I asked the Yi for a picture of our life together (me and my partner) but I asked because he had an outburst at nothing yesterday that really was alarming to me. My newish partner has a short temper. Now, no one in my family, no relatives, and none of my friends, are easily angered people. My partner is in a highly pressing and stressful situation much of the time so I know that's the cause for it and I try to be understanding. We are separated at the moment (by an ocean) and I've been working 80 hour weeks to make ends meet. I'll see him in March. Yesterday I had no time to send a long message and in advance he knew we'd not be able to speak. I sent a short message with smiley face and a heart.

He got really upset and found them irritating when sent to him "without words" because 'smiley faces dont warm his heart." He also erroneously sent my father a reprimanding email he intended for me in response to a link i'd sent him. The combo of the two messages made me feel attacked.

So I asked the YI for a picture. To me these are red flags. In the past he has gotten angry over justifiable things but two other times in recent months he's gotten furious over what most people would say is nothing.

Because I'm not with him, I can't judge what this means. But I am wondering if I should call off the relationship entirely. We're planning a family and a life together but these outbursts to me -- well I told him I wont have that in a family atmosphere. DEFINITELY not around a child.

The Yi gave me 18.2.3 > 23.

I read what the archives had to say on these threads and others with similar readings got opposing interpretations:
1) deal with the "abuse" that is your fault (i didnt send him enough words) and the rest (his abuse in the message) is his to deal with.
Something needs to be nurtured fixed.
or
2) just abandon the relationship, get out now and start over.

But which does the YI mean here??
__
Notes from archives:
18.2.3 "making an effort to heal what is damaged, to restore things the way you want them to be, making things right, not pressing too hard, not being too energetic or too quick" and " suggests more dealing with whats already there than branching out to a new relationship"
vs "there isn't exactly any promise of improvement in the reading"
and '"advising you to completely release this former attachment, thus clearing the field for a new successful one to form".
Line 2: "mother is the one who nurtures, provides what's needed, and creates a safe space for growth to maturity. Corruption in the mother that 'does not allow constancy' isn't allowing complete growth: the seeds can't ripen. This might be because of a lack of care"

Line 3: "This line might be talking to your own fathers behaviour to you or your husbands attitude. You want to fix things, get talking with him again, but there's something blocking this from happening. this line is a go ahead. If you can gain insight into line 2, why the nuture and support was corrupted, and explain this to him, then line 3 is saying for you to do this. Its not going to be an easy conversation, but it needs to happen. And you need to go the extra distance to make this conversation happen"

23: "Shedding, splitting a part, stripping away the outmoded
finding the middle way, sitting tight, persevering, waiting it out, avoiding action, letting go of being sensitive to how others respond...not intervening"

What's going on in our relationship? 18.2.3 >23

Hi Elizabeth,

I take this to mean the problem is double-sided and you both made mistakes. And you both need to work on them. The blame is equal. So maybe it's time for a sincere talk to get the relationship back on track. At least this was my experience with those two lines.

Hope this helps.

Thanks easterngirl. I hope that is all that is needed. I dont want to have to end this over a temper issue (?!)

The first thing I noticed with this reading was that the relating hexagram is 23, Splitting Apart or Separation. Am wondering if the background to these problems might be the physical distance between you.

You mentioned a couple other odd temper outbursts - did they occur before you were living so far apart, or just since then?

Mm good question. They occurred... I think one may have occurred RIGHT before I was leaving. Yes there was one time he hung up the phone on me. and I said do not ever do that again or you will not hear from me again. And he hasn't done it since. But mostly it has been since i left. For example the other day (this was minor compared to what happened yesterday) I told him that there are no flights (on any carrier) on the day I need (to go see him). And he got really furious! I mean i guess I should take it as a compliment, and he did say he wasnt up set at me, per se, but all these roadblocks we keep encountering. But I didnt get angry about it (I panicked... but was not mad at any point!) i just had to spend more money and book tx on another day...

But so a lot of it is the distance. What i dont know is if we are living together long term how often this sort of thing will happen. Bc in my view it should never happen. There are other ways to express emotion but red hot anger ..no...