Hello everyone,

I have not visited the website for a while and completely panicked this morning when I read that Hilary has stopped providing personal readings! I can't live without her support I thought.... I did my best to interpret the hexagrams but I feel that I need some extra help, especially with the changing lines...

The reading relates to my ongoing struggle with my ex and the question: what is the best course of action regarding my dealings with him to finally reach harmony. It has been four very difficult years of going though deep emotions interlinked with custody battles, lack of acceptance on his part, mind games, bullying and me finally getting stronger. The path has been especially torturous as my five year old son has been in the middle of it and as much as I have tried to shelter him from it, I am starting to see the confusion and hurt on his innocent little face. I have moved on with my life, met a wonderful man with whom we now live but my ex seems stuck in a rut manipulating situations to make my life as difficult as possible, stirring things and continuing to play games.

Anyway, the answer I got (to a question: How best to deal with my ex at this time?) is Hex 62.1.2.4 moving to 11.

Any insight highly appreciated!

Many thanks!
X

No one wants to help?? Please?

How best to deal with my ex at this time?
62.1.2.4 > 11

The casting flying bird (62) to peace (11) suggests that a greater distance between you and your ex would give more peace. This distance can be both physical and psychological. Your concern is for the welfare of your son -- Preponderance of the Small. A good relationship between your partner (upper trigram) and your son (lower trigram) would help your son cope with the trouble the ex has caused. The judgment does not recommend any major changes: Small things may be done; great things should not be done. Line 1: unprepared actions bring misfortune. Line 2 suggests that the child would benefit from a relationship with a grandmother, your partner's mother, or an older woman in the neighborhood. Line 4 suggests doing the minimum to satisfy your ex but no more.

Keep Low and avoid the big predators

veronica said:

The reading relates to my ongoing struggle with my ex and the question: what is the best course of action regarding my dealings with him to finally reach harmony. It has been four very difficult years of going though deep emotions interlinked with custody battles, lack of acceptance on his part, mind games, bullying and me finally getting stronger. The path has been especially torturous as my five year old son has been in the middle of it and as much as I have tried to shelter him from it, I am starting to see the confusion and hurt on his innocent little face. I have moved on with my life, met a wonderful man with whom we now live but my ex seems stuck in a rut manipulating situations to make my life as difficult as possible, stirring things and continuing to play games.

Anyway, the answer I got (to a question: How best to deal with my ex at this time?) is Hex 62.1.2.4 moving to 11.

Click to expand...

A good way to "image" the whole reading is to call it "Small Movements to Peace." It does sound like you are reacting to your ex-husband, and that what you want to work on is to cease reacting and begin making yourself more invisible to him.

You would like to solve this by some "big" or definitive moves, but no such moves are possible. Keep low to the ground (Line 1), concentrate on mothering your child, staying safe and not reacting to your ex. Picture yourself as a small bird in a dangerous environment. If there are predators around, does a small bird venture out cheerily and expose herself? Probably not, if she is smart. She stays low to the ground and partially hidden, while she pursues her daily activities. She makes sure she gets back to the nest in one piece.

It sounds like Line 2 indicates you should not deal with your ex, except as necessary. I presume he has to see his son, and that is the transfer point where he manages to get in and stir things up. Be as invisible as possible around him, even to the point of insisting that he wait outside and that someone else bring your son out to meet him. You are a small bird, and you don't expose yourself to predators if you can avoid it. If possible, deal with his lawyer (minister) and not him.

Be very precise about meeting your legal obligations with regard to his rights, but also be very cautious about doing even one tiny bit more...make sure he gets his rights, but avoid your personal exposure to him. You are not going to make any authentic human connection to your ex right now...so stay out of his sight as much as possible, and fight the urge to be human and try to reconcile...he will just see it as a sign of weakness. You can't go on as you have, being open to him and letting yourself be hurt.

It is a mistake to accost him, or confront him in any way (Line 4). Yet you must continue to meet your obligations, and adapt to the situation. For your child's sake, there must be less constancy and more cleverness in the way you adapt and deal with this big predator in your life.

Many thanks Tiger and Pocossin, I think the message here is now much more clear to me, that I must minimise my contact with him as much as the situation allows, which should eventually bring more harmony as he will hopefully move his focus elsewhere. Thank you for clarifying the changing lines, I especially struggled with line 4 but it is more clear now. Once again many thanks for your imput, much appreciated!