I'm fresh out of "the" relationship, I'm in recovery and new at experiencing life alone. But things aren't necessarily that bad now, I had a lot to learn from it, I feel like a completely different person and I honestly thank God I met this guy, even though things didn't work out between us.

I asked what do I need to know now regarding my relationship with A, I got 32, no changing lines. Beautiful

I don't know how to understand it, should I only look at this regarding my future in general, is there more to think about regarding "the" boy?
Help.. please?

Thanks.

That your relationship with A will remain the same, nothing will change, ie you will remain separated.

Continue as you are

Whatever you are now doing, continue the same way.

Hi Heymau

your post has sent me off into little ripples of nostalgia! 32 was the first ever hex that taught me something about the ching by direct long term experience (although it meant little to me at the time).

2 caveats before I explain: many times 32 means enduring in how it is now or finding what endures, secondly when I received it while in a similar position to you and with similar thoughts about the boy (I learnt so much from being with him, he changed my life/view of the world - without trying to, I had no regrets - although I was heartbroken at the time), I had little idea about the ching and meanwhile other massive things were going on in my life so receiving this hex didn't give me any 'hope' and I didn't dwell on it and I give thanks for that.

This happened more than 25 years ago and I can tell you he is still in my life and indeed he has invited me to his wedding next year. In between we have passed through many variations - returning to each other as lovers several times, the raising of our kids alongside each other (we both had one each when we met), he was the first person to come and see my 2nd child at birth, and I have known all his girlfriends. Years after the first split we acknowledged that we had both learned so much from each other although it has not been without pain on both sides at times.

I have to say that despite this profound connection we both got on with our individual lives, at times in different countries, but for me he has been like the base line in a reggae tune - constantly there beneath the melody of my life. Although we don't write letters or phone or do any of the conventional things to maintain relations.

The man concerned is mostly a law unto himself but he knew himself at a young age and a person who really knows themselves and has the capacity for honesty is a wonderful and very rare thing. When we were kids he told me that the relation would only ever end if I ended it and he wasn't being romantic it was a bald statement of fact.

Every few years I would rediscover the hex (I'd written it inside a book cover) but it only clicked with me many many years later.

But I hesitated before I answered you because I don't want you to think that my experience is a definitive meaning of hex 32 and therefore it will be the same for you.

Maybe what really endures for me in relation to this guy is the way having him in my life helped me define so many important and lasting ideas about myself in the world and how I wanted to be in the world.

Our kids are now older than we were when we met and meanwhile I guess it's an ongoing story how 32 no?

So there you go what can I say? Go forth bravely into your own life and carry with you the good things the relationship gave you then it truely endures no?

best wishes lucia

I have seen this hex somewhere else on this forum, and it received the same advice, the relationship will continue in it's present state (separated) or keep doing what you are doing right now. I don't feel that way.

Lucia's experience is a good example, i believe. If the I Ching would have wanted to show you a parting of ways, or something like that, it would have done so. There are other Hexagrams that show you going in different directions, starting different lives altogether. This is different. This shows duration. The trigrams are working together, you have Sun, eldest daughter and Chen, eldest son. They are both wood elements, and lines correspond. This should not be neglected

Thank you all for your replies!

Lucia, thank you for sharing your life story with me. My best friend's influence in my life is similar (a guy, friends since we were kids, surfed through the romantic stage, didn't work and almost destroyed the friendship, but we survived), we don't have families yet, but I surely hope we'll be able to spend our best moments together.

A's been the person who changed everything for me, I'm not sure he truly understands how but it's enough for me to know and be thankful for it.

32 is a very inspiring hexagram for me, especially at this time. A's been the one who introduced me to IC and he's been telling me how important it would be for me to invest some time with it right now, ask about my situation and what must I do to put my life in order.

I've always felt- no matter how tough the situation was- that we had/have a connection beyond space and time; I know it sounds too sweet, but that's how I feel And hey, we don't even talk right now (it's still very hard for me), but that isn't changing my feelings...

So Lucia, I'm very happy for you, I hope you will always be there for each other. In my case, regarding A, only time will tell. 32 is telling me to be constant, regular and stable, things I haven't been good at in the past.

Thank you for your kind words.
Best wishes,
M.

Hi Kit,

I didn't see your post while I was replying. Thank you for answer.

I don't feel like parting ways either, but things aren't that easy right now, and since we're talking about duration, it's a process and time is of the essence. None of the questions I asked so far about A showed splitting paths forever, I don't feel a bad vibe; there are things I need to let go, he needs time to get his stuff together and maybe someday we'll be able to connect on a different level.

M.

kitsune said:

I have seen this hex somewhere else on this forum, and it received the same advice, the relationship will continue in it's present state (separated) or keep doing what you are doing right now. I don't feel that way.

Click to expand...

Then we will all have to wait and see if you and your "feelings" are right and they get married or something. Perhaps next time when you see something on the forum you would be polite enough to say where you saw it or do some of us now lack names? Not worthy of your notice even?

Wow, Willowfox. You react pretty aggressive sometimes.

Waiting for confirmation, isn't that how you can verify your readings? By waiting for things to happen? And judging by Lucia's experience, 32 isn't a parting ways hexagram It doesn't have to be about marriage either. You know, people don't pick on your readings, but you pick on them. Why is that?

And i didn't mean to be impolite, i didn't even know it was impolite to say what i said.
"or do some of us now lack names?" it's clear that you feel personally offended by what i said

i don't remember where i read it, i read a lot of old posts, it could be on a reading about 32, duration. I won't take this any further.

"Not worthy of your notice even? " ... no comment

Sorry heymau, for all this

"I don't think it's about marriage either, thank you. Nor any other connection anymore.
Drop what I'm doing, yes; dropped everything, he's no longer part of my life as far as I'm concerned.
I won't ask this question again; the answer I got back regarding the present situation was clear and my future does not include him".

I just noticed that you already answered this question about hex 32 a week ago and the answer was very clear to you at least, now you have someone seemingly telling you that your answer and you were wrong and they are suggesting what, that you will get back together again? That hex 32 doesn't mean that things will stay as they are, it no longer means duration, you know like being separated.

I'm sure everyone meant well Willowfox, thank you for your contribution.

Take it easy guys...

kitsune said:

i don't remember where i read it,

Click to expand...

Not even when you read it on this page, well your answer sounds about right.

willowfox said:

"I don't think it's about marriage either, thank you. Nor any other connection anymore.
Drop what I'm doing, yes; dropped everything, he's no longer part of my life as far as I'm concerned.
I won't ask this question again; the answer I got back regarding the present situation was clear and my future does not include him".

I just noticed that you already answered this question about hex 32 a week ago and the answer was very clear to you at least, now you have someone seemingly telling you that your answer and you were wrong and they are suggesting what, that you will get back together again? That hex 32 doesn't mean that things will stay as they are, it no longer means duration, you know like being separated.

Click to expand...

Sorry, I don't understand. The hex we talked about a week ago was no 2; my situation hasn't changed since, there are no clues with regards to a reconciliation. When I started the thread reg Hex 32, I didn't get my hopes high thinking about getting back together and I explained my feelings towards him.

I needed to clear things about 32 because I didn't understand this "the Way of the husband and wife must last to the end"; I'm just a beginner, so things aren't that clear for me and I tend to interpret things based on my situation/feelings/etc.

I will not blame anyone for telling me their opinion, which in the end might prove wrong. We are all capable of mistakes and since here everyone interprets the text the best they can, we should respect all the answers. I hope I can tell you how things went in a couple of years

Peace?

Wasn't that about Army changing to Receptive? I don't see 32 in that post

I should probably know better than to chuck in my 2 pesetas but what the hell....

I am one of the people (in my previous post in this thread) who said that sometimes 32 can mean enduring in what is now ie if you are apart you stay that way. And if you look at previous posts on the subject you will find that as a written (and valid) response in many of them - don't think we need to name all the names on the replies no?

I am also aware that in this wonderful forum you get all kinds of people and situations and some of them are desperately seeking something - a la Mills and Boon - hearts flowers and happily ever after. That is why I added my caveats.

When I drew 32 in the story above we were most definitely not together. His stated aim in life at that time was polygamy and I decided I didn't want to/couldn't play anymore. He was seeing another woman and we spoke about 10 words in the next 3 or 4 years.

But we did get back together - he came back, dumped all women and told me I was "the one" and that this time we would do it 'properly'. What followed I ain't telling in a forum but suffice it to say that it was the biggest, hardest lesson in my life about self-undoing - me, yo, I mucked it up!

He has remained in my life as I said, and we have even returned to the relationship as lovers a couple more times but it ain't mills and boon. I don't feel we have some great connection or anything like that - it simply just is. That's why I used the analogy of a reggae base line - it drives along under the song but if you know anything about reggae you will know that it is contra tiempo - ie it doesn't follow the conventional anglo-european beat it works on missed beats.

No other man could reach the place in me that he could and he has in the past said the same. In many ways (but not all) we are very different - he has no interest in the ching for example and would probably think I was mad to be into it!! I can write this highly edited story in full confidence that he would never read it here.

Apart from the duration of our relationship in various permutations what has endured is what I said in my first post - the things I learned about myself and how I wanted to live in this world - partly because he had a different cultural background to me and being a law unto himself lived his life differently - his way of being in the world challenged things in me I was open to having challenged.

I offered this up as a kind of case study, a view from the past 'cos most often people here do not (despite saying they will) return and share the outcomes. (well, would you come back 6 months or a year later and say oh dear it all went tits up and now I hate him or her??)

What I see, (and maybe I'm being provoccative here dunno....) is we all - me included - read things in terms of our own conventions - hence 'marriage' as one of several descriptive words used for hex 32 is seen a la MIlls and Boon - happily ever after with the object of your fascination. What I attempted to illustrate (and it's difficult 'cos its personal and I don't want to bare all) is perhaps that enduring can be something more profound than the 'conventional'.

Now, depending on what point you had asked me in the past you would have had a different reaction to my getting hex 32. If you'd asked me in those first few years after our first split you would probably have seen it as me being hung-up, holding on to the past or whatever and that what was enduring was the fact that it was over. Ask me a few years later and you get a different view (that's why i ching journals are so valuable no?)

The ching, of course, doesn't come with an insurance policy or a money back guarantee it's the book of changes no? So my (now rather long winded) tale has a health warning on the packet and 6 let-out clauses

Meanwhile I get the feeling that Heymau while acknowledging that she's got a way to go in 'recovery' is sensible enough not to mills and boon hex 32 despite my tale.

So my 2 pesetas - this is why the ching is not a future telling tool - it most definitely does give us little peeks and help and advice if we listen and if we can understand but we get there most of the time it seems by working with it - by reflection and mulling it over and now in the digital age with the various and often varied inputs of this great forum.

Lucia

Heymau, from all of the above, I conclude that your interpretation:
("I don't feel like parting ways either, but things aren't that easy right now, and since we're talking about duration, it's a process and time is of the essence. None of the questions I asked so far about A showed splitting paths forever, I don't feel a bad vibe; there are things I need to let go, he needs time to get his stuff together and maybe someday we'll be able to connect on a different level.")
is the best one at the end of the day.
I see hex. 32 as cycles beginning and ending, then again beginning and ending, endlessly.
Don't you think that it might show that between you and A there will always be a link, a strong relationship, as it is now, sometimes apart, sometimes together. Then again and again. It seems to be your Tao.
All the best.

Lucia,

Thank you again for sharing with us. Yes, it's a valuable example and I do hope I'll come back with a sequel to my story.

I meant to elaborate more on my relationship, but there is no point in going back, the most important things were already said in my previous reply to you

At this moment, I really don't know what to wish for anymore. But maybe when I read 32 for the first time, my attention was drawn by the things which used to highlight part of my life and wishes for the future. That is why I needed clarifying, as a "cool down" reaction

All I understand now is the importance of the newly discovered things I have to value from now on. And maybe learning the hard way wasn't so bad either.

Mary f,

Time will tell..; and I hope I will have something to tell

All the best to both of you.

I wonder how things turned out... ?