There are days when I think I am making progress and other days it is like Yi is speaking Greek.

I asked previously if X and I would get back together? 2

Earlier today asked what does the rest of the year look like for me? 41.3 to 26

I have been thinking about the receptive answer for a couple of days, but just wasn't grasping it, so I asked what do I need to be receptive to? 41

Decrease of what? 14.2.3 to 21

I know that 2 is receptive, allowing yourself to be led. I know that 41.3 is finding a friend or leaving a group, but I was not sure what 26 meant in this context. I think 14.2.3 is about being yourself and giving of yourself, but not sure and 21 is about working through things, but not sure how that answers the question. I know I am probably being really obtuse here, but I think I'm missing something.

Hi Seeker-
This is not intended to offend you, but it is frank.
I'm going to suggest that you only ask only one question at a time, and stay focused on the Yi's response until you figure it out, instead of asking several more to clarify, which only seems to be confusing you.
And make a real, concerted, and patient effort to grasp the first response, including looking up the commentary in a number of different sources. I think what you are missing most is the ability to be still and learn from the Yi.

Seeker, I think 41.3 to 26 makes a lot of sense in the context of your divorce. I think the 41 unchanging might tie in to the 41.3.

I think the 14.2.3 is a choice/distinction you have to make in your own attitude and behavior, I'd look at it that way if I received that reading (which I have in the past). Line 2 is good, line 3 is bad. Who would you be "looking upward to" too much?

BTW, if you look at the top line of 41, decrease eventually ends up well...

- Jeff

Brad...

"I think what you are missing most is the ability to be still and learn from the Yi."

Thank you for saying that. THAT is something that had to be said. That's what many people who try to divine miss. I miss it when I'm feeling too agitated about the situation, and I know it's necessary to simply be still and let the answer come to you rather than try to "think" the answer.

Seeker...

Your number was three and is now decreased to one... you. This is a wonderful opportunity to spend some time with you... love you... learn from you. And in the quietness of one you can hear the Yi... IF you listen. And IF you listen, the Yi will teach you much. It's an opportunity not many of us get. ENJOY!

Love,

Val

"I asked previously if X and I would get back together? 2"

The Yi's telling you to stop trying to lead and to follow instead and that this is a really good approach. I'd try it with both him and with the Yi.

"Earlier today asked what does the rest of the year look like for me? 41.3 to 26"

Things are going to fall into their proper places.

"I have been thinking about the receptive answer for a couple of days, but just wasn't grasping it, so I asked what do I need to be receptive to? 41"

You need to be diminish all these questions, I think. ;-)

"Decrease of what? 14.2.3 to 21 "

Now you're talking! Now you've got it! (That's what the Yi's saying.) By asking what you need to decrease or sacrifice, you can be carried along by the situation, plus attain in the direction of higher power.

Okay, you tell me. What do you need to let go of in this this? What do you need to sacrifice? But you can only tell me if you stick with the question in yourself long enough for an answer to arise. Keep your eyes open and you'll notice it when it does, too.

Hi Seeker,

I think 14 to 21 could be an advice to be with what is present in and around you (your treasures, 14) in this frustrating time (21) and not focus too much on what is absent now, what lacks.
The primary meaning of 41 is IMO not decrease or sacrifice but simply "giving".
When you feel rich it's easy and natural to give, so 14 and 41 combine quite well.

Appreciate all the comments and advice and I will think on it more when my head is clearer. I am currently involved in the program for emergency fs for hurricane victims. As the fraud investigator for our dept, my job, decreed by the Inspector General no less, is to try to prevent as much as possible from people defrauding the emergency program. Unfortunately, we had over 1100 applicants today, and our administrator was more interested in getting them in and out, so she tied my hands for a while. It took me four hours to get clearance and then we had to set up a whole different system for checking which involved me personally interviewing anyone whos application was questionable. I have 3 more days of this, joy.

In the meantime, my soon to be ex-husband called to tell me he got fired today for stealing. He, of course, denies it, but there have been numerous times when he had extra money that he claimed he got from tips or borrowed. Apparently his boss found receipts that weren't consecutive, there were numbers missing, so he checked old ones and found over 50 missing since April. Shows what an idiot my husband is; there is a reason they are numbered. Luckily it looks like he is going to settle for taking husbands final check and won't pursue pressing charges. Wouldn't that be wonderful to have to explain to my six year old, not to mention how embarrassing it would be for me, as mentioned above, I'm a fraud investigator.

One thing did occur to me in reading the posts. I think part of the problem is that I am just really lonely. Its not just not having someone to love and share my life with, but I don't have any friends here either. My husband moved us here a couple of years ago after his accident, ostensibly to be closer to his other children. I'm not very good at making friends, so the few that I had here were really my husbands friends and they don't want anything to do with me now. So, I feel very isolated and alone now. I think that is part of why I suddenly reverted to panic mode and started focusing on outcome and asking too many questions again. It makes me miss X even more. And after 2 failed marriages I guess I wonder if I will ever find what I'm looking for. Theres a line in the movie Practical Magic that says it best, something about wanting to see and be seen, wanting a love that even the universe itself will lie down and be still for.

Seeker, you sound like you're in a lot of pain right now. I'm so sorry.

This advice comes not from anything you've said about the Yi, but from my own life experience. It may not be popular advice, but I have a grown daughter and I'm used to giving unpopular advice. In fact, this is exactly what I told her recently when she told me just how chaotic her love life has been lately: Be alone for awhile. Spend some time by yourself, and some time being really present with your son. I would recommend 6 months to a year, anyway. You will be painfully lonely at times, but I promise it won't kill you. Think of it as a form of detox. It'll calm you down and give you a chance to understand what you want, how you've prevented yourself from getting it in the past, and how you're going to get it in the future.

I truly wish you the best.

Seeker,

Also sorry you feel so isolated.

I know one person's solution might not suit another but I wanted to share something I've been doing to try overcome my fear of emotional intimacy (which, of course, goes hand in hand with a strong need for it)

I've been part of a person centred personal development group for nearly a year. Basically four of us, and a counsellor chat for an hour and a half once a week about where we're at and how we are. The aim of the group- as with all Carl Rogers, person centred counselling is to create an atmosphere of warmth, empathy and acceptance which then allows someone to be themselves and grow (or grow into themselves). It has lots of affinities with Eastern and Buddhist thinking- and something about it leaps out as very "41".

It's not something I would have sought out myself I don't think, but was an offshoot of a counselling skills course I studied for- and has been absolutely fantastic in (beginning) to accept love.

Also- is 14, 3 about not being afraid to ask for help, possibly?

Blessings
Wolverine

"And after 2 failed marriages I guess I wonder if I will ever find what I'm looking for."

It ain't you; it's the culture. I wouldn't call it 'failed marriages' so much as 'abandoned marriages'. One of the partners, or both, decides to abandon the marriage, and that's so easy to do in modern western culture. In fact, there's a kind of 'if it ain't fun, head for the exits' mentality in a lot of modern behavior. But marriage isn't fun, it's a vow and a pressure cooker and a mirror for each of the participants. People go into it way too lightweight and leave it way too easy, cuz the culture moves along those lines right now, and people get chewed up as a result and feel lousy about themselves. But after getting burned a couple times, people also consider it more carefully the next time. But as soon as you, and the person you meet, say something like: "We gotta stick with it to get the juice out of it; it's endurance as much as love, sex and companionship; I'll do what I can to stay connected and committed and communicating" - then the chances of getting the juice are much higher.

Dobro, I like you more and more. But I will differ with you a little here.

We are social animals; and others of our kind are the center of our universe. We have a strong tendency, even a need, to pair-bond. When these bonds fail, we are cast into the nine circles of Hell--all nine and maybe more that Dante neglected to mention--cast, as I say, into at least nine circles of Hell. All at once. It's just the way we're made.

I'm not sure that it's "modern life," though, that puts us into this position, except as "modern life" means "longer life spans." In the West, we are approaching life spans twice as long as those of our great-great grandparents. I am not alone in wondering whether the natural life span of a pair-bond isn't a whole lot shorter than the life span that Westerners now typically enjoy (?).

Admittedly, that doesn't account for people who have been married and divorced four times by age 30, so clearly there's something else going on as well. That said, I remain reluctant to attribute whatever is going on, to brand new social trends. Does the term "seven-year itch" mean anything to you?

The whole issue reminds me of those Greek myths in which someone convinces a god to grant them eternal life, but forgets to ask the god to throw eternal youth into the bargain.

None of this is meant to trivialize the pain of broken pair-bonds. Any way a pair-bond breaks, it's just about the worst thing that can happen to a person. If you've ever seen those charts that attempt to show the relative stress caused by various life events, you'll notice that "death of spouse" is at the very top. I'm not sure that "death of pair-bond" is very far behind.

Like I said: "people get chewed up as a result and feel lousy about themselves."

You know, although I'm not a Christian I've always tapped into the gospels, both traditional and apocryphal and more, cuz for me the Jesus teachings are absolutely useful and beautiful. He surprises me with what he says still, and one of the things that surprises me still is when he talks about not getting divorced. I read that and I think: "Oh c'mon - you know better than that - people just don't get along sometimes, and it's no sin to take another partner. You know that." (Okay, okay - I talk to Jesus sometimes; it's no sin, okay?)

But more recently still, I'm thinking that his advice to stick with your partner wasn't based on anything like sin or wrongness, but just on the fact that if you split up, it tears you apart to the extent that everything useful in life goes on hold until the wound heals, which is a dreadful loss of what little time we have, and it interferes with our chances to realize something more essential and 'of the kingdom', which is what we're designed for. In other words, get a divorce (formal or otherwise), and you take a big detour on the spiritual path.

On the radio a couple of weeks ago, I heard about this online service for orthodox Jews - a kind of dating service where they can vet people with a view to getting married. A lot of the questions that people filter each other with on that site are along the lines of: "How many times a day do you pray?" cuz they're trying to make sure they can live with the other person in the context of their own faith. Twenty years ago, I'd have thought they were being silly; now I'm not so sure. If you're lucky enough or clever enough to find a partner who you can stick with, and who will stick with you, you're in a position to get on with life. Otherwise, it's all damage control.