I don't know what is preferred in this group for following up one's own topics but since I started communicating here with Hex 10 and the thread is old, I started a new one. Hope that's ok.

I first asked what group I should join to help me delve to the depths & come up with the water and got 10>58 so I came here to find some joy and Boy Howdy! I have that.

Thank you all for your generosity. I got Hex 10 again tonight and I'd like to share my little insights with you all. I hope you don't mind me making these Long Posts :bows:

I have been chasing the Tiger for a month now and I finally have something besides the tail so bear with me. It's been right in front of my face all along but I didn't get it until I read the text below. Thank you to the Poster , which I should have made note of, sorry. The URL was posted in one of the archived posts I've been pouring over for days now, trying trying to understand just what is my block. Anyone else would have seen it in a heartbeat but please don't berate me for coming late. Some of us never grow up

Correct conduct: socialization, manners, knowing how to comport oneself, maintaining composure, not creating a scene by acting immaturely, not embarrassing oneself in public or in private, not creating shame for oneself or others, not breaking down and loosing it completely just for drama. Where in my childhood did I fail to make the transition that I need to go back and finish; strip away now? Jealousy.

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My father was a man who liked his women jealous of him. He fostered competition and there was one between my step-mother and I over his attention. I was such a brat! I told her I didn't have to do what she told me to do, she was not my mother. I told him it was me or her and he picked her. What did that twist in me? The men I pick go out of the way to stir me up over this and I just keep on picking them ... How does one fix this altogether undesirable trait one has suddenly acknowledged as being the primary reason for all one's relationship failures? Crap! Back to the couch for me!

Sorry for intruding the personal stuff but that's the way I relate to people. Maybe too much information for some but this also adds clarity to something about Hex 23 that had eluded me as well. Stripping away is only frightening until you realize that what you're giving up is useless and even harming you if you keep it.

I'm already generating more question for the Yi

Hex 23

People who are snobby, proud and elitist will soon fall down but those who are generous, good willed, and humble will secure a good reception and a loyal following.

The mere fact that you've acknowledged that you attract a certain type will result in 'release',
a new dawn will begin. Don't chastise yourself re. past conduct as a child. Embrace it, accept it,
forgive yourself and move on. Hex. 23 places emphasis on stripping away the 'old'. You're
turning over a new leaf ...

themis said:

The mere fact that you've acknowledged that you attract a certain type will result in 'release',
a new dawn will begin. Don't chastise yourself re. past conduct as a child. Embrace it, accept it,
forgive yourself and move on. Hex. 23 places emphasis on stripping away the 'old'. You're
turning over a new leaf ...

Click to expand...

I wish that were true! I have known for quite some time that if I entered a room with 50 men, I'd pick the psychopath without fail! I should go out and weed them out and get paid for it ? (JUst kidding). Knowing isn't all of it. Many people know they should give up their bad habits like smoking or drinking or other drugs but DOING takes a plan and a determined effort of will to eradicate deep-seated behaviors. The light bulb has to want to change

Jealousy is a combination of anger and fear. That rolling feeling in your gut - that's fear. That tight jaw and tense shoulders is your anger. Two very negative emotions in combination; lethal to your body. So, what am I afraid of and what am I angry about? Basically it's of being displaced as I was in my father's life by the step-mother (who was jealous and threatened and insecure too). Mother's jealousy also fed those flames - it was a nasty divorce and I was caught in the middle. i'm modeling the behavior that surrounded my "'trauma". I've talked and talked in therapy about these issues and *thought* I had released and forgiven and moved on. But, I haven't, or so it seems. I still over-react!

Ekhart Tolle and I are working on being NOW instead of in the past. I'm going to talk with several people who can help me focus on this and actually let it go. Insecurity is related to being a poor looser, IMHO. I saw this in my son at about 7 years of age. He couldn't stand to loose at any game. He grieved his loses hard. I saw that this was not good and got him into Little League with a good coach who knew that there is something about loosing that causes kids to feel ashamed unless they are given praise too and he got over it!

I don't think joining a baseball team will help me but Tai Chi will and so will re-doing some of the work I've done before on these issues like positive affirmation and sitting calmly in the present. I need other interests in my life and I'm busy developing them. Life is a circle that keeps going round

Thank you for your thoughts, they've helped me to progress to the point that I know I have to work on accepting life on life's terms - again

A shift in your mindset will take place. It's a process, so just be observant and keep an open mind.
May I suggest you try taking long brisk walks (thereby calming/soothing hormones are released) through nature, in parks, alongside water - the effect is beneficial on one's wellbeing according to specialists. When you choose to sit down in such beautiful, natural surroundings daydream of that which makes your heart sing. Seriously, the effect is indeed positive - it's all on BBC online.

Wishing you every success in your future endeavours.