I don't like it Hex 39.2>48

goddessliss · Jan 17, 2014

Hi,

I infrequently but far too much, in my opinion, dream of being back with my exhusband. It's been 5 years since the final end of my marriage and I've had little to no contact, nor seen him since.
I haven't been in a relationship since, just a short stint of dating here and there, in the 5 years.

I don't like dreaming of him as it hurts my heart and upsets me.

Why did I dream of my exhusband last night - Hex 39.2>48

Not sure about this except that yes I do feel I've been 'limping' along since. - Liss

blue_angel · Jan 17, 2014

Hi Liss,

I need to study the line and reading further. Its not jumping out at me right now. I can't even get my feelers out. Is it possible you have some unfinished business with him? Something unresolved or did you not get the closure you needed? I mean the only thing I thought of when I first read the line is whether or not you would be open to the idea of getting back together with him, working things out, starting over. Sorry if that's absurd for you, I do not know your story, and I do not mean to be insensitive to your situation. I just barely found peace with my divorce and I've been divorced for years myself. So I have idea of the pain and heartache. Does your struggle now relate to anything you had with him? I'm just brainstorming really. I will take another look later at different translations to see if I can get a better understanding. Sending you hugs and peace.

Blue_Angel

goddessliss · Jan 17, 2014

Hi Blue_Angel, all of those brainstorming questions are good ones. When I have dreams like last nights I think yes I would love to see if we can work things out but at the same time I think of his substance abuse that is involved and the work that would be needed for him to overcome that before we could even work on our relationship.
I doubt if either one of us got closure really - he took up with another woman after a couple of years of us trying to work things out with an on again/off again situation, and the moment he took up with her I cut all contact with him in every way possible. He's still with her.
The relationship/marriage didn't end because we didn't love each other, rather the substance abuse and our separate co-dependency issues just took its toll and we just couldn't seem to work it out.

A very sad situation to say the least but one I've accepted and tried my best to get on with my own life.
- Liss

blue_angel · Jan 17, 2014

Our situations some what mirror each others... I found this when researching line 2

"Thus when heaven is about to entrust a man with great work, it first causes distress to his mind, belabors his muscles and frame, starves his body, subjects him to want, and frustrates what he sets out to do. This is to stimulate his ambition, strengthen his character, and increase his capacity for doing what he could not do before" by Mencius
:hug:

goddessliss · Jan 17, 2014

Oh gosh Blue_Angel that's exactly what's gone on for me and you by the sounds of it?? But it's not really explaining my dreams because when it's all said and done - I love what I've achieved but I do question the amount of continuing pain I had to go through and the dreams don't help to keep that pain away. - Liss

Tim K · Jan 17, 2014

Blue_Angel, I sooooooooo feel this quote right now, it began 3 years ago and just grows and grows more powerful in me.

Liss, I think 39.2 says you need closure, don't run-away and hide from the fact that you broke up.
Face it, accept it, and it won't bother you again, you will get to your 48 Life Source.

Internal hexes 64.1(Not yet) → 38 (Setting apart).
You almost made it and got your tail wet, so what?, continue running to the other shore.

I still occasionaly dream about failing my dissertation presentation, and school exams, so much negativity in those dreams ... like I need to do something but I don't want to.

eastern_girl · Jan 17, 2014

goddessliss said:
Hi,

I haven't been in a relationship since, just a short stint of dating here and there, in the 5 years.

I don't like dreaming of him as it hurts my heart and upsets me.

Why did I dream of my exhusband last night - Hex 39.2>48

Hi Liss!

I think it's normal to have such dreams but I'm not sure it has anything to do with closure. To me 39.2 suggests the reason you dream about him is that you're not satisfied with your current situation, you haven't found yet someone else to replace him. A real love. You yearn to fill that empty space and this need triggers all these memories. The line says this is in no way your fault. Maybe the right guy was just not in the cards of destiny all these five years. But who knows what the future will bring? Don't lose hope! You know what they say, love comes to those who wait!

goddessliss · Jan 18, 2014

Thanks ashteroid, yes I've done those things I just think I still haven't really come to terms with it because of what eastern_girl has said. At the time of the breakup I lost everything that was dear to me including my own home. the job I loved as a mother and wife and a husband I loved and nothing has come along to replace those things no matter what steps I've taken or not taken to replace all that was lost.
The empty space unfortunately is still empty. So I guess yes that is why I dream what I do.

Thanks all of you that helped me sort through this - Liss

meganj · Jan 18, 2014

Maybe it's time to lay that old hurt to rest.
You must learn to live with regret not be ruled or hurt by it... Realistically it happened 5 years ago. It's time to move on from that.

meganj · Jan 18, 2014

Maybe you feel your life is a little empty and the loneliness is being filled with past hurt and regrets. Find something else to fill it with, you cannot go on like that take care of yourself.

Trojina · Jan 18, 2014

goddessliss said:
Hi,

I infrequently but far too much, in my opinion, dream of being back with my exhusband. It's been 5 years since the final end of my marriage and I've had little to no contact, nor seen him since.
I haven't been in a relationship since, just a short stint of dating here and there, in the 5 years.

I don't like dreaming of him as it hurts my heart and upsets me.

Why did I dream of my exhusband last night - Hex 39.2>48

Not sure about this except that yes I do feel I've been 'limping' along since. - Liss

I think this is normal. It's happened to me anyway. The heart doesn't just switch off connection. Well in daily life when awake it's suppressed but your heart still tries to make sense of it....and of course the painful part of the break up is that it doesn't make sense. You committed to him....he broke that commitment. I see the 39.2 as telling you that this was in no way your fault, but you are still struggling emotionally with the waves it made. Don't worry about the dreams or resist them. I think they are trying to help you heal and I think the reading says there is something real to heal from. Something unfortunate happened to you that was not of your own doing.

These dreams don't indicate that you truly wish to or would have him back, nor do they indicate you are incapable of moving on, they are just your heart trying to heal and make some sense.

goddessliss · Jan 18, 2014

Thanks trojan - that helps so much. I know you have helped me many times over these years so I know you understand how much I have tried to move on with different things. I remember not dreaming about him for the first couple of years and being grateful for that. By what you and others are saying here, it's normal and it can take a long time to get over these things and the heart to process it all. I'm grateful for the dreams in that sense. So thanks for sharing your experience too. - Liss

meganj · Jan 18, 2014

No love, you can get over it I mean if I can be left twice and find a way to successfully deal with the pain the second time then you can too.
Are you not happy with your dating life or life in general?
It's really unhealthy to be in pain over something like this for so long.

Trojina · Jan 18, 2014

meganj said:
No love, you can get over it I mean if I can be left twice and find a way to successfully deal with the pain the second time then you can too.
Are you not happy with your dating life or life in general?
It's really unhealthy to be in pain over something like this for so long.

you seem confused. Liss is talking about dreams , when she is asleep, not about not getting over him.

It isn't unhealthy to dream of someone if you have been married to them for many years and had children with them !

Liss isn't saying she can't deal with the pain, she is just talking about her dreams, at night, when she's asleep, which she has no control over. She has done many many things successfully since the break up and her situation is not particularly comparable to you and your boyfriend.

Um anyway your recent thread doesn't show you taking your own advice

http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/frie...change-his-mind-about-ending-the-relationship

meganj · Jan 18, 2014

No you seem confused. She's upset over the dream triggering past emotions and stuff she needs to let go.
Basic psychology.
I don't see a need to be rude as I wasn't even talking to you,

anemos · Jan 18, 2014

goddessliss said:
I don't like dreaming of him as it hurts my heart and upsets me.

Why did I dream of my exhusband last night - Hex 39.2>48

feeling upset is understandable and 39.2 seems to be comforting. There is a myth that you get rid of hurtful experience and there is the uncomfortable reality that what you have live is imprinted but through the inner workings they lose their power on you. Sometimes things happen and trigger some emotions. Totally normal . Dr Spock is a fiction character

blue_angel · Jan 18, 2014

Meganj,

Trojan was taking defense for Liss as I would have as well. Some of us have built a repor with each other and even made friends. We see each other through our highs and lows and for some for many year. This is not a site for belittling anyone. Trojan has caused no trouble or she would've been banned, many of us respect Trojan and appreciate her readings and advice. As none of us have to agree with another and are free to voice our opinions, trying to keep the main focus on readings, it is important to remain respectful, and in my opinion sensitive to each persons unique situation.

Your post, "you can get over it... ect. Came across as very rude and insensitive. Liss is situation is her own and unique to yours. Vise versa.

As well as "basic psychology" ect, insensitive. These statements basically write off Liss feelings and circumstances, puts everyone into a "box". I mean who exactly are you or anyone else to do so? Its probably best to stick with learning the readings, hexagrams, and lines.

goddessliss · Jan 18, 2014

Thanks anemos - yes there were a number of things to trigger off this particular dream, I hadn't thought of that. :bows:

meganj · Jan 18, 2014

Haha did you not just see what she posted ?
And as I said before I was speaking to liss, so I see no need at all for anyone to get involved in this matter because my response was in regards to her reading.
Many people like to read in between the lines, and see something else why would I have reason to attack liss? I'm being straightforward.
Liss:
Please try to glean the truth from my comments and see that I was in no shape or form attacking you, at all.
I have no reason to.

meganj · Jan 18, 2014

Aaaaannnddddd by the way id rather hear the truth from somebody then a straight faced or sugar coated lie.
If anyone has any real insights to my reading then tell me, I don't care and I definitely won't complain about it.

anemos · Jan 18, 2014

goddessliss said:
Thanks anemos - yes there were a number of things to trigger off this particular dream, I hadn't thought of that. :bows:

its a nice reading Liss its like Yi says *hug- hug* . Seem you meet some aspects of that relationship. Sometimes, you need to meet something in order to be able to depart.

Take care

anemos · Jan 18, 2014

trojan said:
Don't worry about the dreams or resist them.

.

Just read that Liss. I agree with that , given the 39.2

blue_angel · Jan 18, 2014

Gosh Liss I wrote you a long pm back and your space needs to be cleared so it wouldn't send.

I definitely agree with what Trojan and Anemos said. It is completely natural. I often have had dreams of people from my past and I feel this happens as a way of clearing space, our brains and hearts trying to figure it all out, and then clean it out. Kind of like we talked about in the thread on dreams. Another thing that can often happen is when we are in a stressful situation in our waking life our dreams will revert back to a significant time that may also have been stressful. Not sure why this
happens. As for the quote I shared I was hoping it would inspire you as it inspired me. The way I seen it is, when all of the turmoil and past has cleared you would be entering a fresh new stage in life, good times are coming.

Sorry your thread is now filled with negativity and attacks. Its quite unfortunate.

Sending you joy and peace,

Blue_Angel

Trojina · Jan 18, 2014

Liss all dreams may be said to be precious, worth something....did you see this

http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?17956-What-to-do-with-dreams-(from-the-blog)

I reckon most people if they remember their dreams will find they dream of their parents, or whoever served as parents quite often. Seems we are always still grappling with what happened with them. Same with ex husbands I think.

goddessliss · Jan 18, 2014

Thanks anemos, trojan and blue_angel (I cleared my inbox as soon as I got notification). The dream thread is particularly interesting, isn't it? gives you a lot of answers and things to think about. All of what you have said here individually on this thread and the dream thread I can resonate with.

What probably brought this dream on was the fact that I moved nearly 1,000 km's away from where my husband and I ended our relationship and where I'd been living for about 12 years. I didn't really want to leave there but I didn't really want to stay there either. I then had words with my two oldest boys which got a bit emotional as I asked them for their support in ways that I hadn't in the past and said something like 'If I had a partner, a home and a job I wouldn't have to be asking for your support" and I guess my heart kicked in and reminded me that I had all these things when I was with my husband and really that was all the dream was about, processing. - Liss

Tim K · Jan 18, 2014

I agree with what megan writes [only, and only in her last post, about being here and now, trying to not dwell on the past, but it was deleted I presume]. I just wanted to say that her insights of being here and now is a basis for self-awareness and vice-versa, it's Zen. If you observe what the mind does and thinks every second, you become self-aware and centered at the same time. Zen is like fitness for the mind, do it regularly enough and your mind will become disciplined and strong.

A little Koan about letting go:

Muddy Road

Tanzan and Ekido were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling.
Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.

"Come on, girl" said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.

Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself.

"We monks don't go near females," he told Tanzan, "especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?"

"I left the girl there," said Tanzan. "Are you still carrying her?"

I didn't mean to lecture, noway. Just an example of letting go.
My thoughts are that the dream, a recurring one, is a signal that there is something that has not been worked out yet. That's all.

goddessliss · Jan 18, 2014

Now that's enough meganj - you've no idea what you're talking about with me. Just write me off as someone you can't help.- Liss

meganj · Jan 18, 2014

....... Uhm ok.

meganj · Jan 18, 2014

Goodluck

Trojina · Jan 18, 2014

What probably brought this dream on was the fact that I moved nearly 1,000 km's away from where my husband and I ended our relationship and where I'd been living for about 12 years. I didn't really want to leave there but I didn't really want to stay there either. I then had words with my two oldest boys which got a bit emotional as I asked them for their support in ways that I hadn't in the past and said something like 'If I had a partner, a home and a job I wouldn't have to be asking for your support" and I guess my heart kicked in and reminded me that I had all these things when I was with my husband and really that was all the dream was about, processing. - Liss

you don't have to feel bad about dreaming of him. It may well be some part of you does want back what you had then. That's understandable, nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe you still want him sometimes, that's nothing to be ashamed of either. You can't erase him from your brain, that wouldn't be human.
When you are awake you can't admit these feelings to yourself too much as it would stop you moving forward so it works itself through you when asleep.

I don't like it Hex 39.2>48

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