Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Man in question sent me birthday wishes by email and I phoned him to say thank you and tell him the asnwer to his question about my foot surgery.
When I phoned he had a lot of people over, said he would phone me back the next day. He didnt. i waited five days and called him. I asked how his party had been. He said it was impromptu, he had dinner with friends and then invited them over and it lasted til 6 in the morning and it was fun, and sorry he didnt phone me back but by the time he finishes work and thinks to phone me it is too late to call. (excuse).
We had a 40 minute conversation about this and that. He had previously (before my bday) agreed to attend my party on the 19th. On the 16th when we spoke i told him about parking for the 19th party, and we talked about his work and my work and my foot and his international project and etc. it was a warm, casual convo. I didnt have the sense he wanted to get off the phone.
On the 19th, he sent a text saying smthing went wrong in the lab, he could not leave, he is sorry to miss my party. I replied saying well we will be here til late if you want to come later. I was very disappointed. I had planned the party for weeks with the hope of him meeting my friends.
Stupidly I phoned the next day. I actually phoned not to talk about my party but to tell him i had feelings for him. I planned/wrote out a speech... i didnt get to say it bc he had to go immediately, bc he normally makes a phonecall overseas to his family at that time each Sunday & it was already late where they are. He said he would ph one back and never did.
I decided the worst thing I can do now is tell him how i feel. Bc i have been misreading signals all along.
I had thought after two flower deliveries from him (3 weeks ago) and more attention out of the blue he was interested. I now believe I was just reading ito it what i wanted. I have struggled with this (as many of you on the forum know) and I do not know what i am doing wrong. I am trying to guess the rules of the game, but they are not written anywhere. I thought it would be OK to call and treat him like a friend, but the calling has pushed him away (even tho it was only 2 calls). I have never just phoned a guy out of the blue like this and was nervous as heck, my heart POUNDING when I dialed the number. But previous readings had suggested he is scared or shy and doesnt know i'm interested adn to make it safer i should do something to bridge the gap. I thought building a friendship with a convo would help. Now that seems to have been wrong.
Why didn’t he come to the party? 15 integrity twice.
What is my best plan of action to him now? 13.6 > 49
What is this? 13 line 6?? The companions trust one another, even when they are far apart. But the fact that the beloved is in a distant place means that the association is still not fulfilled; the time of true brotherhood of man has not yet arrived. But there is hope and no occasion for reproach.
He doenst seem to trust me or even like me. He didnt come to my party. He has not returned a call --twice. People keep telling me he is interested but scared. I think i'm the stupid one here now. "there is hope"? really? Where? Where is the hope?
Another interpretation: "The warm attachment that springs from the heart is lacking here. We are by this time actually outside of fellowship with others. However, we ally ourselves with them. The fellowship does not include all, but only those who happen to dwell near one another. The meadow is the pasture at the entrance to the town. At this stage, the ultimate goal of the union of mankind has not yet been attained, but we need not reproach ourselves. We join the community without separate aims of our own."
OK no attachment of the heart on his end? Clear. But there is one on mine. It is telling me how it is, not what to do...
I found this on another thread: "13.6 You meet the guest speaker 'out in the field.' That is, not in your own home or place. That part just means the meeting is outside your home. Some translators have added the idea that the person is also 'remote' because he is on a mission; like a soldier fighting a war. He is dedicated to his mission and it is not likely that you'll get close to him -- or as close to him as you wanted to get." Ok my party was outside of my home, and he would not have known anyone there. but i am not asking what happened that night I want to know how to cope going forward.
It continues: "I have had this line simply when meeting a friend somewhere. Something might be disappointing -- but not always. Once I thought the friendship would go on and on but my friend told me she was leaving for another city. That was disappointing. In any case, the advice is not to be sad. "
But i am sad. He is (my "he" in this case) dedicated to his work and i guess i cant be close to him for that reason? is this the message?
Also: "And in the spirit line, 13.6, it is good to stay in the meadow, don't expect everyone to be of the same level. Some change like leopards, others only in the face (49.6). If you limit your exchange to your own level, nothing new or unexpected can meet you, no possibility to grow, to expand your horizon.""
What is that, "to your own level"? I met this man precisely by expaning my horizons, going to a party last summer where I did not know a single soul.
I now want to meet this man on any level he so chooses, wither it is intellectual conversations about international situations or doing archery on the weekends (both of which we've done)... And nothing happens.. and my heart is breaking in two.
Also: "People in the "countryside" appear all the same outwardly but inwardly they are not. To accept this in close relationships is very difficult since we want to be inwardly close as well. I got this line when asking about exactly this to someone I am very close outwardly (I am married to her for 18 years) but feel inwardly quite incompatible for a long time, hence not enough intimacy to feel really content. Unfortunately, this is not going away. So I get regularly frustrated and ask the IGing what the root cause of my frustration was and got 13.6. Should I be worried about this? The IGing says that I shouldn't - no regrets! I find this quite difficult to stomach. It also says that things are quite not yet as they should be! What does that mean? Well, the resulting 49 gives a hint - things need to change quite a bit! But where and how? It seems that the IGing gives a good analysis of the socical circumstances but hasn't got an answer either! Does it mean the their are things in our life we just have to accept? Acceptance of the "normality" of the power of convenience - is that the dramatic change? Is that all?"
My questions exactly. I would love input.
When I phoned he had a lot of people over, said he would phone me back the next day. He didnt. i waited five days and called him. I asked how his party had been. He said it was impromptu, he had dinner with friends and then invited them over and it lasted til 6 in the morning and it was fun, and sorry he didnt phone me back but by the time he finishes work and thinks to phone me it is too late to call. (excuse).
We had a 40 minute conversation about this and that. He had previously (before my bday) agreed to attend my party on the 19th. On the 16th when we spoke i told him about parking for the 19th party, and we talked about his work and my work and my foot and his international project and etc. it was a warm, casual convo. I didnt have the sense he wanted to get off the phone.
On the 19th, he sent a text saying smthing went wrong in the lab, he could not leave, he is sorry to miss my party. I replied saying well we will be here til late if you want to come later. I was very disappointed. I had planned the party for weeks with the hope of him meeting my friends.
Stupidly I phoned the next day. I actually phoned not to talk about my party but to tell him i had feelings for him. I planned/wrote out a speech... i didnt get to say it bc he had to go immediately, bc he normally makes a phonecall overseas to his family at that time each Sunday & it was already late where they are. He said he would ph one back and never did.
I decided the worst thing I can do now is tell him how i feel. Bc i have been misreading signals all along.
I had thought after two flower deliveries from him (3 weeks ago) and more attention out of the blue he was interested. I now believe I was just reading ito it what i wanted. I have struggled with this (as many of you on the forum know) and I do not know what i am doing wrong. I am trying to guess the rules of the game, but they are not written anywhere. I thought it would be OK to call and treat him like a friend, but the calling has pushed him away (even tho it was only 2 calls). I have never just phoned a guy out of the blue like this and was nervous as heck, my heart POUNDING when I dialed the number. But previous readings had suggested he is scared or shy and doesnt know i'm interested adn to make it safer i should do something to bridge the gap. I thought building a friendship with a convo would help. Now that seems to have been wrong.
Why didn’t he come to the party? 15 integrity twice.
What is my best plan of action to him now? 13.6 > 49
What is this? 13 line 6?? The companions trust one another, even when they are far apart. But the fact that the beloved is in a distant place means that the association is still not fulfilled; the time of true brotherhood of man has not yet arrived. But there is hope and no occasion for reproach.
He doenst seem to trust me or even like me. He didnt come to my party. He has not returned a call --twice. People keep telling me he is interested but scared. I think i'm the stupid one here now. "there is hope"? really? Where? Where is the hope?
Another interpretation: "The warm attachment that springs from the heart is lacking here. We are by this time actually outside of fellowship with others. However, we ally ourselves with them. The fellowship does not include all, but only those who happen to dwell near one another. The meadow is the pasture at the entrance to the town. At this stage, the ultimate goal of the union of mankind has not yet been attained, but we need not reproach ourselves. We join the community without separate aims of our own."
OK no attachment of the heart on his end? Clear. But there is one on mine. It is telling me how it is, not what to do...
I found this on another thread: "13.6 You meet the guest speaker 'out in the field.' That is, not in your own home or place. That part just means the meeting is outside your home. Some translators have added the idea that the person is also 'remote' because he is on a mission; like a soldier fighting a war. He is dedicated to his mission and it is not likely that you'll get close to him -- or as close to him as you wanted to get." Ok my party was outside of my home, and he would not have known anyone there. but i am not asking what happened that night I want to know how to cope going forward.
It continues: "I have had this line simply when meeting a friend somewhere. Something might be disappointing -- but not always. Once I thought the friendship would go on and on but my friend told me she was leaving for another city. That was disappointing. In any case, the advice is not to be sad. "
But i am sad. He is (my "he" in this case) dedicated to his work and i guess i cant be close to him for that reason? is this the message?
Also: "And in the spirit line, 13.6, it is good to stay in the meadow, don't expect everyone to be of the same level. Some change like leopards, others only in the face (49.6). If you limit your exchange to your own level, nothing new or unexpected can meet you, no possibility to grow, to expand your horizon.""
What is that, "to your own level"? I met this man precisely by expaning my horizons, going to a party last summer where I did not know a single soul.
I now want to meet this man on any level he so chooses, wither it is intellectual conversations about international situations or doing archery on the weekends (both of which we've done)... And nothing happens.. and my heart is breaking in two.
Also: "People in the "countryside" appear all the same outwardly but inwardly they are not. To accept this in close relationships is very difficult since we want to be inwardly close as well. I got this line when asking about exactly this to someone I am very close outwardly (I am married to her for 18 years) but feel inwardly quite incompatible for a long time, hence not enough intimacy to feel really content. Unfortunately, this is not going away. So I get regularly frustrated and ask the IGing what the root cause of my frustration was and got 13.6. Should I be worried about this? The IGing says that I shouldn't - no regrets! I find this quite difficult to stomach. It also says that things are quite not yet as they should be! What does that mean? Well, the resulting 49 gives a hint - things need to change quite a bit! But where and how? It seems that the IGing gives a good analysis of the socical circumstances but hasn't got an answer either! Does it mean the their are things in our life we just have to accept? Acceptance of the "normality" of the power of convenience - is that the dramatic change? Is that all?"
My questions exactly. I would love input.
