Valentines Confusion 36 & 31.3>45

[ec456]

Hey guys, Happy V-day.

I am about to hit my head against the wall on this one. I will keep it short though. I recently had to start a long distance relationship with my gf. She has moved to the UK. Before she left we only dated for about 2 months but it was like the sweetest time of my life, and I think she is the first girl I have actively fallen in love with and has led into a relationship. Before she left she was so caring and very invested in our future together - that was the only reason i agreed to the long distance and the relationship, as I am pretty serious when I love someone I know I can't take things lightly.

Well anyways its been just over a month that she has left. She is very invested in her studies I totally get that but pretty quickly she has cooled off toward me and seemed less and less caring and sweet. Instead it has been replaced with criticalness and indifference. It has gotten to the point where I am considering ending the thing because 1. Its making me extremely depressed 2. I worry she is going to break up with me eventually 3. i know it is going to be a few years till we could be together, the long term prospects seem very limited especially considering the attitude.
So today I asked what would occur if I end it: 36 unchanging
I thought that seemed quite dark and maybe that it would only lead to injury to just break things off when I still have so many feelings and we never really got to fully materialize things.
So I asked what is the best way to handle it: 31.3 -> 45
This is where I get lost - I can't tell what the suggestion actually is.. So what do you guys think? Throw in the towel soon or keep it up? I have noticed that the relationship reminds me in some ways of past ones where I invested a lot of emotions only to have lukewarm or sporadic responses.. I am trying to reflect and make the wisest decision so I don't hang on like a fool as I have before.. I also don't want to lose someone I really love a lot. A side note is I have tried to talk to her about it but it goes in circles and her behavior stays the same.. Thanks for any help.

 

[rosada]

36. Darkening of the light unchanging sounds to me as if it you are being advised that you could indeed end it but you might find yourself carrying a torch for her.

31.3 Influence sounds like you are being advised to control your desires and lower the intensity to "Friendship" rather than striving for committed partnership. Perhaps if you do then your connection will have a better chance of surviving this long separation.

Perhaps you would get value from asking the I Ching, "How should I see this relationship?" or "What is the long term potential?"

Rosada

 

[ec456]

Thanks Rosada. Yes I do think that if I break up with her I would still carry many feelings.. Wow friendship, I have never successfully had a friendship proceeding a relationship, maybe it could be possible in this case.However I think we relate more as lovers and never really developed a strong friendship aspect, that is perhaps another reason the distance is so tough..

I asked the Iching what the long term prospects were and recieved 54.2.5.6 > 25 Marrying Maiden to Innocence. I found line 3 especially striking "embroidered garments of the princess not as pretty as the maid" I think this might be referring to her wealth (her family is quite wealthy but also very conservative Christian Chinese and not accepting of our relationship) Maybe I am better with someone from a different background? What are your thoughts on this one?

 

[ginnie]

Given all the obstacles to union and also that line 54.6, "absence of solid worth," a person holding an empty basket, it seems that the sweet love you already shared was the lion's share of the happiness that will come from this relationship and that you would do well to stop hoping for it to continue. 31.3 also indicates that your feelings are passionate yet rather shameful in that you are clinging to that which is inferior. Again, you have already experienced the best part and it's now time to turn away, for your own good.