January 22nd, 2007, 07:06 PM
no, I mostly live in London and marriage counselors are a common thing here. Frankly, I just don't think they may help a great deal. I had an experince with psychologists two years ago and I have to admit that although they really tried to help me it didn't work that well. The problem that you're having will only go away when you're ready to accept the reality in its fullness. Like I said it hurts, but on the flipside you're becoming more mature, you're stepping to yourself and that's your reward.
Also, I do appreciate everyone's help and sympathy. Again, I'm really sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings. I need to be more reserved I guess.
January 23rd, 2007, 06:22 AM
More reserved? Oh not, not at all! The opposite. More forthcoming! There's a saying in America, "Don't go to bed angry," meaning kiss and make up before you go to sleep. But there's newer version of this idea that says, "Don't go to bed angry, stay up and fight!" It means, don't go to bed angry, but don't just stuff your feelings. Keep talking till you get things ironed out.
I felt very uneasy doing this reading because I felt I was aiding and abetting you doing something behind your wife's back. I suspect that was a biggie for others too. Yet your first hexagram, 54.1, literally said the wife knows about the concubine (In Wilhelm anyway), and now it turns out this fits, that you had told your wife about the phone call. But we didn't recognize this right off and thus all the back and forth discussion. So you see, it wasn't that you should not have been more reserved, but rather to recognize that there maybe need for clarification, and to be confortable hearing all the feedback even though it might have been off center because this gives you guidance as to where there was the miscommunication and then you can clear it up. It would have been very unusual if we would have all understood your situation right off the bat!
Of course, perhaps ultimately it is not necessary or even desirable for The Reader to know the finer details of a situation, but few of us are at that lofty peak yet ;-)
January 24th, 2007, 10:23 PM
Originally Posted by trojan