I have a friend that is in love with me, he is very kind and he repeats all the time that he wants to be with me for ever and that he loves me. I wanted to give us an opportunity at a certain point, but after his insistence I don't want to do it anymore, I have the feeling that he doesn't listen to me, because i have told him from the beginning that i don't know what I want and that I don't love him romantically, but he continues telling me about his feelings and expectations of a relationship with me. I don't want to hurt him, because he is nice, then I asked Yi, what should I do with him? and he answered 17 unchanged, i feel so confused!! is Yi telling me to follow my feelings or to follow him?

Then I ask Yi, how can I tell him NO without hurting him and Yi answered 36.3>24 is he telling me that doesn't matter what I try I'm gonna hurt him?

I don't know about the reading, but I suggest you be fair to yourself and him.

You say you don't want to hurt him, but how much will it hurt him if you allow him to follow you like a lost puppy while you "don't know what you want" until he finally realizes how much time he has wasted on someone who doesn't return his feelings...

The point is, you are already telling him no, and already rejecting his feelings, even if not directly or verbally.

Do him a favor. If he is really such a nice guy, part ways with him so he can find someone who wants to be with a nice guy.

I agree with kinkadefoster to a degree.

If he's such a nice guy, wouldn't he respect your feelings or lack thereof for him? He should know better that pressuring you is not going to make you magically fall in love with him. Besides, you already know you're not willing to go into a onesided relationship. Your resulting hexagram of 24 is telling you to return to yourself and what you believe in.

I say worry less about hurting his feelings because he's not listening to you tell him you don't like him in that way.

36.3 mentions that there is no real easy way to put an end to this, but if you aren't hasty, you'll succeed

Hi luigirouge,

I think that 36.3>24 is telling you that , because this situation has been going on for quite a while, you should not expect him to take your NO instantly, the penny might not drop straight away. He has somehow become used to repeating this "I love you" thing to you, so you have to understand that and don't go over the top. But I believe that your reading is saying that you should just do it. :bows:

One of the situations !7. Flowing refers to is situations where one is not just going with the flow but going after something too vigorously which is a mistake. Thus you are being supported here in your feeling that your friend's vigorous pursuit is inappropriate.

17. Following can also be telling you that you don't have to "do" anything about him - in fact Hilary says 17 can mean "Give it a rest!" so don't go out of your way - out of your flow to be with him or accommodate him.

As to how to deal with him with out hurting him first I want to just comment myself that it's very typical for woman, being as how we are raised to be caregivers, to think we are somehow obligated to protect the other person's feelings, ever to the detriment of our own. So I suggest you first do some thinking to strengthen your awareness that you don't owe him anything. After all, if you went into a jewelry store and asked the owner to give you a diamond necklace just because you loved it so much, would he give it to you? Of course not! They might say they are pleased you like it though, still they would feel no obligation to give it to you. Likewise, you can tell your friend "Thank you" but you don't need to feel any obligation to return the complement or say things you don't mean. Be like Betty Davis, the movie star who once was driving down Hollywood Blvd. in a convertible when a fan called out, "I love you Miss Davis!" She called back, "Of course you of, my dear, of course you do!"

36.3 -24 Darkening of the Light suggests to me that you should not let him continue to talk to you about his feelings. He may seem to be a "Nice man" but to tell you how he feels towards you when you have told him that sort of talk makes you uncomfortable is not nice, it's self-centered and pushy!

Line 3 says this could be complicated because you've let him get away with sweet talk for a while which of course implied that you weren't completely sure you wouldn't eventually come to enjoy it and to agree with - Follow! - him. However line 3 says that as you continue to focus on your goal, being just friends, opportunities will come along naturally that will enable you to set things right.

24.Return is saying that you'd like things to Return to normal. Maybe you enjoy this man as a friend and would like the relationship between the two of you to be normal rather than ending or if it must end at least not be ending on an angry note.

Rosada

Any updates ? What happened ? How did the cast play out ?

Dear All,

I told him I did not want him to continue talking about love towards me, I was very sincere. Probably he was hurt, because he never talked to me anymore, i'm sorry about this. At the end, we were not real friends.