So, I've had this online relationship with a guy and it seemed pretty blooming until it turned out his wife's pregnant (before, I hoped he wouldn't stay with her, but now things seem changed beyond repair).

He wants me to keep writing to him but as a friend. He doesn't mean the casual "Let's be friends" thing, he really wants me to keep doing pretty much what I did, but without the previous romance, just as friends.

I wanted to say NO! but I asked I Ching and now I'm not sure.

What does it mean? If I stay, will our relationship have a chance in the future, or will we always be just friends? And will I be able to see him as such and not go crazy?

The question was:
Should I stay with him as his friend?

The answer 27.6 to 24 I / The Corners of the Mouth (Providing Nourishment) changing to Fu / Return (The Turning Point)

Thank you for your insight!

I also asked Should I stop all contacts with him? and got hexagram 9, Small Taming. I don't know if the two results should be seen as alternatives or perhaps I should first stop all contacts with him and then return as a friend?

You are asking yes/no questions..what would the best course of action for me in this situation is what I would ask..
27.6 gives me an impression that taking that course would be the best for all but will you be able to maintain the wanted distance and be ok with it is up to you to decide because the line speaks of constant awareness and it may be not worth the trouble after all?

lizzy said:

... He wants me to keep writing to him but as a friend. He doesn't mean the casual "Let's be friends" thing, he really wants me to keep doing pretty much what I did, but without the previous romance, just as friends.

I wanted to say NO! but I asked I Ching and now I'm not sure.

Click to expand...

Hi, Lizzi:

頤 yi, the name of H.27 means CHEECKS, CHIN, JAW and NOURISH
The character has two components: CHI and HEAD, the first depicts a cross section of a mouth with its upper an lower teeth cracking something like a seed
the second is a head → CRACKING + HEAD.

I believe that the advice is DON'T PUT THE HEAD IN THE MOUTH OF THE TIGER, if you're not willing of getting crazzy.

An almost literal translation of H.27:


And 27.6:



H.24 begins so:

...

and ends:



Of course, you have the last word. Only you knows if it fits to you.

All the best,


Charly
__________________________
(1) the character here used also means STERN and CRUEL, it depicts a SCORPION.
Ch.

Thank you both. Is it possible that 24 refers to the same man rather than another one? Say, if I give up on the friends thing as suggested, would it be possible the man would return if, for example, he became single for some reason?

I think that in this case 24 speaks that you return towards building your own inner worth, working on yourself and what helps you grow, for this situation may be too much for you to maintain the right distance and to bare the new course I think you are not content with at all...what will happen in the future is another question, but I think you are being warned to think about yourself first in this situation.

Thanks! It may seem strange that I keep asking about the guy's return, but it's just a pattern in my life that every man returns, sooner or later. This one will too one day, I just don't know what his role will be, and I'm naturally curious. But I don't mind another one with a clearer background or taking care of myself at the moment.

24 seems to me returning to your mission - which seems to be
finding a life partner.

27 is about the thoughts you nourish yourself with - and if you
spend time thinking about this relationship - other relationships
will elude you.

my understanding of 24 these days are about returning to self and
ones' individual 'dao' your path.:bows:

Thank you! I agree that if I keep writing to him I'll block myself from meeting someone new. So I must return on my old path.

i see line 6 of hexagram 27 says seek other nourishment.

an online relationship can partially fulfill your needs but
you need a real friend 24/7 a dependable source of
sustenance.

as one who loved a married man a very long time in the
hope he would leave I cant advise it. They have no pressing
need to leave and they never get to know how they really
feel because they dont lose you !

the only thing that really works is moving on with clear intention
to find new love. If you are meant to be together it will happen.
It is not unusual for men to come back they ALWAYS do - one of mine
after 8 years.

Dont wait - cut contact and move on - leave it up to the fates. Even
if he wanted to leave think of all the in laws mutual friends blah blah
- he will have to make that BIG decision himself. Wives have home
advantage. A stunning ballerina friend of mine is being chased up hill
and down dale by a handsome well known footballer whose wife has
just had twins........men hate not being the prime focus of attention.
In 2 years time he will be darling Daddy and preen himself on that thought.

Up to you but you only get one life - start with odds in your favour at least
best and hugs

Thanks! I agree. When he first wrote to me I didn't know he was married. He told me when I asked, and I tried to keep things casual. It didn't work, and we got pretty close pretty fast, but I still didn't know how things stood between them. Now that I do know I know I must move on.