Hi guys,

something funny happened last night. For the last couple of weeks I had this strange thought: it's at least three-four years that I don't get the Abysmal in my readings. Well, here we go!! I came back from my hols, asked a question, and I practically called the Abysmal my way!
So, what's the situation? I went through a very painful breakup. I am doing really well and I used this to dramatically change many aspects of my life to the better so it's been the starting point of many positives.
The big issue is that I am left with a lot of distrust and disillusion on the whole idea of being in a relationship again. I have asked myself many times if I could ever trust somebody's words again. On the other side, I have lately found myself wishing to... fighting with myself not to become cynical by giving up on people from the beginning. So, a lot of confusion, of strong contrasting feelings: on one side, the desire to believe in life; on the other, the impression that it would be unwise and I'd set myself up for further disappointment. I'm afraid of losing myself.
Last night, I asked if I could have some clarification on what I was going through and how to get some peace and trust life, eventually, again.
I got 29.2.3.6>53 (Sorry wrote 59 in the title by mistake!!).
Could you pls help? I am still trying to interpret it and I didn't find past readings to look at... I am clearly very confused... Looks like it's shouting to me to just do nothing at all...

Thanks in advance!!

turandot

Two Questions

turandot said:

The big issue is that I am left with a lot of distrust and disillusion on the whole idea of being in a relationship again.
Last night, I asked if I could have some clarification on what I was going through and how to get some peace and trust life, eventually, again.
I got 29.2.3.6>53 (Sorry wrote 59 in the title by mistake!!).
Could you pls help? I am still trying to interpret it and I didn't find past readings to look at... I am clearly very confused... Looks like it's shouting to me to just do nothing at all...

Click to expand...

I find it is hard enough to work through one question, but you asked two questions at once, a description of what you were going through, and then a "how" question. My take on this is that you got a fairly accurate answer to the "what am I going through" question. You are making "gradual progress (H53), but the lines indicate many difficulties getting out of this relationship abyss. You can have small relationship pleasures, but not the total trust relationship that you seek at this time.

The reading indicates that this will be a long process, and so does H53.

I suggest you try asking a separate question for the "how do I" question.

Tiger

Turandot, nothing fancy here, just my two cents. No, you can never trust words from anybody, you have to see their deeds. What do they do when the pressure is on? That's the true measure. And if they stand up to that scrutiny, then even the Abysmal isn't going to be a problem.

I think it is telling you that you are still going through the "process"............. and the advice of 29 is always "keep going".

29.2 says that while you are keen to get on with life you cannot yet see what that life is like on the "other side" because the sides of the abyss are too steep so just move forward, bit by bit, inch by inch for now.

29.3 echoes that in a different way by saying ease up - now is not really the time to worry about whether you can trust anyone or not because you just need to pass through the journey of healing from your last relationship - trusting someone else is not really an issue because there isn't anyone else to trust except yourself right now. So give yourself a break don't worry about these things.

29.6 says that if you do this - ie concentrate on YOUR healing process - you wil be fine but if you allow yourself the self indulgence of going beyond these limits you are in danger of geting stuck there.

And as Tiger says - it is a gradual process 53 so be patient....

All in all I don't think trusting someone else is the issue here - I think it is just telling you to concentrate on the job in hand which it sounds like you were already doing rather well. I think 29.6 speaks to you of your "fear of losing yourself". So don't go there - don't worry about these things - just do the biz of healing and don't worry about the "next" because you have no idea what form that could take - (29.2).

Good luck..........

Lucia

Hi tigerintheboat, lucia and arabella,

thanks a lot for your answers, they are spot on! I am clearly in a state of confusion so this really helps. Confusion on whether to trust my gut feelings again, to trust somebody else, and in general to trust life (which is, if I may, the bigger issue at hand). I'll take it bit by bit. In the end, I brought an intense revolution to my life already: within a few months I have changed job, I am about to move house, and I have spent my recent months alone as a chance to travel with friends or alone and give myself the chance to do things I missed a lot before. I guess the rest, the general optimism in life, will take a little longer and is something deeper inside that can't be rushed in anyway.

Thanks again, your readings helps in a moment in which I feel like "a fish out of the water" (as they say in Italy)!

turandot

Turandot,
I don't really have any wise insight into your reading, but I felt compelled to post and tell you I understand how you are feeling and the deep confusion and discomfort this "place" and moment in life brings. It's an unsettling sensation to fear you'll never be able to trust again and simultaneously understand the sadness of "what if I never trust again", particularly when contemplating future relationship possibilities with everyone..friends, partners, even yourself! I'm sorry for your experience and the uncomfortable place it's left you in. To me, it does sound like you are taking some healthy steps toward re-integrating yourself with yourself...which IMO is always the first step toward learning to trust anyone else again and learning who you want to be within future relationships. Just keep going one step at a time...I feel certain you'll get right where you need to be!!
Namaste' and happy healing adventures to you
~Krista

Thanks kdedeaux4,

for your kind words. Empathy always helps. Especially because a lot of the advice I get "on the outside" doesn't really resonate with me. Stuff on the line of "throw yourself into strings of meaningless relationships" or "being cynical equates growing up" or "you should have quit that relationship earlier blah blah blah", "you should have seen it coming" or "you're thinking and reasoning too much just enjoy life without consequences", "be selfish" to "change and live in line with the world" to "you have to play strategies with men" to "your relationship failed because you were too kind" to "in order to keep a man he always needs to feel insecure" etc. That just doesn't sound right. Quite the opposite, it sounds awful. That's another reason why I asked the I Ching to show me the situation I'm in. I feel sometimes alienated and lonely. Like I'm playing a completely different game.
So, patience, patience, patience, and small steps. That's the new "mantra"

Thanks again,

turandot