I used the wise advice of dancing white ferret and asked I Ching "What do I need to see about my situation with my partner?". The answer was 51.2.3 to 34 (Shock changing to Great Vigour).

It's an online relationship. We met in RL only once as teenagers and we reconnected several months ago. We live in different countries, we're both in different relationships. My hope is we can be together even though it seems so difficult at the moment. How should I interpret the answer?

Lots of sustained vigorous arousal 34 asks that even though you have a lot of conviction to go your way you must do so in the right order and with respect, 51 asks that you set things in order and take a good look at your situation. I would say from here you would have to get it out in the open that you want to forge ahead with this relationship and if that's what you both want then you both need to sort out your current relationships first, bring them to closure and then live in the same location to make a relationship.

If that sounds like too much then I guess you could just be butting your head in a shocking manner, but I don't think that would get anyone anywhere.

I like how real life was shortened to an acronym, as if even real life is but a symbol of itself.

Line 2 is a nice description of how what was once yours has come back to you. Line 3, this revelation is enduring and clear, and without mistake. Let us know how you go

Thank you! As I read the descriptions of the hexagrams I got the impression that I should be very conventional. Does it relate only to the big picture, as in first things first, or also to my day by day behaviour? Say, should I behave like a courted woman, i.e. not call him first etc. or can I be a modern one? When would be the best time to get things in the open? Is it time already, or should I wait, or perhaps speak about it only if he speaks first?

the images have the practical day to day advice, set things in order and examine and dont tread any path without ceremony, look at the situation, what are you willing to give up? what you willing to risk? Once you've done all that examining and you are ready to forge ahead on your chosen path go about it in the right way and order.

Its hard when the risk is your beautiful dream may end up being only just that, but also when you feel this strongly and you never even tried to explore the possibilities you may feel regret. There are two ways to avoid regret, bite the bullet and ask this guy is he in or is he out, or you can want what you have instead of wanting what you don't have and infuse all that new passion into the relationship you have.

Its impossible for me to say what is the reality for you, the reading shows whatever the reality is you most certainly are feeling very strongly about it and have a sense of urgency.

mercury is still retrograde, wait til that passes, mid next week, then also wait til mars retro passes, mid april after then the you will have had a enough time to think, examine and come up with the practical way to proceed, if you are patient enough with yourself you will find that you already know what it is you want to do.

So I had my shock, indeed. His wife's expecting a child! How should I interpret the hexagram in light of the joyful news?

well like above the advice is in the images of 34 and 51, if it were me I'd think the only path to tread would be to say congratulations and move on, and 51 is the lesson of not reacting in circumstances that are arousing. More than 31 I find it very hard not to react on impulse in a 51 situation. Its a tough lesson to master, they dont say noble one for nothing.

Some relations never have the right timing, I always think these are people I'm lining up for my next life (but then I try to stop thinking that because what if it would be exactly the same in the next life.)

I think maybe the shock and power might be a good wake up call to review your current relationship, its not usually a sign of a healthy relationship when one person is connecting strongly with a lost love online, so what is it you were looking for there that perhaps you can go and create in your current relationship? Or whatever is best for your situation. I dont know the full story obviously.

And that's not to forget the laughter of 51, a lot of times these situations when put into perspective can be lightened with a good chuckle.

anyway what are you seeing in the reading?

I'm thinking along the same lines. It's just never easy to do something final.

As to my current relationship, it was pretty shaky long before the other guy wrote to me, and I'm quite ready to terminate it anyway.

I do wonder about his marriage, because it was he who found me. He was actively looking for me for all those years. Which is probably why I'm so confused about all of it, because it's difficult to understand why it's all happening.

BTW Is there a way to ask I Ching why it's all happening? What kind of question should I ask? I would just like to know if there's any purpose behind it. For one, I still don't understand why I trusted him so much. It's the first time ever my intuition failed me. Usually it's crying out loud whenever I meet a guy.

try "what is the lesson in this situation?"

Thank you!