It is my first time, that I am writing on this page. Me and my ex-girlfriend have no contact since february, actually since november last year. It was really unpleasant to me, because every time we started, some really bad behaviour from her side forced me to end this whole thing. And I am really a person with tolerance and I showed her that I care, tried my best and was sincere. She was never sure about us, always calling me in to smash it again. I was never sure what she really wants. I was on that point, that I just could not tolerate some things anymore. Therefore I dont want to make the same mistake, cause I have the feeling that she fooled me, her acting towards me leaves me with no option anymore. She is a very instable person, but for some reason I love her and I really take care and there is some kind of connection between us. Some sort of attraction.
Few days ago we saw each other by chance, just said hello and passed on each other.
The same evening I received a sms from her, that I did not answer. Always when I did, that circle started again to end up with me making a fool of myself.

I asked I ching one question: "WHAT IS BETWEEN ME AND HER?" (it was meant like what is about me and her) and received 38.5.6.
I needed my time to let her go, allthough I love her. It was hard. I know her, she wants to stay in my life somehow, but there were so many things that are not allowing me to "stay friends" - so much energy and substance wasted, Its not possible for me.

My way at the moment is to make my life better for myself, to concentrate on other things, and it is going well. What is the real advise from these lines?

Thank you and sorry for some grammatical mistakes.
Greetings to all.

It seems the advice is to go to her and talk it over. Looks like any regret will disappear. Seems as though there may be a good union here, a good connection. You may not be seeing things so clearly. If you can discuss with her your feelings and listen to hers, I think there may be an agreement on both sides.

She is not your enemy but your partner, says Yi. Sometimes this is the way a good relationship begins. I know it's hard to understand.

Could you kindly let us know how this works out? I just received 38.6 myself in a similar situation.

That's the thing about relationship questions: there's always such a rich mix of emotional patterns flowing from each person that it makes it hard to find a definitive response that addresses the whole multi-dimensional picture. Since the I Ching is concerned with the Present maybe the Yi effectively freezes that moment for the reading yet overall, the real situation is incredibly fluid. Which is why I always ask a coupla of follow-up questions to be absolutely sure.

Anyhow, all that aside, the reading does seem to suggest that this connection can endure. It may be that once the chemicals have subsided and the energic "hooks" have lessened there maybe room for a great friendship there. I've had these lines indicating this in the past where a romantic relationship didn't really work since it was a friendship that was required. It's also true that a deeper love grows out of friendship first, rather than the usual jump into sexual attraction which burns everything up so that not much is left...

Either way, the signs are hopeful for some type of connection to remain so, just give it time.

I wish you well.

I once loved cocaine too. One must choose their relationships based on their long term benefits, not their short term rush. I think your gut knows exactly where this is at; follow that... unless you are addicted to the drama.

Line 5 changes to 10, which identifies what you've described of past go-rounds with her, which sounds to me like walking on eggs loaded with dynamite.

Line 6 changes to 41 which advises to reduce the passion. Line 6 also speaks of the way of communicating from an uncertain and uncommitted position. A free person can communicate while not jeopardizing their own sense of security and well being. If you choose to communicate, don't forgo your confidence in standing alone. That's the only way you have a chance to not lose yourself in the addiction and drama she usually stirs up in you. Don't ignore your differences, stand firm and do not give away your individuality. Then there's nothing to lose by talking with her or not talking with her. This kind of freedom is a wonderful thing.

Sooo,

Its actually 38 line 4 that changes to 41. What you describe sounds more like line 4 as well. 38 line 6 changes to 54. How does that change you perspective? Or would it remain the same? It seems the line speaks of misunderstandings that lead to mistrust, when infact this is your friend or your bride to be if taken literally. To understand your view of the reading, where do you get the idea of addiction to drama? Or is that your personal experience with this
reading?



The entire reading 38.5.6 changes to 58 (joyful exchange). I just don't see how the entirety of this reading would give such a negative undertone to be compared with "being
addicted to cocaine"?

Blue, you are correct, line 6 does change to 54, my error. It has no impact on my interpretation of the reading though. It is an addiction he speaks of, and so the likeness to cocaine. He speaks of it as a love/hate paradox. And to answer your question of it's likeness to 58, if you're assigning joy to 58 (though 58 has meanings other than joy, such as melancholy, the other side of 58's coin, as well as exchange of all sorts), then you might consider the fan yao kind of joy of 58.6, which Wilhelm calls "seductive joyousness", which describes cocaine or other addictive drugs extraordinarily well.

This sounds like an altogether unhealthy relationship to me, other than just the short term rush.

A vain nature invites diverting pleasures and must suffer accordingly (cf. the six in the third place). If a man is unstable within, the pleasures of the world that he does not shun have so powerful an influence that he is swept along by them. Here it is no longer a question of danger, of good fortune or misfortune. He has given up direction of his own life, and what becomes of him depends upon chance and external influences. Wilhelm 58.6

Click to expand...

Actually, the only truly positive line in 58 is line one, which is self contained inner joy. Folks ought not take hexagram titles too generally.

I asked I ching one question: "WHAT IS BETWEEN ME AND HER?" (it was meant like what is about me and her) and received 38.5.6.

I think the Yi is not really going beyond the description of your recent meeting and current status. You both met, recognizing you as sincere (5) and not an enemy (6), she broke through the estrangement (5, 38) by texting you to clear up any misunderstandings (6) so that things between you two could return or end on a more positive note (58).

I think what might get you the clarity you are really seeking is to ask another question like what could I expect if I renew the relationship with her or etc?

beatpoet