So, this morning I asked: How does he feel about me at this point?

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And there’s,
‘How does he feel about me?’
with its friends, ‘Why is he doing this? What did he mean by that? And why isn’t he calling me?’

This is a radically unhelpful question in a whole lot of ways.

Does he want you to know the answer to this? And if he doesn’t, is it at all reasonable to expect Yi to help you to spy on his inner life?

If you can in fact spy on his inner life, and he’s confused and his feelings keep changing, all this is going to show in the reading. It is not going to be easy to understand. Also, it is not necessarily going to be true tomorrow.

It is hugely, terrifyingly hard to interpret these readings objectively. It’s excruciatingly easy to respond instead by building a fantasy relationship-castle out of a string of readings, with each question based on a misinterpretation of the reading before. What you end up with has nothing to do with the reality – and yet it is strangely addictive. It’s always easier to ask another question – fitting the curtains and carpets in your imaginary castle – rather than actually going and talking to the man himself.

And on that subject – substituting readings for communication does not make for a good relationship. If you’re in a relationship with someone and can’t ask what they mean or how they feel, then a better question to ask might be ‘What can I do to help us to communicate better?’

Come to that… substituting obsessive speculation about what he feels for becoming conscious of your own present desires and choices? “If I knew what he felt, I’d know what I can safely let myself feel”? Also doesn’t tend to work. If only.

And finally, it’s surprisingly hard to ask a clear, unambiguous question about this. For instance, is ‘how does he feel about me?’ meant to give you a picture of his emotional state? Or of how you appear when seen through his eyes? This is not something you want to be trying to work out after casting the reading, believe me.

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zebrelle said:

Hi,

I want to thank you all for your help. I agree I probably asked too many questions.

I also want to say that I personally wanted to take things slow with him and actually did. He was the one who took things fast. He was the one who wanted to see me four days in a row. He was the one who initiated the contact most of the time. He was the one who told me to call him whenever I felt like it. He was the one who wanted to be officially with me after only a few days. I didn't push him because I was interested. I didn't post the whole story, but I really was carefully to not go too fast. However, he wanted it to go fast and I followed. He told me multiple times that he was really interested in me and that he was really happy he had met me. I only opened up my heart to him once I knew for sure he was interested.

Last Wednesday, we saw each other. That was the first time in five days. As soon as I got in the car, I could see there was something going on. He wasn’t affectionate at all. He didn’t give me any kiss or hug. But I wanted to spend a nice evening so I didn’t make a big deal out of it and I smiled. We actually had fun… until we went to grab a coffee. He said: “We won’t be seeing a lot in the next 2 weeks.” I said: “What does that mean?” He said: “What do you mean?” I said: “Ok… I really need to ask you something. I have had this bad feeling since Friday. Are you having second thoughts about us?” He said: “Yes, you are right. I don’t think I’m ready. I stopped talking to my ex only 3 weeks ago and I don’t want her back, but I still think about her a lot.” He added: “I’m sorry. It’s the timing. I’m sure the two of us it would have worked out.” He added: “Everything I told you was true.” I said: “It’s okay… I knew. I could feel it.” He said: “How can you know?” I said: “I just knew deep inside. That’s all. Plus, when you are really interested in someone, you make some effort to spend time with them.” He said: “I was really busy the last few days, but I understand what you mean.” I said: “I’m sure if you meet someone you are really interested in, you would feel ready.” He said: “It’s not true. I’m just not ready.” I said: “Why were you on a dating Website then?” He said: “I really thought I was ready.” I said: “It’s evident that you do not have the time in your life for me right now.” He said: “Not like you would want to me to.” I said: “I didn’t want to see you all the time. I wanted to see you maybe one time during the week or the weekend. I agree things went too fast and that’s not necessarily what I wanted. I wanted things to go slower.” I said: “Well, when you come back from your trip, call me if you feel like it and I’ll see how I feel about it.” He said: “But I know I’ll want to call you!!! I still want to see you.” I said: “I don’t know if I can. I’m afraid I’ll get attach even more.” He said: “I understand.” I said: “What do you mean you still want to see me anyways? You mean casually see each other?” He said: “We can still go see movies or go see shows together, just like we did.” I said: “I can’t be friends with you. What if want more?” He said: “If find you attractive. It won’t turn you down, but that’s not what I necessarily want.” He added: “I liked what you told me before we went for our second date, that we should just go with the flow and do whatever feels right at the moment.” He also said I could call him, even while he’s gone. So, we went to his place. He was affectionate with me again. In the car, he put his hand on my leg and took my hand all along until we were at his place. He even kissed my hand. Then, at his place, he was kissing me and hugging me. We cuddled. He showed me his new camera that he bought for his trip. He took a picture of me with it. Of course, we got intimate as well. But it wasn’t just about that. As I mentioned, he kept kissing me and hugging me and cuddling, even after we got intimate. I was stupid and said I wanted to stay for the night. He said he didn’t think he was a good idea. He said he really wanted to, but to remember that we just said we wanted to take things slow. I think it’s true because when he got in the car, he asked me what I was planning to do if I slept as his place, like he was having second thoughts about it. But anyways… Then, in his car, again he held my hand all along until I got home. He kissed my hand again. Then, we said goodbye. Kissed and hugged tenderly. And I felt okay at first, but when I woke up at 2:00 AM, I felt like I was going to die. It just hit me.

So, this morning I asked: How does he feel about me at this point? He was away on a road trip. I'm not sure if he's back yet. If not, he'll be back tomorrow for sure.

I got 27.6 > 24

Am I wrong again to think this is kind of good?

Thanks!

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