Hello,

So my girlfriend left me after a relationship of almost 8 years. She said I haven't done anything wrong but she doesn't have any feelings for me.

I've been thinking a lot about this relationship and I would like to take this breakup to improve myself. Because to me, when a couple breaks up, both have a responsibility in this failure.

So I ask : What can I do to improve myself, what wrongs have I done?
I got 29.1.6 > 61

"Repeated dangers" and "Bound with good rope and cords. For three years, gains nothing. Pitfall" leading to Inner Truth.
So I interpret this as I've made the same mistake again and again, but I can't do nothing to correct it and that is my true self. I have yet to find this repeated faulty behavior.
Or another interpretation is that I should not protect myself so much, put myself more in danger. I tend to hide my good deeds, because that would show me as a weak person. My ex knows it and accepted it. Maybe she would like to have a more shiny boyfriend, but I prefer to stay humble and not to show off.

Well, I would like some insights from the community

Thanks in advance.

lamethy said:

Hello,

So my girlfriend left me after a relationship of almost 8 years. She said I haven't done anything wrong but she doesn't have any feelings for me.
I've been thinking a lot about this relationship and I would like to take this breakup to improve myself. Because to me, when a couple breaks up, both have a responsibility in this failure.

So I ask : What can I do to improve myself, what wrongs have I done?
I got 29.1.6 > 61

"Repeated dangers" and "Bound with good rope and cords. For three years, gains nothing. Pitfall" leading to Inner Truth.
So I interpret this as I've made the same mistake again and again, but I can't do nothing to correct it and that is my true self. I have yet to find this repeated faulty behavior.
Or another interpretation is that I should not protect myself so much, put myself more in danger. I tend to hide my good deeds, because that would show me as a weak person. My ex knows it and accepted it. Maybe she would like to have a more shiny boyfriend, but I prefer to stay humble and not to show off.

Well, I would like some insights from the community

Thanks in advance.

Click to expand...

Something tells me you should have believed her when she said what she did...she should know. If you had done something wrong she surely would have told you...its what girlfriends do.

You can't make sense of it emotionally so your mind is trying to make out it all has a logical cause and it was all down to something you did wrong. But it wasn't. Plus why think of it as a 'failure' ? Why not think of it as an 8 year success that has now evolved/dissolved from its old form

Now you are digging real deep holes for yourself with this line of thinking and if you pursue this line of thinking you will really disable yourself (29.6) and head into a thicket of thorns such as a depression born of low self esteem and self blame...literally tying your head up in knots !

Often 29 comes up around emotional pain. One way to attempt to avoid the pain is to rationalise it like you are trying to do....then if only you can figure why it happened you can put it right. But 29 isn't about the neat rational stuff we can control....its the dangerous depths of emotions we can only navigate staying with the truth of the reality now....which right now is likley very painful

After 8 years it must be extremely painful for you but try not to complicate it by looking for your fault as the main cause of the break. Maybe she changed, maybe you both changed...but i can't see why, especially given what she said, that you should feel its all down to you being at fault.

In the midst of this painful episode there is the potential for reaching the truth (61) but do think if self blame when things fail is a pattern of yours...don't let that pattern cause you to fall into pits you can't get out of. You have enough to deal with without that


Naturally you will reflect on what happened , how things could have been different, silly for me to say don't do that. I just mean 29.6 looks an uncomfortable place to be if you go too far delving into what you did wrong you might get stuck there. At the end of relationships often people are hurling all kinds of accusations and recriminations at one another...but she isn't. So if she isn't she must obviously still think you are a decent person

29.1
Repetition of the Abysmal.
In the abyss one falls into a pit.
Misfortune.

This reads to me that you tolerated circumstances that were not right for some time. Perhaps you've known all along this girl didn't care about you as you cared for her but you didn't want to confront it.

29.6
Bound with cords and ropes,
Shut in between thorn-hedged prison walls:
For three years one does not find the way.
Misfortune.

All bound up with problems, confusion.
It appears there is nothing you can do to make things right.
--

Perhaps 61. Inner Truth is asking you to consider that there is nothing you have done wrong. it may be the girl simply doesn't love you.

-Rosada

@trojan : Thanks for you reply. You make many good points. I really appreciate your insight, I've never considered that interpretation for hex 29.

rosada said:

29.6
Bound with cords and ropes,
Shut in between thorn-hedged prison walls:
For three years one does not find the way.
Misfortune.

All bound up with problems, confusion.
It appears there is nothing you can do to make things right.
--

Perhaps 61. Inner Truth is asking you to consider that there is nothing you have done wrong. it may be the girl simply doesn't love you.

-Rosada

Click to expand...

Thanks for your answer too. It helped me have a better understanding of the situation.
I've bolded that part of your answer because I don't want to make things right with her. I just wanted to know what went wrong so that I won't make the same mistake in my future relationships. But maybe I misunderstood what you wanted to say so if that the case, I apologize

If something new comes up, I will keep these forums updated as a follow up

Thanks to both of you again