43.2,5 > 55 - help summing it up?

em ching · Mar 17, 2011

Hello,

I received this reading twice. Someone I am sort of seeing has had some bad news re a close family member. I was with him when it happened, so I left. We'd spent some time together, brief made briefer, but during much of that time there was awkwardness (due to negative thoughts swirling around my head adding to my inability to be relaxed but also perhaps awkwardness would perhaps have been there anyway even if I was a happy individual ie. maybe it's not right for either of us). But other times it was good. We have a lot in common and fancy each other, yet... perhaps it's all down to my social anxiety. I also think I betrayed some of my insecurity to him which may have put him off. And as a result of my issues

he may not feel he can get comfort from me at this time because I myself am not strong, and maybe wants to call it a day. Or perhaps where it really matters, we are just incompatible. Added to this too is physically going our separate ways fairly soon. But I know I have feelings for him, I'd still like to carry on. But, maybe I am more inclined to want that for my own peace of mind, perhaps regardless, because of the overall attraction? To protect my ego? Perhaps I'm in denial, or perhaps there's no such thing as perfect in relationships? We are both quite shy. Almost communicate better when not face to face

I have a feeling we can still be friends, but the subtext may be that it's over (the romance).

I asked 'does he love me?' (bit dramatic I know but it came out...)
43.2,5 > 55

I then asked Why hasn't he been in touch yet? 43.2,5 > 55 (really I know the answer to this, the bad news was very recent so he's attending to that. And he's probably confused about me as I am about him (although I like him more I think (and I think he knows this), or maybe even want/need him more, than he does me (as he is happier in himself and better-adjusted).

But it would be great if I could be a source of comfort to him in his time of need, but maybe my ego gets in the way. I also had this reading when asking 'What did he think of my behaviour when he saw me last'?:

50.3 Hilary: The vessel is being remade, and as its ‘ears’ – its carrying loops – are changed, it’s not yet ready to be
moved and used. This is like someone who is not open to connect with others. Even though there is
good within them, it remains inaccessible, so people go unnourished and immediate needs are not met.
But this need not last. Rain will fall over all the fields of the realm, releasing tension and liberating
blocked potential; seeds stirred from their dormancy will begin to grow. Regrets diminish little by little,
in this larger view and longer term.

My views on 43.2,5 > 55:

In this I see well, have no fear? I am in a bit of shock right now, so I feel quite calm. Also he didn't dump me per se, it was bad timing. Could be me I suppose - perhaps he hasn't gone off me completely? - or maybe it's about his reaction to his bad news. He doesn't want to cry out, doesn't want to talk about his fear re. his bad news. And perhaps he is removing weeds - me in this case, because maybe the awkwardness there isn't just teething troubles... he's clearing the ground so that he can see again (perhaps our 'failure' has eclipsed (depressed) us both. And then hex 55 reflecting his present darkness and confusion. The love has peaked. And he has decided that this is the case?

Any reactions to this reading would be appreciated.

:bows:

em ching · Mar 17, 2011

To help clarify hex 43.2 (namely) I also asked:

Is it as bad as I fear between us?
34.2 > 55

Again 55... I always always can never be sure, whether 55 should be read as positive (opportunites are available/waxing) or negative (opportunities are behind/waning). Maybe it's that there's a window of opportunity... but not for that long?

34.2 is positive... but a warning against over-confidence. Perhaps mine in pushing the relationship along a little too hastily. I don't know. I suppose asking the I Ching isn't about getting an answer to the situation (only time gives that and sometimes not even then) but rather, about understanding... and helping you to cope. Perhaps it's saying if I remain strong, there's a chance for us?

em ching · Mar 17, 2011

Just to share one more reading.

The news he has had was very bad. Made me feel ashamed and immature that I had been so preoccupied with my social anxiety all day, pushing him away. Or perhaps it will become clear that this another relationship I cannot have simply because it's not meant to be, rather than being my fault...

I asked - should I give him space until he contacts me?
(I had thought I'd leave it a week, but maybe I should not plan to do this, as a hunter might set a trap. This is how I've reacted in the past and it doesn't win them over when I've sensed them pulling away. Clever words aren't enough, especially when they do not balance face to face relating... I know I should only act if it really feels right to.)

> Hex 57

I think this means gentle action towards him. In that case, when it feels right to, I will make contact. I will be consistent, but little breath/s of wind, not a gale...

Does anyone have any view of 43.2,5 > 55?

Could it be refleting that he is overwhelmed right now? Concentrating on other things? No doubt upset. And I don't think he's comfortable enough with me, to gain comfort from me, so I shouldn't expect to hear from him? I'm not in the right place to support him, perhaps anyone, because of my own troubles? Or at least that is the effect I have on people. The line about 'no fear' in hex 43 gives me hope though, maybe I needn't feel that I have ruined things? Perhaps awkwardness is natural? Or I still need to pull up the weeds that are making it hard for me to have relationships with people. Or, reflecting him, he is clearing the path of what isn't right for him.

:bows:

elias · Mar 18, 2011

43.5 "We must be resolute against losing inner independence and balance, and against allowing others to cause us to want, worry, or wonder. We must keep our serenity. It is necessary to let people who wish to err go on their way, while we remain firmly rooted not to give them up as hopeless. We should not give up on ourselves, either -- on our ability to persevere and endure other, and endure the general situation"

55 "There is an eclipse. Clinging to the power of truth will cause it to pass."

57 "Only consistently firm, yet gentle, inner thoughts penetrate to others with good effect." (Anthony)

em ching · Mar 18, 2011

elias said:
43.5 "We must be resolute against losing inner independence and balance, and against allowing others to cause us to want, worry, or wonder. We must keep our serenity. It is necessary to let people who wish to err go on their way, while we remain firmly rooted not to give them up as hopeless. We should not give up on ourselves, either -- on our ability to persevere and endure other, and endure the general situation"

55 "There is an eclipse. Clinging to the power of truth will cause it to pass."

57 "Only consistently firm, yet gentle, inner thoughts penetrate to others with good effect." (Anthony)

Thanks elias. Where did you get the 43,5 interpretation from? I hope he hasn't given up on me. I know I behaved wrongly.

I think there is an eclipse at the mo - I am in the dark, waiting. He is too by his bad news and perhaps disappointment with how things went between us.

Do you view 57 as encouraging not taking any physical action really? But remain open. Think happy thoughts. Work on myself and he may unconsciously pick up on that? Maintain my dignity by not trying to get his attention and prove myself - make up for how I think I messed up. But perhaps it does mean gentle gestures to, if the situation demands?

I asked also, How can I help him during this time? (re. his bad news)

Hex 57 again

Please could you tell me what you think? Does this mean don't do anything? Have faith in what is unseen? Don't strive? Leave him be?

Hulkscrammer: '... don't be too serious, give the other enough room,don't push or pull and don't focus too strongly on tangible results...'

:bows:

tigerintheboat · Mar 18, 2011

H43.5

em ching said:
I asked 'does he love me?' (bit dramatic I know but it came out...)
43.2,5 > 55

Yi says: Be Resolved in the Denseness.

Someone wrote a song about this once:

Darkness at the break of noon
Shadows even the silver spoon
The handmade blade, the child's balloon
Eclipses both the sun and moon
To understand you know too soon
There is no sense in trying.

Line 2; be armed and fearless, and be ready for anything. Then you need not fear.

Line 5 is about something that is (a) valuable, and (b) weak, but tenacious, and is growing off on "high ground": difficult to reach and high maintenance to continue cultivating. Do you have the energy to go after it? You are the only one that is capable of determining (a) if you have the energy, or (b) if the "wild thing" is worth it.

Uncle Yi answered your love question with some agricultural advice; do you want to go up the mountain like a goat to pick the wild greens? The greens are there for the taking, but there aren't easy to reach and they might be bitter.

Meanwhile it is a dense/abundant situation, direction home easily obscured.

Tiger

elias · Mar 19, 2011

I think you have a good sense on 57. It’s always seemed to me quietly optimistic for long-term success, though it demands continuous effort and attention. One should not underestimate the power in remaining open and thinking happy thoughts ;->

Hex 57 “Wind following Wind is harmonious progress” “This hexagram represents progressing on the path flexible obedience; it follows on the previous hexagram richness. In richnes understanding and action are united, so that one can deal with things adaptively, passive or active at will, essence and life depending on oneself and not on fate. However, the path of uniting understanding and action is not easily accomplished; in cannot be done without the work of gradual progress by flexible obedience. If one is flexible and obedient, one can endure long; by gradual progress one can penetrate. Flexible obedience making gradual progress, getting stronger with persistance, working without slacking off, will eventually arrive at deep attainment of self-realization. Therefore, ‘wind is small but developmental’” (Taoist I Ching. trans Thomas Cleary).

I think 57 speaks to developing the self, “flexible and obedient” in the moment, rather falling into utter passivity or rigid, prestructured responses. Wind carves away mountains and evaporates seas and finds its way through the smallest cracks through continuous effort over long spans of time. This sort of patience requires quite a bit of self-development. The most difficult aspect is in hanging in there as the ego screams for instant gratification.

Of your friend in this time of difficulty – perhaps the best approach is making known – as you probably already have – your concern and support, but without making demands on his time or energies. Once issues settle, he may contact you again in his own time and way. (And if not, you will be wiser for the experience, though that may be small consolation in this moment…)

In the mean-time, don’t beat yourself up for what you did or said or think you should have done differently. Sincerity and authenticity go a long way in difficult personal situations.

The Buddhist interpretation suggests that you may indeed have a leading role in the situation:

“Wind following Wind – thus do leaders articulate directions and carry out tasks. Only when wind comes continuously can it sway things; only when leaders articulate their directions clearly and carry out their tasks earnestly can they move the people. Therefore the virtue of true leaders is likened to wind" (Buddhist I Ching. trans Thomas Cleary)

em ching · Mar 19, 2011

tigerintheboat said:
Yi says: Be Resolved in the Denseness.

Someone wrote a song about this once:

Darkness at the break of noon
Shadows even the silver spoon
The handmade blade, the child's balloon
Eclipses both the sun and moon
To understand you know too soon
There is no sense in trying.

Line 2; be armed and fearless, and be ready for anything. Then you need not fear.

Line 5 is about something that is (a) valuable, and (b) weak, but tenacious, and is growing off on "high ground": difficult to reach and high maintenance to continue cultivating. Do you have the energy to go after it? You are the only one that is capable of determining (a) if you have the energy, or (b) if the "wild thing" is worth it.

Uncle Yi answered your love question with some agricultural advice; do you want to go up the mountain like a goat to pick the wild greens? The greens are there for the taking, but there aren't easy to reach and they might be bitter.

Meanwhile it is a dense/abundant situation, direction home easily obscured.

Tiger

Hi Tiger,

Thanks for the interpretation. I do want to go up the mountain as you may have guessed, so it's his call. I think our relationship is valuable but it is long distance, so that's where difficulty to reach comes in

Words aren't enough sometimes I guess.

That song is sweet - nice imagery. I think it's about how nothing is fathomable during an eclipse - darkness when you expect light. And nothing is exempt from the darkness. All that can be done is wait it out. I think that fits.

I like the sentence you made: Resolved in the Denseness. I wonder what kind of revolve is all, and I'm yet to see the light about that. But at least he knows I care, and if I have messed it up, I guess it's ok again. If I can think good thoughts now, perhaps I can turn it around.

Thanks :bows:

em ching · Mar 19, 2011

elias said:
The most difficult aspect is in hanging in there as the ego screams for instant gratification.

Of your friend in this time of difficulty – perhaps the best approach is making known – as you probably already have – your concern and support, but without making demands on his time or energies. Once issues settle, he may contact you again in his own time and way. (And if not, you will be wiser for the experience, though that may be small consolation in this moment…)

In the mean-time, don’t beat yourself up for what you did or said or think you should have done differently. Sincerity and authenticity go a long way in difficult personal situations.

The Buddhist interpretation suggests that you may indeed have a leading role in the situation:

Thanks so much for your straight up advice! I have/am trying my best to heed it. Today I made contact but without needing a response. Just a breath of wind then it's gone (I hope I didn't go too far

) It's really hard. Part of it may be my ego wanting reassurance, but also I want to express my care and share things - as we have in the past. Anyway all I can do now is wait.

Hilary's interpretation of hex 17 helped today: You can know your ideal, and then allow it to meld with the natural current, following signs and nudges and allowing them to draw you onward. Then, you may experience Following as an effortless flow of supportive synchronicities – or you may experience it as events unfolding in accordance with their own schedule, and failing to keep to yours. It can seem as if simply allowing yourself to be guided by the current is not enough, and you ought to be ‘doing something’. But moving with the creative process is not a mistake.

- Today I did grapple with making contact - trying to only act when the moment felt right and I think I did, but maybe I didn't follow the flow... But at the same time, that is because I constantly second guess myself. And it doesn't half waste time! It felt right until I started worrying whether it was right - so then the anxiety took over. But I didn't want to miss the moment, and as you said, hex 57 suggests action albeit gentle.

One day I'll be able to act free as me and sensibly I hope

Perhaps in relationships though, it's never that simple

:bows:

tigerintheboat · Mar 19, 2011

Words Are Not Enough

em ching said:
I do want to go up the mountain as you may have guessed, so it's his call. I think our relationship is valuable but it is long distance, so that's where difficulty to reach comes in
Words aren't enough sometimes I guess.:

If you take the reading literally, words won't do it at all. It will take difficult, vigorous action; not talking about feelings, but some kind of deeds.

Tiger

em ching · Mar 20, 2011

there's nothing I can do but send words. We don't live near each other.
If only I could see him maybe I could make up for my akwardness before.
I put up barriers to spite myself

I can't do anything.
I'm gripped by anxiety at the moment but all I can do is sit tight, and hope that love really is blind and possibly deaf.
The worst part is the regret. That my neuroses and low-self esteem have possibly ruined yet another relationship.

elias · Mar 21, 2011

As I read your post I immediately thought of Hex 39

"We suffer from an exaggerated perspective. By a change of attitude the obstructions melt away... We become obstructed when we fail to do the right thing for its own sake, as when we do things to have a desired effect on our situation. When we see the obstructing attitude and change it, the obstruction melts away."

" ...Chief among obstructing attitudes is the tendency to regard other people or situations as 'hopeless,' or a given situation as dangerous, hence requiring vigorous action....

"Being fixed on watching what others do, we seem to be compelled by all their acts to such logical conclusions as: 'If I don't act now irreparable harm will be done,' or 'Even if they did change it would not be in time to make any difference,' or 'It is already too late for things to work out correctly.' Such images and thoughts accompany, and are part of, desire and fear. When desire and fear dominate our thinking, we cannot see with clarity. Moreover, the power of desire and fear guarantee a negative outcome....

"To 'see the great man' means that we need to realize that the situation is beyond our best capabilities, and that we need the help of the Sage to find and correct the obstructing elements in our attitude. With this humility we will attract help from the Cosmos to meet the needs of the situation." (Anthony)

Or maybe not... I've a tendency to fall into quite sudden and deep depressions when plans and relationships go awry, and often see this hex during the darkest periods. Take a breath, pull back, don't beat yourself up. IC can be something of a dash of cold water in the face when the ego is running away.

All will be well.

em ching · Mar 21, 2011

Thanks

Those interpretations fit my head-space exactly

Yes that's a good way of describing it - a splash of cold water when the ego runs away. Reminding you that in reality you're still in tact, in that moment, its just your ego on the rampage. But I think I've asked too many questions about this issue - bit of a marathon run in the past couple of days - so it's lost its power to calm. I will now try and be still. The worst thing is that I know assume he despises me so I despise myself. And I hope it's not a self-fulfilling prophecy. BUT as I said, I will try and be still. And remember it will pass. I've been here before.

:bows:

Trojina · Mar 21, 2011

em ching said:
Thanks
Those interpretations fit my head-space exactly
Yes that's a good way of describing it - a splash of cold water when the ego runs away. Reminding you that in reality you're still in tact, in that moment, its just your ego on the rampage. But I think I've asked too many questions about this issue - bit of a marathon run in the past couple of days - so it's lost its power to calm. I will now try and be still. The worst thing is that I know assume he despises me so I despise myself. And I hope it's not a self-fulfilling prophecy. BUT as I said, I will try and be still. And remember it will pass. I've been here before.

:bows:

I read somewhere recently, can't recall where, that all depression was caused by rejection of the self

I haven't read much of this thread, or looked at the readings...I just want you to stop berating yourself. I think your number one task is not in how to get along with others but how to love and accept yourself.

I also read somewhere the other day a good thing to do if you are constantly plagued by negative self evaluations after any interactions is to look at the thought you are having about yourself and try to replace with something a bit more loving.

You see I'm just being bossy, I don't even have anything to say about the readings I just want you to stop hitting yourself :hug:

really I think its your relationship with you thats the deal here and in other questions, i think you have to give some more time to your relationship with you, catch those negative thoughts as they arise and just alter them slightly as if you were talking internally to someone you liked

If you reject your self where does that leave you with others. You are a natural being belonging in this world as much as any other living being so you owe yourself as much respect and care as you would give any other living thing

well thats my lecture for today done

xxx

tigerintheboat · Mar 21, 2011

em ching said:
there's nothing I can do but send words. We don't live near each other.

Em, you have a pattern, it looks to me...you depend on words, and at the same time, they are not dependable (you may not be a "smooth talker.")

What would correspond to climbing up into the high places would be deeds. Less words, more deeds. Mail presents (small things) to him, mail cookies to him, make your feelings tangible, not in words (no poems). Anyone being courted would notice a succession of gifts, even small ones....faint heart never won fair fella.

Action will also break yourself our of your repetitive patterns.

Tiger

em ching · Mar 22, 2011

trojan said:
I read somewhere recently, can't recall where, that all depression was caused by rejection of the self.

You see I'm just being bossy, I don't even have anything to say about the readings I just want you to stop hitting yourself really I think its your relationship with you thats the deal here and in other questions, i think you have to give some more time to your relationship with you, catch those negative thoughts as they arise and just alter them slightly as if you were talking internally to someone you liked

If you reject your self where does that leave you with others. You are a natural being belonging in this world as much as any other living being so you owe yourself as much respect and care as you would give any other living thing

well thats my lecture for today done

xxx

Thank you

Yes I think the root of depression is low self-esteem. Feeling you're not good enough to be here, not good enough for love, and if love is what makes you happy....

Carrying negative experiences can be crippling though. I guess I'm afraid of this going wrong (as I fear) making me even less able to function fully in future, and even less trusting.

However, after not hearing anything from him again this morning, I have remained calm. Calm calm calm. Mind over matter (in this case feelings). Perhaps this is the straw that made the camel decide 'what the hell'. Perhaps I'll be able to be me more fully, with nothing left to lose. I modify myself too much which is a rejection of the self. So people can't see me maybe... But sometimes my (often grey) heart is too much on my sleeve! I should try and project more yang perhaps, to disperse the yin within rather than double it up... I know 'should' is a silly word to use here. But maybe it does come down to a decision. As the cognitive therapists would say.

I hope this makes me stronger this time. I will try and prioritise my brain over my emotions for the next few days. I feel able to concentrate on my work today which is a blessing. Need to get into the habit of compartmentalizing.

Thanks again Miss. Trojan. I appreciate the lecture :bows:

em ching · Mar 22, 2011

tigerintheboat said:
Em, you have a pattern, it looks to me...you depend on words, and at the same time, they are not dependable (you may not be a "smooth talker.")

What would correspond to climbing up into the high places would be deeds. Less words, more deeds. Mail presents (small things) to him, mail cookies to him, make your feelings tangible, not in words (no poems). Anyone being courted would notice a succession of gifts, even small ones....faint heart never won fair fella.

Action will also break yourself our of your repetitive patterns.

Tiger

well if I hear from him in the next few days I will make sure I get his address, so that I can do that in the future. I've given him a few nudges, to no response, although I may be catastrophizing (see a previous thread - I have less to occupy my time at the mo than he does perhaps). But I don't think I could send him a gift out the blue now. Might seem manipulative and sad if his feelings have changed.

Thanks for your advice :bows:

em ching · Mar 23, 2011

Hi,

I could perhaps do with a little more help. I still haven't heard from him. Yesterday I managed to stay cheerful - even elated - and keep to my work. Today I am cut up about it. Upset. Can't concentrate.

I asked: Is it my fault? (that the relationship is broken so soon)
43.3,5 > 54

43.3 - I said negative things. Was neurotic and awkward.
Hilary: concentrating on the face you present to others. This would repel relationships and lead to misfortune.
- I was self-consious most of the time I was with him. Trying to think of clever thigns to say, etc. etc. But previous encounters I have been more relaxed. But he may see this me over the more likable me now.

43.5 (again): speaks of weeds (mine in my head). I've set weeds down which have hidden the flower that was our relationship initially perhaps.

54 > I am still inferior. Not ready for a relationship. I have to bite this bullet. Accept that I made a mistake and that I'm not considered for a proper relationship by him, because of this.

I then asked:
Should I email him? Ask how he is, ask if it's over, and express my regret at being the neurotic way I was when he last saw me? But then that could be too much ego - considering he's got his own issues at the moment at home. That maybe why he can't get any comfort from me any more. Put off by the pathetic air I too often express.

41.1,3,4 > 50

41.1 > maybe saying I've already given, and giving too much will put a strain on him as well as me.
but 41.3 > talks of a close relationship between two, as long as one leaves... perhaps he's not the one. Or perhaps I need to show my commitment. (though I think he can already sense my feelings?)
41.4 > I completely feel that My faults have pushed him away. Is it too late to get us back where we were before I let myself sabotage things? Would a message be a good idea - put my mind at rest? At least I wouldn't be prolonging the agony. I am going to need it spelt out eventually.

50 > does this suggest reaching out to him will transform the situation? Or I should leave it cooking, though I think all it is doing is getting cold

Please could you help with these. I feel completely distraught.

:bows:

em ching · Mar 24, 2011

Well,

Love really is a drug and coming off it is not easy. But I made it through last night without succumbing to desperate contact, so things can only get better.
I have been the wind, now if he no longer feels it, that's that.

I feel like I'm learning a lesson I thought I'd already learnt! And was so close to making the same mistake again.

:bows:

tigerintheboat · Mar 26, 2011

Send The Message

Should I email him:

41.1,3,4 > 50

Seems like 41.4 is straightforward, just send the message, and don't worry about it.

Wikiwing: "‘Decreasing your anxiety,
Sending the message swiftly brings rejoicing.
Not a mistake.'

Often a very simple message: worry less, and either communicate what you have in mind, or accept a responsibility (or both, of course). "

Em, try a thought experiment. How would life be if you didn't need to control the outcomes? Imagine just emptying yourself out, and visualize life filling you up again.

H41: Decrease, Diminishing, Offering. The character shows a vessel being emptied out.
Just offer and give what you can, and be filled up again.

It is a sustainable way to live, with less anxiety.

Tiger

em ching · Mar 28, 2011

Hello,

Thanks Tiger. I think that reading with 41 was trying to remind me not to put myself down in my message to him, as was my thought when I had that reading and yesterday.

Last night I could take no more, so I contacted him just to see how he was and kept it simple. Didn't ask him if it was over, didn't apologise for myself for last time (having received advice not to 'relinquish the self' (41.2) which does neither party any favours (when I was initially going to project my fears and self-blame etc.)

He replied normally, cheerfully, BUT did not ask me how I was. I've been here before. I don't think I can bulldoze on through that regardless as if that doesn't matter to me. Especially as I've been in such turmoil this past week. The whole thing has made me ill - mentally and physically. I know it is my relationship with myself that I need to sort out. I need to like myself, so that when others don't like me, at least there's at least one person that does :rolling:

I would like some help with some more readings though.

After receiving the text, which was not encouraging conversation really (he answered my Qs is all), I asked: What now?

33.5 > 56
- Despite it being hard, I know deep down the right thing is to retreat. In the past I've found it very easy to sacrifice my dignity. I do need to feel pride. (difficult when you're dissatisfied with yourself and want only outside confirmation!)

Is he still interested:
35.1,2 > 38
- Perhaps he is vaguelly undecided, thinks it too difficult, that we are on separate paths. (It's just that I'd like to see him again before I jet off, but maybe that'd only be painful).

What does he want from me?
53.2 > 57
-I guess not much at the mo. But that I am there, patiently waiting in the background should he warm up towards me again

Finally, What should be my stance towards him?
11 unchanging
- Accept the situation and do nothing? In other threads I have read that this reading advises to stop worrying and find the flow, and enter into it sans ego. Which would be not trying to get what I want from him. Would you agree with that in light of the above readings, or should I continue working on the situation? Keep communicating? He may just have forgotten to ask me how I was :mischief:

although having not heard from him for a week too, it doesn't seem likely.

In a week's time I will be making a trip near to where he lives, but maybe I should take the hint that he wants to leave it now and keep quiet about it?

What do you think?

Thanks so much for all your help

:bows:

Trojina · Mar 28, 2011

I think what you need from him is some clarity over where you stand. If you had a relationship with him he does owe you that much. Just a talk about what happened between you and so on.

However if you have initiated one contact with him and he didn't ask how you are or arrange to see you then I can't see why you'd throw yourself upon his rejection one more time by contacting him again....unless through sheer mascochism

The ball is in his court...it cannot be all down to you trying to connect with him,....and thats not a love 'game' thats how it more or less is between any two people, friends, siblings, colleagues. Is any relationship viable where one never contacts the other ?

I haven't looked at the readings because i fear you are using them to evade your sense of loss...theres been many of them (readings that is) so they may be becoming just random and also because its seems so plain as to not need a reading. You call him, he doesn't call back or make further arrangements..if anyone else did that what would you think ?

The only thing I think might be worth contacting him for is a chat about where you stand now since he didn't 'finish' with you how are you meant to know whats happening ?

That would take some courage though

So I see 2 options

1. 33.5 just let it go

2. arrange to have a chat about your relationship. I really can't see the point of pretending to him you don't need to know where the relationship is at when you clearly do. HIs actions seem to indicate its finished but if you want confirmation you do need to ask outright

I think its that simple and needs nothing complex about your stance or anything.

BTW I already posted a reply and it didn't go thru so you may see 2 posts saying more or less the same thing

em ching · Mar 28, 2011

Thanks for your advice Trojan

I asked the Yi:
Should I ask him if it's over?
59.1,5 > 23
- clearing up misunderstandings, splitting up clearly?

Or Should I reply, mentioning that I'm going to be passing through next week, in the hope he picks up on it? (ie. as if nothing's wrong)
54.1,2 > 16
- compromising myself for a delusion?

It would be masochistic I suppose, but at the same time, perhaps it would be good to be honest? Although, we were never in a proper relationship - just friendship which became more - we've met up a few times in the past couple of months, and exchanged a lot of emails etc...

Em :bows:

Update: Em is firm in her resolve to be quiet, hex 11 style. SHHHH... not quite history repeating this time.

43.2,5 > 55 - help summing it up?

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