If you're trying to learn by your mistakes, and you ask "what did I do wrong?" And Yi answers 48.5>46. How is that an answer? What is wrong there? What would you take it as saying to you?

Hi blue_angel - you didn''t walk your talk. There are a lot of people who have the answers and inspire others many times over but unfortunately they don't have the self esteem to apply it to themselves. I think it's time for you to realise what a lovely person you really are. - Liss

Hi Blue Angel,

I fully support what LIss has said 48.5 means that you are the well with the clear water., but cannot see it (that I interpret as the warning 48 about breaking your bucket meaning misfortune) So, there is nothing you are doing wrong, and all you need to do is realize that. 46 seems also encouraging, in that you are already making progress, so don't worry about learning from any hypothetical mistakes.

best wishes

maui

Thank you both for your kind words and taking the time to answer. I had been racking my brain. So confused. Cried til there was no more tears. And when I was finally exhausted and had no more thoughts and began to drift off to sleep. A quote rang in my mind. Like someone speaking to me. "The way people treat others is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves". I couldn't have a person treat me with kindness and not return it.

I guess I have to find the people that show they love themselves. Not egotistical people but the people that's light really shines. You know? And I have to recognize the people that don't, thats light isn't quite shining yet. Its okay to love them or help them but not if its going to dim my own love and light. Have to love empty I guess and recognize the love is within me. It helped some. Just enough to plow on another day and know it'll be ok. It helped more to read your words.

I have to go rest and nourish my soul. It feels like after the storm, yet not quite sure if this storm is really over or if I am in the eye of it. Bruce's quote "Life is a course in resistance training" comes to mind. Knowing when to hold back and when its safe to go forth is not something I do very easily. I plow through like hell on wheels. Still haven't learned how to flow with the time. So I did a reading "Is this is situation finally over?" Not the best worded question but the answer was 55. I would really like it to just be over. To be able to go on my way peacefully and allow others to go their way.

Kind of feels like the answer was what both of you said, like it was saying something like "the well already has cold spring water to drink from. Now drink from it you dumb woman lol." " No need to go looking for other wells to drink from."

So the last question is "What steps will I have to take to end this situation peacefully?" Reading 28.2.6>33

I like what LiSe has, Line 2- "A withered poplar tree grows shoots. An old man gets a real woman as wife. There will be harvest. Always realize that after summer comes winter, after active life comes old age. Take precautions so life will go on. Join with others who also bring in a part of life: together life will be full for all."

and Line 6- " Crossing at the wading place and drowning. Pitfall. Without fault.When undertaking great things it is impossible to avoid every danger. Have the guts to take risks. And when pain, sorrow, fear or loneliness come your way, then accept them as a road to deeper and farther pastures for the soul."

It's difficult to drink of ones own pure water if you're using it to put out the fires upon another's feet.

Like many of us, who have done our best to care for others, and who have received so little appreciation in return, to then turn our care toward ourselves. After all, how good can our care really be? And, how truly deserving are we? That requires a loooong pole to reach faaaaar down into the well of life, and not break our earthen vessel.

You've probably heard this before but, i'll mention it again.

What someone else does says Nothing about you, and Everything about them.
And a clean well can be poisoned by someone venemous.

I would ask you to examine the prayer you made, and to stop making it.
If someone wishes to get the anger out of them, it shouldnt be done through another person.
A doctor doesnt remove a bullet from someone by putting it into himself.
And the meanness in that person is something They ARE HOLDING ON TO, they are the one that has to relinquish/release it. And they will only do so by realising the consequences of their actions.

48.5 you were freely giving and nourishing....
to the wrong person, i feel.

I've done this before myself.
Giving and giving to someone who did not appreciate what i gave.
i wasn't able to change them, only to exhaust myself.
We cannot help a vampire by feeding it.

Dear blue_angel, i hope you will be kinder to yourself by giving to people who truly are good to you.

The reflection you speak of is a reflection of how we really feel deep down inside about ourselves. It's obvious your self esteem is not as it should be and it's all about learning DISCERNMENT. - Liss

I guess the way I wrote my post was misunderstood. Which is understandable considering I was tired and emotional. Sorry for the huge emotional outburst. Not making excuses but seems if a bad event takes place on or around the full moon my emotions erupt like a volcano. And I end up looking back like geez its not really that bad. No ones perfect. Not even me. I was having a really bad day. When I spoke of a repeat, it's not with this person. But there has been what I see as unwarranted pain given by many different people and different circumstances since childhood. Parents, bullies, friends, loves. Just people. People I was kind to, should've been able to trust. I was reflecting back to the past. Not that I am a victim. It took strength and a hard will to survive all I have.

What happened here, is quite a few other people got involved, in what started as a very bright and beautiful connection. There was a whole lot of jealousy involved. A whole lot of lying. And unfortunately
my connection was very ignorant. They didn't trust me. They trusted all of these other people. These people that were trying to sneakily manipulate me and sneakily manipulate them. In the end they were believed over me. Which I feel as a betrayal. Which is fine. I can not make someone see the truth. I would rather as painful as it has been, step out of this vicious circle that has been formed and go on my merry way. The thing is I have been nice to all of these people. I like to help people. I have not wished harm on anyone. So why people do this type of thing, I guess there are just mean people.

Thank you, yes Moss Elk I do agree. That's exactly what I told them in the goodbye. "What someone else does, says Nothing about you and a Lot about them." And I told them they lost a really good friend but seems we all have to learn the hard way. Hopefully eventually they will learn to love themselves and see the truth. This person is SO easily influenced and controlled. Its sad. They really have potential. They really have an inner light. But instead they are allowing all of these people to control,manipulate, and bring them down. There are two individuals that played a big hand in this deal amongst a few others. What a mess. Yes, I was lied about, talked against. Geez man, talk about crucifying someone. I had to strategically get down to the truth myself, although I had already suspected.


It seems like the more you let your light and love shine the more people want to dig their claws in, or teeth I guess. Testing your will. Then again, don't let them think you're weak or see you in a weak moment, they'll pounce on that too. People are so quick to judge or project themselves onto you. Seems there's so very far and few in between people that are actually sincerely just wanting to help these
days. Or freely giving love, care, kindness. Its almost like even if you want to help everyone, you have to walk pretty softly. So many wolves in sheep's clothing. I hate to see someone get taken down by people that are going to do them harm. But I feel betrayed. I wash my hands.


Its amazing I could care enough to scrub feet, yet I couldn't be trusted. How many of those people do you think would actually be there for them? They wouldn't. They are like crabs in a pot stepping on others to get to the top. If I can't get up neither will you, type of attitude. But I did care for this person. And hopefully they will figure it out on their own. I actually don't feel I have low self esteem. So I'm not taking that one on for myself. I do however try to be as humble as possible. So I don't brag. I don't really feel the need to. I do know my worth though. I do know I got the luck of good looking genes. Being pretty on the outside however, has never helped. All the women hate the pretty women in the first place. Men want to mulest, rape, or take ownership of the pretty women and make them their trophy. Or just play a game see who can catch her off guard first. Who can "nail" it first. Not an easy society to shine your light in. But I do it anyway. And don't people hate that. Half the time people only see what's outside and never what's inside. People will hate you for something. Your looks, your light, even your love. Geez louise that sounds bitter.

Tomorrow will be a better day. I don't intend on stopping my lessons now. I love to learn. Don't intend on stopping my adventures or experience in love. Think I'll just keep the circles open though. 1 friend is good enough. I don't need many. Think I'll go ahead and continue to shine my light and love. No ones put it out. Doesn't seem anyone can. As far as the healing... I was studying Reiki. As well as Kundalini. I do believe I have quite a bit of protection around me. But a new friend told me, stomp the energy into the ground after. Shake your hands. Releases the bad energy back into the earth. Believe it or not it works.

There are so many gifts we can give each other if only more were open to it. I intend to continue studying this and healing others. And yes I take my own warm candle lit baths and give myself massages too and take time for my own healing and nourishment... I am appreciate of your concern though. But this path is calling me.

The short version is. It could've been a good friendship, connection. However, other people trampled all over it with their he said, she said, he did, she did. Kid crap. The first couple of months or so had some extraordinary moments of bliss and also came with some enlightening lessons. My pride and my ego were probably hurt more than anything.

blue_angel said:

The short version is. It could've been a good friendship, connection. However, other people trampled all over it with their he said, she said, he did, she did. Kid crap. The first couple of months or so had some extraordinary moments of bliss and also came with some enlightening lessons. My pride and my ego were probably hurt more than anything.

Click to expand...

Thank you so much, your experience and thread are so similar to what i'm currently experiencing its baffling. Thank you again!!!