant or repeat confirmations but i need to know if a meeting is happening or not. It would have even been OK for him to say "I will confirm with you *on that Saturday morning* when and where we will meet.' FINE. But no, he didnt say that. And the happy-go-lucky social butterfly came in late last night, had brunch this morning with friends followed by shopping and hasnt even SEEN his email yet, approaching 1pm in the afternoon, same day, so what is SHE supposed to think??
This is all just so screwy....
The trouble with interpreting on these shared readings is mostly we simply don't know the background. At a glance I'd say this is someone you feel comfortable with and who you could come to trust a bit more (and its still early days..I mean he needs more time to fall for you doesn't he) but from what you say he really is being rather flakey.., so certainly if you feel you had enough of his behaviour then i wouldn't argue with that. The readings have to be interpreted in the light of the situation as you see it not how i see it.
Sounds like you've fallen for him and you are now terrified/panic stricken/disapointed all in one, very stressful.
I am trying to figure out if i just have to kill him off inside me or what. That seems the only solution here...
About 2 yrs ago we met for coffee, our annual "reunion". I really did not see him or even talk to him that often but once per year we'd get together. Well after one such meeting he asked me flat out (by email) if he asked me out would i be interested. That's what I recall of the email. At the time I was going through some massively stressful huge life changes and could neither focus on his question nor answer it properly. So I did not answer. I also was very put off by the kindergarten nature of "If". It was like he wanted approval and "green light" *before* even asking me out. My gut reaction was "be a man and ask and you'll FIND OUT." Maybe it was wrong of me at the time but again, i was going thru so much, I couldnt even focus on that. But i also recall being annoyed bc we were in separate cites and countries when he asked. What could I say? "sure?" It would not have changed anything at that point. Anyhow: I am certain he took that for rejection. We remained in touch and good friends after that, no harm done. And never mentioned again.
...
Ok I promised the update, so here goes.
Turns out that he had had some serious health scares earlier this month, which I had known about, but basically they continued during his "week of silence." He went on at length explaining them to me. Bottom line is they did not preclude him from informing me about them *during the week* (altho he did not admit as much) but, they did explain *what* he was preoccupied with, so i am guessing he was either too insecure to tell me OR too absorbed/worried about them to mention them midweek. He also perhaps was unsure how well he would be come Saturday. So in short, I got a reason for his last minute contact. Sort of.
When we met, by some twist of fate, my anger had dissipated so i wasn't rude or mean (thank God). Not that I planned to be, but i was so wound up, i wasn't sure how i could handle the evening. As it was, it was completely natural and normal -- like you mentioned the feeling of "kin", Trojan -- it's almost uncanny bc i never feel so relaxed while on "dates" with someone. Usually I have to explain myself and my interests and my point of view. With him i dont. It saves LOTS of time.
The evening itself was wonderful, and Trojan, I truly owe you for interpreting those hexagrams correctly. I am surprised and humbled by just how wrong I was (but mannnn was I heated up with ire!). I haven't felt that passionately about something or someone in years. THere's some fire as concerns him apparently! It would have been wrong to go or to cancel and i'm exceedingly glad now that i did NOT cancel.
We went to dinner and a performance, and he was showing me off to his friends afterwards, introducing me to literally everyone he knew. I'm not used to such public attention (it was like a party after the show, with lots of people milling around).
The problem is our entire relationship is very strong/close friendship with some flirtation involved, and I"m dying of...longing for him, and he has no idea. Well maybe htat's not a problem, but for me now it is!
Hi Elisabeth
I am new when it comes to the I Ching but just wanted to offer my opinion without looking at the reading. I am in total support of your attitude here. Some people need to learn to respect others' time / schedule and who can teach that to them?
I hope things worked out in the end. That is, you followed your instinct and behaved in a way that trained this potential partner to get an insight into how YOU want to be treated from now on.
Sometimes the best way to obtain things is to act like you're on the edge of a cliff with nothing to lose it is hard but you'd feel so much better for it. It usually works for me
Good luck to you.
Bea xx
Not related with this topic so is off-topic, please excuse, but what if he is so inspired in this very moment that he is dieing to see you... right now, in this very moment. what if he wants to offer you a moment o joy and enthusiasm which will last only few seconds ?
imo, planing and schedule too much will ruin everything or, at least, make everything dull . inspiration is a wild beast...it comes when it wants to and not on a schedule. sometimes is very relaxing and refreshing to just listen the music.
i'm talking from my point of view here since is very frustrating for me to schedule a date a week before just to find out when the time comes that i'm not in mood for a date.
In answer to your question, my point of view as a rather traditional female is as follows: 1) if a man is that inspired, he will contact you.
2) if he is that inspired, that "passion" will not die down after one day or one week. If it is real passion, if it is genuine. If he truly feels something, you will be able to plan something 3 days or 3 weeks out.
3) if his "joy and enthusiasm" lasts only a few seconds For ME, then i do not want to be with this person bc it is not real.
++
In any case, am still hoping for help with these last few hexagrams...
judging on point 3 you should not ask because he is not real and you do not want . still you ask
If you dont want to help, then I am not sure why you are posting (??)
Reposting the hexagrams again:
"Show me a picture of my physical relationship with him in the next 30 days."
(note: there has been no physical rel'ship to date, but im essentially asking if there will be one)
Hex 2 Line 5 and hex8 [Holding together]. At first I thought this was positive but a friend indicates it is not – that the “aristocratic decency” basically indicates NO physical relationship??
"How does he see me now?" (I asked this on Monday Jan. 25th)
33 Retreat, lines 3 and 5; and 35 Progress. (I take this that I should retreat. The lines are of great concern to me. Other women?? Does this mean he is seeing someone else?
"Show me what progress comes if I retreat from him."
Hex 36 Darkening Light line 3; and hex 24.
Not sure what this last means.
Elizabeth I have really limited function time since I'm ill right now..but you do seem angry with him..yet as he doesn't know how you feel hes not wilfully hurting you is he ? If you are sure he only wants friendship then thats sad for you..but i don't know why it makes you so mad.
Hmm anyway I don't think you should try to draw conclusions too soon with 36.3. Give it time, things can't be settled all at once. I know you aren't in the mind frame to be giving him more time...but there does sound alot of pressure on him to perform a certain way or hes out the door. Someone you feel comfortable with and have a good evening with is still a good thing to have isn't it ? Maybe your agenda is actually getting in your way. 2.5 is about modesty, not pushing things and so on, actually doing well in a less than ideal status position I think. Withthese reading it may be an idea to subdue agendas you have for making progress...hard I know
I hope others can assist further i have to lie down
Take it easy
one more thing, don't perform divination, toss coins, draw cards when in you are this state of flux. first of all , while in this state, you will hear only what you want to hear. second the emotional impact and programming will be very strong.
balance yourself first (for few days in a row) then toss the coins. <----- this IS help
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).