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- Joined
- Sep 20, 2012
- Messages
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Hi all,
This is the next chapter to the thread divorce, who should file.
Well, actually, there have been a bunch of chapters, and sub-chapters.. To try to make a long
story short:
- the writing of the filing document was done right before Christmas, but the actual filing took place in mid Jan 2013
- I had a lot of problems with the lawyer I had retained. I'll spare you the details.
- I retained a new lawyer (who is also a mediator) end Feb. In the process we find out the first court date before the judge has been known since 22 Feb and we only learned about it 15 march by serendipity (my old lawyer never told me...). It is on 12 April, I'm terribly nervous; it only last about 15 minutes, but so much is riding on this and this will be the first time in 8 months I'll be seeing/speaking to my spouse.
- It took a couple of weeks for me to get my file back from the old lawyer to give to my new lawyer, who is looking at it this week to see whether we can be ready for 4/12 or need to ask for a postponement (which I'd rather avoid).
- My husband hounded, harrassed, monitored and strived to manipulate me every which way until the end of Feb, which did a lot of damage (at which time he stopped out of the blue, probably because he'd received the notice to appear in court). I had had the grace to tell him at the time the divorce request had been filed so it wouldn't hit him out of left field and to strive, still, to do this peacefully. He refuses to divorce (even though he was the first to contact an attorney for that very reason back in August..), which will turn this into a destructive battle I do not want and which will be harmful to all.
- In the interim, since Sept/Oct, my spouse has been quite busy on social networking sites, glued to Skype, Facebook etc. And he had been totally IT handicapped.... (I'm on none of these sites, friends informed me).
So, starting at 3:40 PM GMT + 1, I asked the Yi a few questions... I've read through the forum threads that speak of these readings, Lise's site, and both Hilary's and Legge's translations. The comments I'm including below are my intiial gut reaction to the readings, but I do not presume to know whether that is what the Yi was signaling or not.
How can I best prepare for this session with the judge on 12 April?
6.4 > 59
Don't be combattive, just firm but zen. Let go of the sense of wrong.The judge is going to look at this from a higher perspective.
This strikes me as advice as to how to behave during the session, but I don't hear suggestions on how to prepare, especially given I'm getting a late start and with a new lawyer...
What would be the effect of writing my spouse one more time to try to get him to accept the idea of divorce? It will happen, it does not need to be a war.
4.2.6>2
I may be wrong, but to me the Yi is telling me "haven't you learned yet? That's pointless! You've already done all you could until you were blue in the face and it did not help."
Could new lawyer be sucessful if she tried some sort of mediation before we saw the judge?
24.6 >27
Gasp, I must be reading this wrong, no?? I'm hearing attempts to mediate would result in disaster. But to me, mediation could only be positive - even if it weren't successful, it woudn't make things worse!
What would be the outcome of the meeting if we (laywer and I) just went without trying to bridge-build before hand?
49.1 > 31
what's hidden, secretive, wrapped in yellow rawhide?
Sounds like a bit of a cliff-hanger, but possibly not the worst option.
You all have been so supportive and helpful..Thank you for your insights again. I'm really anxious about this upcoming court date, especially given all the added complications...:bows:
This is the next chapter to the thread divorce, who should file.
Well, actually, there have been a bunch of chapters, and sub-chapters.. To try to make a long
story short:
- the writing of the filing document was done right before Christmas, but the actual filing took place in mid Jan 2013
- I had a lot of problems with the lawyer I had retained. I'll spare you the details.
- I retained a new lawyer (who is also a mediator) end Feb. In the process we find out the first court date before the judge has been known since 22 Feb and we only learned about it 15 march by serendipity (my old lawyer never told me...). It is on 12 April, I'm terribly nervous; it only last about 15 minutes, but so much is riding on this and this will be the first time in 8 months I'll be seeing/speaking to my spouse.
- It took a couple of weeks for me to get my file back from the old lawyer to give to my new lawyer, who is looking at it this week to see whether we can be ready for 4/12 or need to ask for a postponement (which I'd rather avoid).
- My husband hounded, harrassed, monitored and strived to manipulate me every which way until the end of Feb, which did a lot of damage (at which time he stopped out of the blue, probably because he'd received the notice to appear in court). I had had the grace to tell him at the time the divorce request had been filed so it wouldn't hit him out of left field and to strive, still, to do this peacefully. He refuses to divorce (even though he was the first to contact an attorney for that very reason back in August..), which will turn this into a destructive battle I do not want and which will be harmful to all.
- In the interim, since Sept/Oct, my spouse has been quite busy on social networking sites, glued to Skype, Facebook etc. And he had been totally IT handicapped.... (I'm on none of these sites, friends informed me).
So, starting at 3:40 PM GMT + 1, I asked the Yi a few questions... I've read through the forum threads that speak of these readings, Lise's site, and both Hilary's and Legge's translations. The comments I'm including below are my intiial gut reaction to the readings, but I do not presume to know whether that is what the Yi was signaling or not.
How can I best prepare for this session with the judge on 12 April?
6.4 > 59
Don't be combattive, just firm but zen. Let go of the sense of wrong.The judge is going to look at this from a higher perspective.
This strikes me as advice as to how to behave during the session, but I don't hear suggestions on how to prepare, especially given I'm getting a late start and with a new lawyer...
What would be the effect of writing my spouse one more time to try to get him to accept the idea of divorce? It will happen, it does not need to be a war.
4.2.6>2
I may be wrong, but to me the Yi is telling me "haven't you learned yet? That's pointless! You've already done all you could until you were blue in the face and it did not help."
Could new lawyer be sucessful if she tried some sort of mediation before we saw the judge?
24.6 >27
Gasp, I must be reading this wrong, no?? I'm hearing attempts to mediate would result in disaster. But to me, mediation could only be positive - even if it weren't successful, it woudn't make things worse!
What would be the outcome of the meeting if we (laywer and I) just went without trying to bridge-build before hand?
49.1 > 31
what's hidden, secretive, wrapped in yellow rawhide?
Sounds like a bit of a cliff-hanger, but possibly not the worst option.
You all have been so supportive and helpful..Thank you for your insights again. I'm really anxious about this upcoming court date, especially given all the added complications...:bows: