Hi... trying to find out what is going on with a colleague with whom I work closely... got 61.3.4 changing to 1 There seems to be a lot of emotional stuff going on underneath the surface...doing a lot of intense work together on a new project, and concerned not to misinterpret the signs. There seems to be some deepening intimate connection taking place, which can be a problem with a colleague but needn't be if its handled correctly. Any ideas?

thanks

What is going on with a colleague?
61.3.4 > 1

Physical attraction is energizing the project. Line 3 describes emotional vicissitudes. Line 4 describes the danger of getting off the track.

in 61.4 one breaks from a team mate and this is good, one is free to go her own way so I'd say that after the intensity of 61.3 the people probably go their own way

Thank you both for your responses, and it's precisely that breaking from a team mate that I don't understand... at 61.4... as I am involved with this man in a whole new project that will take about 3 years to complete, to which we are both committed. We were employed to work on this together, started working on it the same time in August. We had not met before. He is involved in a committed relationship with someone else however, and I have just split from someone this past few weeks... and that break up was nothing to do with this current situation at all. We are aware of each other's personal situations. He has offered me support getting over the break-up I had.

So there are some other things at play in the background. I am aware that there is a lot of mutual resect, admiration and some attraction there, but given our personal lives as they are don't see it going anywhere.

Then there is the change to 1... which seems very positive. I am confused!

I did ask that thing I know we shouldn't ask 5 days earlier on 20th, according to the wisdom expressed on these forums it's not useful, but I asked what does he want from our connection, and got 46 changing to 44... so,... the reading said there's a big passion there, and something is changing that has its own momentum, that is fated and cannot be controlled... just got to go with it... any thoughts? I am finding it very challenging to keep this going as it is without openly speaking of the attraction, so far nothing has been said explicitly.:bows:

dakini said:

but I asked what does he want from our connection, and got 46 changing to 44... so,... the reading said there's a big passion there, and something is changing that has its own momentum, that is fated and cannot be controlled... just got to go with it... any thoughts? I am finding it very challenging to keep this going as it is without openly speaking of the attraction, so far nothing has been said explicitly.:bows:

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I really don't think the advice in 44 is 'just to go with it'. The advice is not to 'marry' the element presenting itself. That is one cannot incorporate it into ones life, though it can be useful as a catalyst, a jump start. I say jump start as one time Knot gave the example of getting 44 for jump starting a car....useful but one can't regularly start cars that way. Maybe he helps you move on emotionally in some way (hex 46) perhaps you transfer your attraction away from ex to him but the 44 would make me think you'd need to pull back a bit at at some point. Growing expectations around him could be very undermining to you and your work if hes still happily in a committed relationship and has said nothing (yet) explicit about wanting to be with you.


At some point you'll need him to be explicit won't you...

I'm not trying to depress you, it may well be a big passion for all I know...I'm just aware that for some reason often men give out these kind of signals in working relationships (and maybe its vice versa too )...maybe its their way of being friendly...who knows...its just as its your job it may pay to be a little self protective here. So many times I've seen that when things aren't as expected it can be very hard to continue to focus on the work you are doing....and then not only are you upset you struggle with your job too. So while this may be very enjoyable, and even help you to move on from your recent split...I'd advise you also have an eye on the future if you have to working together for 3 years...you may later wish you'd played it a bit cooler etc etc

That last bit had nothing to do with the IC it was mere unsolicited advice.........and may not be appropriate, just thought i'd throw it in

I think that you are looking for help justifying your desires & passions for this man, because he is in a committed relationship. Hex 46 to 44 says to me..(there are different angles, for this configuration to be looked at..that apply to this situation) that he is seeing you as a liaison, temptation that is pushing through out of all of this . Also you are being told that all of this that is breaking out, passions, desires, etc. is going to breakout out like a bad disease all over this project of hex 1. (being the project) The inner truth to it all is you needed someone to talk to, a sounding board..he was/is there for you & he made up for what your BF lacked in that area. I bet this man's GF or Wife could tell you areas where he lacks too, lol. Truth is also, us women get so starry-eyed whenever a man gives us any emotional attention or support especially when we are in a relationship that lacks it..and men well they look alot for...sex...and sometimes thats about it, if they are seeking outside thier relationship. WO

I have had these readings done by a professional and both say something different to what is being said here. The recent split was my doing. I left the BF who I felt was immature and selfish, and I am not upset, but relieved, however he continued to harrass me afterwards. My colleague asked me lots of questions about it, I did not offer the information up, and then he listened in a compassionate way. My colleague also talks a lot about the problems his 'friends' are having in relationships, and does like to get the conversation on to relationships, emotions and sex as much as he can. It never comes from me because I respect the fact he is with someone else, plus I am protecting myself as I work with him, so it isn't really appropriate to our situation. He has also gone on about the strong karma between us, coming together to do this major project etc. I just listen. In fact I did go on a 10 day vacation recently to take a bit of space from him. On my return he seemed very concerned, I think he picked up I was taking space as it was getting a bit intense. Now I've returned he has invited me to get involved in other related projects with him in another city 200km away. They are interesting so I might well do so. Today he said we could go together next week.

I'm using Stephen Karcher's relationship I Ching plus a personal reading service and these readings seem to concur. They have different takes on hexagram 44... different to the conventional association of passion for a woman with temptation or darkness. These differences in different I Chings are v confusing at tmes.

I asked how I should proceed and got 19.4- 54... in Karcher's relationship I Ching it seems to be saying open up to this and go with it, it will bring out who you really are although it is outside the norms, irregular and driven by passion. We will see. So far I have never spent any time alone with him, and soon I will.

Anyway thanks for the reflections. I think I will just trust the wisdom of my heart, and maintain my equilibrium in meditation until the rollercoaster of chemicals has passed...if indeed it does without any acting out.... :bows:

dakini said:

I have had these readings done by a professional and both say something different to what is being said here. The recent split was my doing. I left the BF who I felt was immature and selfish, and I am not upset, but relieved, however he continued to harrass me afterwards. My colleague asked me lots of questions about it, I did not offer the information up, and then he listened in a compassionate way. My colleague also talks a lot about the problems his 'friends' are having in relationships, and does like to get the conversation on to relationships, emotions and sex as much as he can. It never comes from me because I respect the fact he is with someone else, plus I am protecting myself as I work with him, so it isn't really appropriate to our situation. He has also gone on about the strong karma between us, coming together to do this major project etc. I just listen. In fact I did go on a 10 day vacation recently to take a bit of space from him. On my return he seemed very concerned, I think he picked up I was taking space as it was getting a bit intense. Now I've returned he has invited me to get involved in other related projects with him in another city 200km away. They are interesting so I might well do so. Today he said we could go together next week.

:

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Oh yeah whats an I Ching professional....? I wasn't suggesting you cool it off a bit because i thought you were 'coming on' to him...I meant in your responses to his approaches. Although he hasn't actually made any direct approaches yet.

OTOH should a working colleague be asking you lots of questions about your break up ? And why is he trying to talk about sex as much as he can to a female colleague ? To me these are warning signs that he maybe quite aware hes leading you on in a sense and may be playing on it.

In any case you'll know if this is the case because if it is he won't ever actually get around to making any kind of explicit suggestion for more intimacy etc etc and you'll increase the number of threads here asking about what he wants He'll drag the game out and you'll get more reliant on people telling you what the I Ching is telling you what he wants.....whilst he himself never tells you

I guess it makes a difference whether he lives with his current girlfriend or not. If he doesn't maybe hes more likley to make an explicit suggestion/statement/ invitation about where he wants it to go with you.


Presumably you didn't believe this 'I Ching professional' or you wouldn't be asking the apparently lesser mortals on this forum what he wants

same again

Well... the professional service was someone I pay as an astrologer and also offers an I ching service. What i meant trojan was that I paid for a reading service, not that people here didn't know what they were talking about... and that this reading concurred with Karcher's book I have, but that BOTH then said something very different to Wilhelm and the more patriarchal readings of 44, in this particular case.

My colleague invited me to go away for a couple of nights to another city to meet some colleagues in same area to network and so on, but wanted to travel separately and meet me there. I asked him why we had to travel separately. He didn't answer. So I cancelled the trip. Over the Christmas break I took an extended vacation to get some space. During that time I bumped into colleagues out and about who asked me how I put up with him. They said he seems constantly pre-occupied with my whereabouts, what I'm doing etc, and that it's noticeably charged... like the elephant in the room. I then bumped into him New Years Eve. I had emailed him and aksed to meet to discuss the undercurrents and he'd suggested we wait until New Year. NY Eve when I saw him he was in a supermarket near me, 40Km from his home. I had just got to the checkout so we couldn't talk. WhenI was through I saw him lurking in the next aisle checking to see if I was there, and his basket was empty. I called him over, said 'HNY' and c u later.... as I was in a rush to make dinner for friends. That night texts were exchanged. I asked him about his feelings... and said I was feeling quite strongly but was confused. He has since been silent, and i have not yet returned to work. I asked I ching again 'how does he see me now?' and got 61.3.4- 1.... round and round we go.... and what does he want? 31 static.
I have made a request for a work appointment to discuss the projects we are co-leading and assured him anything he feels or says is ok, I am just trying to understand...but ....no response. I have now applied to go elsewhere and started working at establishing my own consultancy business...I guess I'm tired of being messed about and am now looking to leave. It's got boring and tiring, trying to clear the air and be met with nothing but silence... which I view as a form of emotional retardation... No need to hang around for me, so I am planning to be off. Very conforming to have my colleagues, men and women both support my perception of this plus plus plus... 'how do you put up with him?