Hello,

I would be very grateful if anyone could give me an opinion on the I-Ching answers I got today. I asked a question about an ex-lover, we went our separate ways about a year ago, although we loved each other very much. He was already married and planned to get a divorce but then went back to his wife because she became ill and was also threatening with suicide if he left her. A pretty sad situation with no real winners. We have no contact.

This is the first time I asked the I Ching about him since we stopped seeing each other. I dreamt of him last night and he was on my mind the whole day.

My first question was: "What should I do about him?" and I got hex. 1 with moving lines 1,3 and 4; second hex. 59. I guess this means to do nothing at all since the time isn't right? Not sure about what to make of 59.

The second question was: "What is going on with his wife?" I got hex. 9 with moving lines 1 and 2; second hexagram 53.

The third question was: "How does he feel about me now?" And I got the exact same answer as in the second question! (9 and 53) What does this mean?

I'm not very good at readings that aren't very straightforward. I could interpret in two very different ways if I wanted. I asked a fourth question, hoping to clarify this:

"Are they separating?"
And I got hex. 50 with moving lines 1 and 6; second hex. 34. Another answer I can interpret in two opposite ways (could mean strenghtening of a marriage or a big change as a divorce ) and then I decided to get help and joined this forum ...

50.1.6

The idea has gone around these threads many times that when you get both the first and the last lines moving, then you are perhaps dealing with a situation in which your question arises quickly but then equally quickly fades back into obscurity. There is no action. It is more like a wish on your part, and not something that is actually happening. In other words, he is probably not thinking of leaving his wife.

I am not surprised that you asked two different questions and received the same hexagrams both times. This happens sometimes.

salvia said:

This is the first time I asked the I Ching about him since we stopped seeing each other. I dreamt of him last night and he was on my mind the whole day.

My first question was: "What should I do about him?" and I got hex. 1 with moving lines 1,3 and 4; second hex. 59. I guess this means to do nothing at all since the time isn't right? Not sure about what to make of 59.

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Hi Salvia,

I've thought about your first reading, and I think I might have an idea of what it's saying. I agree with you that it's not straightforward, so take what I'm saying as more of a guess.

I think line 1 is the direct answer to your question, and I agree with you that it's saying not to do anything. My guess is that the rest of the reading is more of a description of the situation.

The first thing that I noticed about this reading was hex 59 as the relating hexagram. I think it's simply stating that you were prompted to do the reading because of a dream. Hex 59 - Dissolving, Dispersion - can mean dissolution of boundaries. Dreams dissolve boundaries in our subconscious, and cause all sorts of things to "flood" our mind ("flood" is another meaning of hex 59). Dreams can feel very flood-like - as you noted, they can stay with you all day, making you feel disoriented.

I think hex 1, in the context of hex 59, is saying that dreams are a powerful "force." You were moved to do the reading through the "force" (hex 1) of a "dream" (hex 59).

Line 3 - I think this line is another acknowledgment of the power of the dream. Here is the text of the line from Wilhelm-Baynes:

Nine in the third place means:
All day long the superior man is creatively active.
At nightfall his mind is still beset with cares.
Danger. No blame.

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Dreams come to us at night, when we're tired and our defenses are down. We're not busy like we are during the day, and we're more susceptible to intrusive thoughts, loneliness, anxieties, and the like. I don't know if all of that - or any of it - was true for you in this particular case; it may, again, simply be reinforcing that you were moved to do this reading because of how the dream affected you.

Line 4 - this can refer to a state of transition, which you are certainly in, since your relationship with this man has ended. Again, my guess is that it's simply describing the situation.

Overall, I think this reading is mostly saying that dreams can affect us in powerful ways, but they are nonetheless just dreams. Going out on a limb a bit, the implication might be that while you can't control whether you have dreams about this man, and you can't help being shaken by them, you should rely on the decisions you've made in the cold light of day. If you haven't asked the I Ching about him in a year, it seems you're handling this situation in a very grounded, realistic way. A lot of people in your situation would have spent that year in obsessive divination, and you haven't done that.

I believe the next two readings follow on from the first, and also aren't literal answers to your questions. The fact that the I Ching gave you the same answer to two different questions likely means that it was trying to tell you something that doesn't depend on the questions. What might that be? To "return to your path" - again, to rely on the decisions you've already made about this situation, and don't let the dream throw you for a loop. Here are the line texts from Hilary's book:

Line 1:

Returning to your own path,
How could you be wrong?
Good fortune.

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and Line 2:

Drawn back, returning.
Good fortune.

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Hex 53 can mean "Gradual Progress," but what seems possibly more relevant here is that the lines of hex 53 are a story of geese trying to find a suitable habitat. That sounds a lot like what you are doing, as you "transition" (line 1.4 from above) into a life without this man.

As for the last reading, I really like what Ginnie said:

ginnie said:

...you are perhaps dealing with a situation in which your question arises quickly but then equally quickly fades back into obscurity.

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That sounds exactly what happens with reactions to dreams - they can be very powerful, but they don't last long. Most dreams don't even survive waking up, so the ones that stay with us can affect us all the more.

I hope all this makes any sense! Again, I completely agree that these readings are not straightforward. I've tried to explain why I've said various things, but that doesn't mean it's correct (I would love if Yi would come back and grade our papers and mark what we got wrong with a red pencil, but unfortunately it doesn't. )

Thank you so much for taking time to respond to my questions, especially Lisa, for writing such a detailed response!

Based on what I know of the situation, you're proably right and they aren't separating. (Hex 50.1.6)

It's interesting, I got the same feeling about the nine in the third place (hex 1, first question), that it could be about the dream. I just never thought of looking at the whole answer way!

The two identical answers - the fact that the I Ching could try to tell me something not related to the question - that makes a lot of sense. This way, the answer actually starts to make sense, whereas before I couldn't figure out what it wanted to say at all.

You are so incredibly right about the dreams, it's almost like you read my mind! (I guess you probably have, in some way, at least through my hexagrams ) This relationship lasted for six years and was the most powerful emotional thing that has ever happened to me (and him). It actually took me some years to actually gather the strength to finally accept it wasn't going anywhere. I think the only way for me to survive this year was to completely block out any thoughts about him. If I thought of him I never let it last more than a few seconds. I actually had a new relationship in this year (ended a few months ago) that occupied me completely (It was pretty serious for some time) and thought I was doing well and that I got over him. I knew I still loved him in a way but I thought that all the pain and longing was gone. And then these dreams came. I think they were very short and nothing special, just us meeting by chance. I woke up, rememered them and now I can't help crying every time I think of him, it's like we ended things last week and not a year ago, all the feelings for him so fresh and just as they were. I guess if you really love somebody you can't just make yourself forget about it ...


Anyway, thank you again for taking time to think about my questions, I really appreciate it. One more question - I can't see the "thank you" button I read about - where is it?

I heard that the last Full Moon for some of us was about partnerships - and that it would stir up powerful and deep emotions. I think astrology plays a big part in what thoughts and emotions come to us, seemingly out of the blue. I know this has been an extraordinarily emotional time for a couple of people I know, besides myself.