Hello, I'd really appreciate your help on this, thank you in advance. :bows:
I was rewriting my hand written notes from my I Ching readings into the computer and realized my readings often change in the same hexagrams – 19 and 33. I'd need to understand them better, I think.

I keep getting 19 Approach, especially when asking about 'finding a girlfriend/friends' type of questions. (For example I got 26.3.6>19, 60.5>19, 61.5.6>19, etc.)
I see 19 as a good approach that leads to a successful connection especially when one is active and not just waiting for things to happen which could mean in this case to search for ways how and where to meet someone.

I additionally asked: What does the repeating 19 mean? I got 54.1>40.
I also asked what that 'misfortune in the 8th month' means for me and got 42.3>37.
42.3 says you benefit from someone else's misfortune but I don't think that those readings make much sense to me though.

Then I keep getting more often 33 Retreat, especially when I ask 'how can I change my life for the better/improve health' type of questions. (For example I got 15.4.5.6>33, 50.2.5>33, 53.4>33, etc.)
I've been rather stressed for the last years which didn't help my health condition either. I'm not sure but I think that Yi might advise me to retreat from stressing and worrying too much, maybe?

I additionally asked: What does the repeating 33 mean? I got 19.1.3>46. (19 again!).
19.1 suggests cooperating with others and 19.3 warns from becoming careless and over confident and advises not to waste resources I have. I'm not sure how that relate to Retreat hexagram. Should I retreat from spending too much alone time and stop wasting my energy on worrying too much?
Thank you for reading.

I was thinking about the additional readings and wonder if the 42.3 could be me coming out to my boyfriend.

42.3 Benefiting by making use of something that is unfortunate for someone else. There is nothing wrong with this if one is open and honorable about it. One can confidently go for it.

I could see the unfortunate for someone else of 42.3 to be related to my boyfriend who's going to be hurt by me telling him about my same sex attraction. On the other hand to tell him is the right thing to do so it's without fault.
37 could speak about the necessity to set new rules and reorganize our places in the current “family”. It could also be about me finding a group of people, or a place where I'd fit in and feel comfortable (it could be within the LGBT community because I feel lonely and like no one can understand what I've been going through).
I wonder if the “misfortune” will happen during August/September or not. Berkers' explanation says it's not beneficial to approach someone prematurely (he says the eight month refers to premature birth of a baby). Me coming out could be somewhat premature, I don't feel to be 100% ready (I don't know if I'd ever be though), but I feel so stuck and like suffocating (it's been really affecting my health) that I can't postpone it much longer.

I asked if I should tell him in August and got 18 unchanging that I understand as an opportunity to deal with the mess and find a way forward so I take it as a yes.

I didn't find any good explanation that would help me to understand 54.1 line more. I'm definitely in a subordinate position without much control, but I kind of like the related hexagram. It'd definitely be a release (40) for me to be finally able to tell him.
Wish me luck. :bows:

I liked your 54.1>40 as a summation of the 19. many people here, including me, I found the relating hex be oftentimes the context of the issue.. so makes sense the 54.1 , as been in a new situation and try to under-stand and organize it.

I'm inclined to see 42.3 as referring to your losses and gains. You might hurt him, or face the disapproval of some of your acquaintance but Yi says "no blame"... I have a friend that goes through a similar situation -exploring her preference for same sex relationships- so maybe our discussion about her losses has influence my interpretation.

Premature, in your case could be indicate that you need some time to found your place so keep things a bit open towards one or another direction.

Kafuka, yesterday looking at your reading everything was so clear but didn't have the time and then computer to respond. Today your new post has create a big confusion in my mind- hence my brilliant post. I wonder from where this confusion comes and how suddenly every reading revolves around your current boyfriend.

Sorry for not being able to help more, but I do wish you good luck and choose what makes you happy.

Since 19 and 33 are both tidal hexagrams this might help on relating to these hexagrams on a practical level:
http://phoenixqi.blogspot.ie/2008/02/i-ching-yijing-throughout-year-tidal.html

And something more theoretical on 33, with a spiritual-health focus:
http://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&q=heiner+fruehauf+aging&btnG=&as_sdt=1,5&as_sdtp=
http://www.classicalchinesemedicine.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/fruehauf_aging.pdf

Thank you, anemos for your post. Well, confusion has been my middle name lately so I'm not surprised you find the reading unclear. I went through a very unpleasant period when depression took over my life. I'm better now but still feel like being in a vicious circle because I'd probably need some real same sex experience to be more sure about things on one hand, but on the other hand I have a bf who I don't want to cheat on.

I don't have a clear idea what should I do. I asked if I should leave him to be with a woman and got 50.5.6>28.
I don't have much experience with any of those hexagrams. 50 sounds spiritual, the changing lines seem to be auspicious though, but 28 is somewhat scary (maybe it describes the current situation?). I asked the same question a week later and got 37 unchanging. I seem to be in a 19-33-37 triangle!!!
I was thinking if the 19 hexagram couldn't be some kind of a requirement. Like Yi telling me "you may ask if you find a gf hundred times but you know that you need to deal with 19 first, right?"

Thank you peterg for the links. I didn't have time to read everything yet but I study TCM so I'll surely find it helpful. What I realized is that 33 is a reversed hexagram of 19. 2 yin lines, 4 yang lines vs. 2 yang lines, 4 yin lines. July vs. January. Time for meditation vs. time to be active. That's interesting.

probably yes, 28 depicts your current situation and fits well with 19's and 33's. Well, it is a very confusing situation especially when you have no real experience on a same sex relationship and can't tell if its what you really want or not.And , of course, is that sex vs gender ideas and how our "identity" is strongly attached and defined by either sex or gender. Biologically the categories male/female its not clear cut and the same re masculinity/ femininity

You seem to care for your BF and hope he feels the same. In your 50.5.6 reading what popped out is the difference b/w hard cold and the mildness of jade... I can't read a yes or not.. although he needs to be told when the time is right... Maybe those lines are the remedy of the overwhelming h28 situation a message I can see, on way or another in all your readings.

sometimes when we have difficulties to leave someone /something what lays beneath is our fear... it's a generalization but sometimes hold lots of true.... Maybe you can find some people that you can speak open about all your concerns and clear your confusions.

I hope I didn't confuse you more
good luck

Hi Kafuka

I think your interpretations have been logical and applicable, as well as has Anemos'.

Two thoughts to offer. One, 19 has more than one connotation, but one that sometimes helps me is to see a mother looking into her crib at her child, because the trigrams are earth (mother) above lake (young daughter). So not only is there an overseeing element but a maternal one. This is you overlooking that young girl in you. The trigram Dui is a young and fertile lake; old lakes lose their fertility, fallen trees and plant life either dissolve or rot away, and the water becomes acidic. In Dui is the idea of exchange, because so many elements "talk to one another", intermingle, life is propagating. A young girl has many emotions, joy, melancholy, he loves me, he loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not, who is my favorite friend, am I popular enough, etc. etc. But you are also the mother in this image, you are the overseer, so these are things you must decide, or help the young girl to decide. I'm not convinced this has yet been decided within you. I don't know your age, but if you are young, it's not unusual to have confused feelings regarding sexuality. I would not leave Dr. Freud out of this equation. Maybe your same sex attraction is purely biological, or maybe there are early psychological roots involved. If you join a lesbian group, you will receive understanding and support for sure, but it is likely to seal the deal for you, so to speak. Is this the mother you want to have overseeing you? Maybe it's premature?

I agree with your assessment of 33. This is traumatizing you, maybe even paralyzing you, and taking some steps backward to allow these mixed emotions to settle awhile does seem wise. And I agree with Anemos that your boyfriend seems to still be resurfacing from this lake. Maybe just enjoy being a lake awhile without needing to reach final conclusions? Give a chance for these elements to find their place. A candid talk with your boyfriend about your feelings seems like a better choice than breaking off with him entirely because you're coming out. If you come out, that doesn't have to mean you are all this or all that. If he isn't understanding and willing to stand by you, well that tells you something. And if he does stand by you, that tells you something also. Lesbians do have boyfriends, gay guys do have girlfriends. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, at least not yet while you are still undecided within.

Your 37.1 reading makes sense in this context. Your family must be set in order before it evolves, lest it mutate into something not yourself (54).

Retreat is wise. Overseeing the young girl is wise. Allowing the young girl (lake) to be a young girl is also wise. Go easy on her, mom, but be there with a guiding hand. These are formative years. The eighth month in 19 indicates that the work to be done has a time frame to be completed. It doesn't mean you must know absolutely by tomorrow, but for your own peace of mind, you must know by harvest time.

Good luck, and love who you are no matter what your sexual preference evolves to become, as the earth embraces her young lake.

Anemos and sooo, thank to both of you.
It's so hard to start that conversation because I don't want to hurt him, or anyone else in the process. I definitely need to talk to him, the sooner the better, because I got to the point when sex with him is a real struggle. Btw, I'm in my mid-thirties.
One interesting thing. It's been happening to me often lately, and it's been kinda bothering me, that when I check what time is it (and it's not that I check it often) I see the same hour and minutes number, e.g. 13:13. I asked why? today and bingo... I got 19.4>54.
P.S. It happened again... 22:22.

Oops, double post.

Btw I'm leaving for two days and asked Yi to get some advice for the trip. Do you know what I got? 19 unchanging!

kafuka said:

One interesting thing. It's been happening to me often lately, and it's been kinda bothering me, that when I check what time is it (and it's not that I check it often) I see the same hour and minutes number, e.g. 13:13. I asked why? today and bingo... I got 19.4>54.
P.S. It happened again... 22:22.

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Just for laughs, i have a theory ( ) for that. Need answers and seek for signs to give hints... The symmetry of the time for secs gives a sight of relief

kafuka said:

It's so hard to start that conversation because I don't want to hurt him, or anyone else in the process.
.

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Maybe it helps to think that you can't complete avoid that. our decisions have the potential to hurt- unintentionally- some and we might be hurt from other's decisions - its reality.

kafuka said:

Btw I'm leaving for two days and asked Yi to get some advice for the trip. Do you know what I got? 19 unchanging!

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great answer !!! can't help but imagine taking the warm mother-daughter visual sooo offered

Enjoy yourselves

Thanks, anemos. Maybe the time symmetry is supposed to remind me of some kind of balance, staying in the center, between 19 and 33. 19 is time to approach, to be active, while 33 is time to retreat, to stay away. Being too active and thinking about it 24/7 made me depressed, it's obviously not a good way. On the other hand, being too passive is not a good way either because not dealing with the problem won't lead to solving it. I'd rather face the problem without too much excess and too much passivity. It may be stupid to make such a connection but I like the sound of it, haha. Btw today I saw 09:09, 16:16 and 19:19.

Kafuka, in case you haven't yet left, I think "approach" can be an applicable word, but I wouldn't limit 19's meaning to that word. If I had to choose just one word I'd call it "oversee". Only you can call the shots on who you are and what your preferences may be.

Thank you, sooo. Could you, please, explain the oversee word in more detail? It's not just watching and waiting for the solution to appear, right?

kafuka said:

It's not just watching and waiting for the solution to appear, right?

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No, just the opposite. You are overseeing the goings on. I use trigrams a lot to help visualize the dynamics, and my earlier example of earth above, overseeing the young lake, both are considered feminine trigrams. Tenderness is implied.

Another analogy that is used is that of a crop field, and unless the ground is tilled, seeds planted and fields tended, in short if the work isn't done, then by the eighth month, there will be misfortune, i.e. no harvest. So there is a time frame allotted for the work to be done. This is both good news and bad, depending on whether your oversight, taking control you could say, has been executed. Responsibility could also be used.

This is a corollary to your earlier 37.1, where your inner family must be set in order before it begins to grow because it will grow in the order that it set offs in.

Not simply watching and waiting. It's your life being spoken of here, so it's up to you to oversee it, no one else's.

Yay. I can use the 'thanks' button now!
My 2-day trip was great. I joined a family constellation session for the second time yesterday and it was absolutely amazing.
Btw my prediction for the next week is 19.2.5.6>42. Seeing 19 over and over used to make me somewhat uneasy but not anymore, it actually calms me down a little.ompom:

I feel privileged to receive your very first thank you. :bows:

It can be reassuring to have many repetitive hexagram readings, and 19 should empower you to take on specifics of your life.

It would be unmanly to join you with pom poms and a pink bow, besides, there's not much hair to pin it to, so I'll cheer with clapping. :claps:

kafuka said:

Yay. I can use the 'thanks' button now!
My 2-day trip was great. I joined a family constellation session for the second time yesterday and it was absolutely amazing.

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WOW !!! 19 for a constellation session ? ! Amazing answer! it looks like h37 would be more -literally appropriate- BUT 19 talks about the essence. Don't know how you have experience it; for me was intense but there was a profound feeling of tenderness and Yes, "overseeing" , to use sooo's, words. A subtle understanding.

Have you noticed the Unchanging hex threads. We share experiences so we can understand better hexes. In case you'ld like to share here is the H19 thread

sooo said:

It would be unmanly to join you with pom poms and a pink bow...

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Haha, yeah, but don't worry, in my lil world there's nothing like pink bow and pom poms to be considered unmanly. In my lil world we accept whatever expression one likes.

anemos said:

WOW !!! 19 for a constellation session ? ! Amazing answer! it looks like h37 would be more -literally appropriate- BUT 19 talks about the essence.

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The advice for the constellation session was 13.1.2.5> 50. It's an amazing answer, I think.

anemos said:

In your 50.5.6 reading what popped out is the difference b/w hard cold and the mildness of jade... I can't read a yes or not..

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I was thinking about it a little more and after reading about the symbolism of jade it somehow evokes in me a beautiful woman. It seems to me that Yi is just showing me the situation; telling me there are two option to choose from: 50.5 The cauldron has yellow handles, golden carrying rings. Perseverance furthers. - MAN, or 50.6 The cauldron has rings of jade. Great good fortune. Nothing that would not act to further. - WOMAN.