It's been over a year now. It's way passed the time frame all the psychic told me that I would have found a boyfriend. I feel so lonely, frustrated and disappointed. I asked iching again today. I got Hex 20 to hex 53. Bad result again. Is it this a punishment? Am I that unattractive? I am so depressed about the whole situation right now.

The I Ching said that having a boyfriend is something you can either do or not do, as required by circumstances. Yet you seem to feel powerless, as if this is not under your control. There seems to be a misperception here, perhaps of your own attractiveness ... ? Perhaps deep down you really do not want a boyfriend now? There is certainly a mystery in Yi's answer.

I don't see how this is a bad result. Have you read the Wilhelm/Baynes commentary for that line, it could be extremely fitting:

This is the place of transition. We no longer look outward to receive pictures that are more or less limited and confused, but direct out contemplation upon ourselves in order to find a guideline for our decisions. This self-contemplation means the overcoming of naive egotism in the person who sees everything solely form his own standpoint. He begins to reflect and in this way acquires objectivity. However, self-knowledge does not mean preoccupation with one's own thoughts; rather, it means concern about the effects one creates. It is only the effects our lives produce that give us the right to judge whether what we have done means progress or regression.

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I don't think there's much else to be said... that commentary really sums it up. But I'll also add some line-stuff, which I've been having success with lately. lines 5 and 6 are the rulers, which represent you as the subject. They represent a resolute contemplation of everything in your life. Through this line 3 changes from night to day, and the 5th ruler stays while the 6th ruler moves to line 2, meaning an accord between your inner and outer... but it was there the whole time! The 3rd line moved, not the second. It was always only a matter of perspective. Plus, 53 has as one of its symbols a girl getting married, very auspicious for this line of questioning.

20.3 "Contemplation of my life, Decides the choice, Between advance and retreat"

Carefully think back, in your past.
In what manner exactly did you acquire boyfriend(s) in the past?
Remember, and follow the same steps.
Eg if you usually meet them at bars, go to bars, if at work, hang out with colleagues, if during sport, do more sport etc. Think and remember what works for you, remember in what type of situations you get lucky.

The resulting 53 is very promising!

You choose not to have a boyfriend right now thats all. You don't recognise that its your choice and imagine its punishment.....bizarrely


IMO this line means "you make your own mind up, you can, you can decide". Part of you decided not to, part of you is making a choice.

star123 said:

It's been over a year now. It's way passed the time frame all the psychic told me that I would have found a boyfriend. I feel so lonely, frustrated and disappointed. I asked iching again today. I got Hex 20 to hex 53. Bad result again. Is it this a punishment? Am I that unattractive? I am so depressed about the whole situation right now.

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They do talk rubbish if they give you a time frame....they tell you you will meet someone by such a date and so you may just sit there waiting for him to come. Its up to you nothing else.

You are okay, your thinking is weak

star123 said:

. Is it this a punishment? Am I that unattractive? I am so depressed ...

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Hi star123,

if you (or anybody) feels depressed, one feels tempted to punish oneself.

You ask your brain: am i unattractive? Your brain will compare yourself with the beauties on earth and of course you are unattractive - like millions other btw. You aks your brain: why for sake do i stay single? Your brain circles around and has to find some answers - of course ones that explain it all. By the end of the day you are: dumb, dull, unattractive, too fat, too poor, too tall, too small :bag: ... and so on...

You abuse your brain with questions it can not answer positively. This is not auspicious in my mind. LiSe wrote (and i think this is along the line):
Look to what your own life is and needs, and let your advancing and withdrawing be decided by that. Not by rules, custom, demands of others, fear, reactions, whatever. Live, and make sure that you really live.
http://www.yijing.nl/i_ching/index.html

神煞：天乙—寅午　福星—午　日禄—申　羊刃—酉　驿马—寅　桃花—酉　华盖—辰
干支：壬辰年　辛亥月　庚辰日　甲申时
旬空：午未　　寅卯　　申酉　　午未

六神　 伏神 　　　乾宫：风地观20　　　　　　　　　　艮宫：风山渐（归魂）53
　　　　　　　　　【本　卦】　　　　　　　　　　　【变　卦】
滕蛇　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　妻财辛卯木　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　妻财辛卯木　应
勾陈　兄弟壬申金　▅▅▅▅▅　官鬼辛巳火　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　官鬼辛巳火　　
朱雀　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　父母辛未土　世　　　▅▅　▅▅　父母辛未土　　
青龙　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　妻财乙卯木　　×→　 ▅▅▅▅▅　兄弟丙申金　世
玄武　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　官鬼乙巳火　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　官鬼丙午火　　
白虎　子孙甲子水　▅▅　▅▅　父母乙未土　应　　　▅▅　▅▅　父母丙辰土　　

Line 1 (guest) and 4 (host) are the marriage line
yǐ乙wèi未earth
and
xīn辛wèi未earth

The 未earth is in xún旬 kōng空 (empty position) of the year of the dragon and your soul (hr of reading).
This means there is no marriage this year before Feb 4 2013. You do not have a partner.

Since line 1 is the guest line, therefore there is no seeker for your hand.

Line 2 and 5 is the officer/ghost line. It is represented by yǐ乙sì巳fire; xīn辛sì巳fire. The sì巳fire (man) is in conflict with the house of the marriage, represented by the xīn hài 辛亥月 month.

巳fire (man) [snake] conflicts with hài 亥water. Therefore there is no one suitable to enter the house of marriage.

Line 5 has a man with a person hidden behind. Officer ghost xīn辛sì巳fire couples with Brother rén 壬 shēn申jīn metal. The ideal lover at line 5 is attached and not available to the dating market.

Line 3 and 6 is wife/wealth line yǐ乙mǎo卯wood and xīn辛mǎo卯wood. However, the female is in the xún旬 kōng空 (empty position) of the house of spouse. As a result, this female is not a love rival at present.

Line 3 is the change line, the hidden character rival brother rén 壬 shēn申jīn metal under line 5 appears in the change hexagram as bǐng 丙 shēn申metal.

The man is only available when the rival leaves him. It is only that time you may have a chance.

The overall hexagram has two male, two female, two marriage documents in hexagram 20. There is nothing real and positive message. There is no hope for success.

In the change hexagram, the line 5 man Officer ghost xīn辛sì巳fire is still in conflict with your house of marriage. This means the man is not interested.

In hexagram 53. line 6 produces line 5. A female pursues the man in line 5. The female is a rival and not you.

In conclusion, there is no hope before Feb 6 2013. Count on June/July 2013 to see whether you have a chance to meet someone. Inquire again after Aug 8 2013. At present, there is no hope.

Sorry to be honest. One cannot push destiny when it comes to serious matter such as meeting Mr Right to start the journey to a family life.

That is a very interesting analysis, Long Yi. Even though it says there is no hope at present, it would be good for star123 to keep an open and hopeful attitude.

Do not despair star123. There will be opportunities in the future.

Ginnie: I do want a boyfriend. I feel so lonely. I don't need a man, but I need love.

Also, not that I want to think myself unattractive. Just it's been a year, I've had some random dates but none of them are ideal. Not to mention I've had some very bad experience that I never had before I was with my ex boyfriend. That makes me think that maybe my appearance has been changed after my last relationship. Meanwhile, the bad breakup from my relationship kept making me wondering if I am prettier, my ex boyfriend probably wouldn't leave me.

ginnie said:

The I Ching said that having a boyfriend is something you can either do or not do, as required by circumstances. Yet you seem to feel powerless, as if this is not under your control. There seems to be a misperception here, perhaps of your own attractiveness ... ? Perhaps deep down you really do not want a boyfriend now? There is certainly a mystery in Yi's answer.

Click to expand...

trojan said:

You choose not to have a boyfriend right now thats all. You don't recognise that its your choice and imagine its punishment.....bizarrely


IMO this line means "you make your own mind up, you can, you can decide". Part of you decided not to, part of you is making a choice.

Click to expand...

lilly said:

Hi star123,

if you (or anybody) feels depressed, one feels tempted to punish oneself.

You ask your brain: am i unattractive? Your brain will compare yourself with the beauties on earth and of course you are unattractive - like millions other btw. You aks your brain: why for sake do i stay single? Your brain circles around and has to find some answers - of course ones that explain it all. By the end of the day you are: dumb, dull, unattractive, too fat, too poor, too tall, too small :bag: ... and so on...

You abuse your brain with questions it can not answer positively. This is not auspicious in my mind. LiSe wrote (and i think this is along the line):
Look to what your own life is and needs, and let your advancing and withdrawing be decided by that. Not by rules, custom, demands of others, fear, reactions, whatever. Live, and make sure that you really live.
http://www.yijing.nl/i_ching/index.html

Click to expand...

Thanks for both of you to help me stay positive. They reason why I think it's bad because the responding hex 53.3 is very inauspicious, the man left but didn't return.

mryou1 said:

I don't see how this is a bad result. Have you read the Wilhelm/Baynes commentary for that line, it could be extremely fitting:



I don't think there's much else to be said... that commentary really sums it up. But I'll also add some line-stuff, which I've been having success with lately. lines 5 and 6 are the rulers, which represent you as the subject. They represent a resolute contemplation of everything in your life. Through this line 3 changes from night to day, and the 5th ruler stays while the 6th ruler moves to line 2, meaning an accord between your inner and outer... but it was there the whole time! The 3rd line moved, not the second. It was always only a matter of perspective. Plus, 53 has as one of its symbols a girl getting married, very auspicious for this line of questioning.

Click to expand...

diamanda said:

20.3 "Contemplation of my life, Decides the choice, Between advance and retreat"

Carefully think back, in your past.
In what manner exactly did you acquire boyfriend(s) in the past?
Remember, and follow the same steps.
Eg if you usually meet them at bars, go to bars, if at work, hang out with colleagues, if during sport, do more sport etc. Think and remember what works for you, remember in what type of situations you get lucky.

The resulting 53 is very promising!

Click to expand...

star123 said:

Ginnie: I do want a boyfriend. I feel so lonely. I don't need a man, but I need love.

Click to expand...

star123, the best friend you will have is you. If you look into the mirrow then this is the peson who will be with you for the rest of your life. A pretty good reason to love this one, isn`t it?

I recommend you 'The Work' - you are not unattractive
http://www.theworkasmeditation.com/what-is-the-work/what-exactly-is-the-work/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTl7IshPVmk&feature=related

star123 said:

the responding hex 53.3 is very inauspicious, the man left but didn't return.

Click to expand...

53.3 is NOT the responding hex. The responding hex is 53, and it is in accord with your desire to find a partner. It is not productive to include 53.3 in your interpretation ...