So here I am back again with questions about those two fractious relationships that I have been asking about constantly since last year.

Before I go into it, I'd like to say that yesterday I had an occasion to sit around with lots of people who I know like me (t'was one's birthday) and it struck me how easy it was to talk to all of them and how grateful I felt that I didn't have to wonder if they liked me or not. And then I realised that all of that applied only to my non-English friends. With my English friends, even the ones I've been friends with for a Long time and I know that they care about me, I still have that insecure feeling with and conversations are always a bit stilted. Shame really but it made me think that my problems relating to these two were purely down to the issues of them being English and me not.

So anyhow. Person A I seem to have been getting along with Much better lately. Really close and relaxed and just friendly and nice. So I asked Yi for an objective assessment of our relationship at this moment in time: 33.1.2.4 > 14
I can only sum it up as Disengagement leads to Great Things
This completely confused me considering that I feel we have been 'engaging' with eachother a whole lot, if you'll pardon the pun.
So why this? I had asked for birdseye view of our relationship, how it looks on the outside, so not how I feel about it or how he feels about it but how it actually is. I'll be scratching my head about this for a while now, so if you want to help me out, please chime in.

Now, with person B things have not been going great. There has been A LOT of distancing (from his side, not mine) and I just feel that any friendship that may have existed was purely in my head. So I asked the same question, for the actual, factual assessment of our relationship and got 35 unchanging. If you call this progress, Yi, I'd hate to see what you call retreat..oh, wait!



What am I not seeing here?!

PG, 33.1.2.4 changes into hex 9, not hex 14. To get to 14 it would be 33.1.2.5:
33.1.2.4 becomes hex 9. Which is it?

Re. Person B - "(What is an) actual, factual assessment of our relationship?"
35 unchanging.

He's busy trying to make the most of opportunities right now. I would guess by implication you could try to be one, if you want to.

- LL

Thanks lavalamp! Resulting hex was definitely 14 so it must have been 33.1.2.5 > 14

Well caught!


As for 35 - not a chance! I cannot possibly be any kind of 'opportunity' for him, and anyway he has been distancing himself, so 35 seems very odd under the circumstances.

It is funny though, it reminded me of another relationship with a male colleague who was about his age as well (except that I was 10 years younger, heh) and how we ended up not speaking for 2 years because he was acting like an idiot. It's all much better now, but I never really understood why he had been such an ass in the first place although he probably keeps wondering to this day why I had been so over sensitive. Maybe I'll ask his wife one of these days..

Equally now, (with this new person, B) the more I try to be friendly and supportive, the more distanced he gets. If I stone wall him on the other hand, he is all friendly and amicable. It's winding me up to the point that I may smack him on the head one of these days... [jk, of course not, I am just a bit exhaspearated]

Hey precision grace, Hex 39>14 - I feel it is more about your behaviour. The more you quit (withdraw) from the charade of trying to get along with this person the more amicable it is and the more they like you.

Hex 35 - continue to progress in your own way - leading by example is a better way to go here than trying to control/manipulate the relationship/friendship into something that isn't happening naturally. - Liss

hi goddesliss, it's 33 > 14 actually and it's about a different person -

35 each progressing in their own way may very well be a good way to look at the situation! Thank you.