What are the reasons behind his behaviour? 38.2.4>27

[memobook]

Dear all,

As suggested by a most thoughtful member , I asked what are the reasons behind his behaviour - is it really what he says it is? I'm trying to understand the situation better and gain some closure (if I can call it that!).

Change in 2 is very reflective of our situation..we had been seeing each other in almost secretly for more than half a year after a turn of events...but how does this relate to my question?

Again with change in 4 I really don't know how this relates to my question and who is the "good man" referring to?

Any insight would be much appreciated

memobook x

 

[gene]

Perhaps you have some friend that can act as an intermediary?

Gene

 

[diamanda]

Hi memobook!

The answer you got tells us that he is indeed telling you the whole truth.
This is truly the reason why all this is happening.
What's more, when he spoke to you about his feelings, and all his other
words, were true as well.

"we had been seeing each other in almost secretly for more than half a
year after a turn of events...but how does this relate to my question?"
This actually is just the sort of detail that proves the whole thing by
itself! If he was not telling the truth, and if this was just an excuse, why
take all that trouble to meet in secret?

Also consider these comments, from part II of W's commentary:

38 - "When the way of the Family comes to an end, misunderstandings come".
"Opposition means misunderstandings, opposition means estrangement".
"The superior man maintains his individuality".
38:2 - There is a meeting "by crooked paths", "not according to rule", but
that is correct and there is no blame.
38:4 - "Association in good faith", "the will to overcome the misunderstandings".
This good, like-minded person is isolated, "for it is placed between two dark
lines", which suppress it and prevent the union of 4 and the like-minded 1.

And 27, talk, words, discussions. He spoke to you about all this, and his
words agree with his actions, and it's all true.

I know there are various cultures of people around, but i still find it
quite extreme to hear that his parents have such an enormous power
over him as to dictate to him something so personal. I really wonder how
they managed to convince him to do as they please?

And yet, they say that true love conquers all (im a hopeless romantic!)
and it does sound as if he truly loves you. Let's see, when someone
feels true love, there's only as long as they can live apart from their
other half!

Hope you are as well as circumstances allow

 

[memobook]

..This actually is just the sort of detail that proves the whole thing by
itself! If he was not telling the truth, and if this was just an excuse, why
take all that trouble to meet in secret?...

Thanks for reminding me about this Diamanda. I had considered this but managed to concentrate on the whole he doesn't care about me thing and so i really forgot that he must have had enough love to try and work things out.

When I think about things in this way there is still a twinkling of hope and yes I'm a hopeless romantic like you too! I find myself asking then what the point of this falling out is?..You've given me another good idea about what to ask iching


gene I didn't think of this at all when I read the meaning of hexagram 38..it just felt like this situation was a bit too complex for for friends/family to understand and help but that is a good point..

I'm still a little bit unsure as to what the specific changes in this hexagram is trying to tell me.

 

[diamanda]

I was thinking about your answer... and i kept wondering if
there is a secondary meaning - that he met a very good
friend of his, accidentally, somewhere, and this friend sort
of talked to him and had a big effect on his decision? Just
a thought... You can actually read this answer both ways.

I am certain, though, about him having told you the truth.
Now if there's extra info, in the answer, that a "like-minded"
friend of his had some influence, this we can't be sure of.
I have often found the I Ching does tell you things you ought
to know, even if you're not directly ask for them. I wonder
if this is one of those cases. It's really sad and unfair that
he decided to 'see' things in such a narrow-minded way...

 

[memobook]

I sort of get where your coming from with that point. It could really be looked at in a different way. Having said that though, I am quite sure there was no other friend that could have influenced things considering that he is very private about his personal life..

Is a "friend" in this case just a friend or it could be a family member? If it could mean a family member that explains it a lot better? Still can't connect fully with this answer..perhaps I should ask another question.

 

[goddessliss]

What was the outcome of all this?