I have been putting plans in place to move to San Antonio Texas by Christmas. Friends, job and a place to live are already in place, green card documentation in process. Out of the blue he finds me in my home town and these are serious sparks flying.... we are old enough that this is not superficial.

What is the outcome/reason/result of our meeting?
20 Kuan on both sides of the reading.

Your input and reading would be most helpful and appreciated.

Dear Jacqueline,

The I Ching?s answer to your question is simply this: ?Look.?

Hexagram 20 is Contemplation, a particular kind of looking ? rather than going and looking for a particular answer, you become very still and watch, and the signs come to you.

?Watching.
Washing hands,
Not yet making the offering.
Sincerity and confidence
Like an aura.?

The picture is of someone preparing to make an offering ? to communicate with the spirits, perhaps to seek a sign. But before the offering there is this moment of meditation and purifying, standing apart and watching. The I Ching seems to be suggesting that you don?t need to go out and find all the answers at once. I know this seems barely possible when there is such pressure of time ? perhaps that is why you received this answer!

An important part of Contemplation is the effect you have on others ? even though you are not trying to influence them, they feel your presence, perhaps the quiet strength of your contemplation. This is the other side of the coin from Hexagram 19, Approaching, when you approach someone (or something) to look down, to care, direct and take responsibility. In other words, even without setting out to help and influence, you have an effect. ?Approaching and Viewing are right. Perhaps reaching out to people, perhaps seeking them.? Perhaps you are offering something ? perhaps you are looking for something you need. Perhaps these are the two sides of one coin.

The Advice section gives a more human-scale example of this:
'Wind moves over the earth.
The ancient kings surveyed the realm,
Contemplated the people to set up their teachings.?
Before they could see how best to communicate with the people, or what they had to offer them, the kings looked at them without preconceptions. Perhaps they even learned from what they saw!

Contemplating might have a hidden, darker aspect. At its heart is the nuclear hexagram 23, Stripping Away, representing the possibility that you might need to lose in certainties and confidence before you can begin to grow.

I have to admit that I don?t understand completely how this answer relates to your question ? perhaps largely because I?m not sure what you were asking for ? maybe both the deeper reason for your meeting like this and also where it might lead you?
The primary meaning of this answer has to be that you need to find a quiet inner space so you can genuinely see for yourself what is happening. Also that there should be a pause before you do anything decisive!
Beyond that first level, this is a hexagram about truth-seeking, and truth-showing ? perhaps you offer one another a way to see further and more deeply?

Please let me know what these images suggest to you. And if (after Contemplation) you find you need more specific advice, you know where to come

That was wonderful... on so many levels. It's like a the flash of light after a dark cloud passes the sun. It all seems very clear to me and so very simple at the same time.

Pause, contemplation, truth-showing and receiving..even the stripping away and loss of certainties and confidence in order to grow.

Even the pause to reflect on how to communicate; what is most needed by someone else and approaching/offering as well as reaching out for what I need .. the two sides of the same coin is clear.


This 'relationship' came along at the 11th hour. And because we are both older, experienced and know what we want in the latter part of our lives, we started talking seriously about a commitment almost from the moment we met. Fusing two households (his contains 3 children, mine 5 cats... among various and sundry other things, animals, complications) has been conversation for us on an ongoing basis. I entered into this feeling a little superior I admit... hence the "stripping away" and a loss of confidence in order to grow. I see that there is much more to the person than I immediately "saw."

The next step this week, is meeting the family, a positive, well-balanced happy group. The I Ching tells me a lot. I feel much better about The Looking, The Contemplation. The truth and honesty I receive from John is very supportive and I am sure I am going to learn an immense amount next week.

Thank you so much for your help... I appreciate it immensely.

Jacqueline