About the letter I wrote with the intention of mending 23>33, 33>18, 39 unchanging

Last February I quarreled via email with a theatre director I was supposed to work with. Things went bad because a third person got into the way and insisted that I should be out of the play.
So I wrote a letter to them both telling them how coward they had been in this all affair.

One week ago I wrote another letter to the director only, not apologising (what I wrote is still valid to me) but pointing out that those sharp words of mine were due to my disappointment, anger, frustration at how I had been treated. And I assured the director I had no intention to hurt her or stab her, it was just a necessity for me to write down what had happened.


Having received no reply, yesterday I asked:
What is the situation with the director now? 23.3.4.5>33
What effect did my letter have? 33.2.4.5>18

doesn't look positive at all..

It strikes me that 33 is in both questions. So does it mean that she's retrieving or that I should?

18 is mending. again. The letter I wrote to her one week ago was supposed to mend! When I asked last month how I could possibly get close to the director again the answer had been 18, mending.

So..
Did I succeed in mending? 39 unchanging (impasse)
ok, I presume I didn't


What is the nature of the impasse? 28.4>48

I read it as: it's too difficult a situation for you, you can't bear it. It could be because I'm the only one who wants to mend while they don't care. So I'm doing all by myself. could that be?

What is the situation with the director now? 23.3.4.5>33
His feelings are hurt, you have burned the bridge, retreat is the only option.

Wilhelm, 33:
The mountain is under heaven: the image of retreat. Thus the noble keeps away from the common person, not with anger but in a reserved way.

What effect did my letter have? 33.2.4.5>18
Trying to fix something that can't be fixed, like a sour milk.
Daniels:
2. You are finding it difficult to let go.

Legge:
4. Shows its subject retiring notwithstanding his likings. In a superior man this will lead to good fortune; a small man cannot attain to this.
You don't want to withdraw, but it is the proper thing to do here.

Daniels:
5. You must be wise enough to know when to withdraw.
It's time to walk away.

Did I succeed in mending? 39.0 (impasse)
No, because the way is blocked.

What is the nature of the impasse? 28.4>48
Crowley:
4. The beam curves up - loyalty did the glueing.
They don't support you, and they don't want to change the established order of their lives and behaviour.

18 unchanging means nothing you can do will fix it. 33 twice means that YOU should retreat, because You are asking the question.

I wish you to find a wonderful like-minded theatre director, working with whom will be easy. They can't be all that bad, right?

Well she's extremely reknown to be that bad. But she's also good, that's why I've always wanted to work with her. The problem is she's always found an excuse not to work with me (the latter being one of her actors that didn't like me) while she's always kept saying she actually wanted to work with me, and she had me going to her city innumerable times, sometimes even sending me away the day after I had just arrived (because things had changed, she would say).
That made me anger to the point that I spoilt everything with that letter, where I called her a vile coward.

If it can't be fixed nevermind, I am really proud of that letter, and would definitely write it again

thanks for the readings!

olga said:

That made me anger to the point that I spoilt everything with that letter, where I called her a vile coward
.

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Er, maybe not necessary to point out but, name calling doesn't usually win friends.
You know how she is, best to move on.

But they were two coward pigs indeed, what were I supposed to call them?

I tend to call things by their names, which doesn't win me friends that's true. But when people make a fool of you and invite you to an audition and then say you've passed and then say no, we don't actually want to work with you, and you've spent 250€ on flights to go to that city, what would you call that? I couldn't pretend that nothing had happened.

The previous year had been similar, with the director inviting me to see rehearsals and then telling me she had changed her mind and why wouldn't I go to the beach instead.
Well why wouldn't they go, the bloody pigs, and drown themselves!

I don't even understand why I wanted to get close to that person again!

Should you ever see a quesion of mine on the director and on how to get in touch with her again, please stop me and tell me to get lost! I deserve much better in life

olga said:

I don't even understand why I wanted to get close to that person again!

Should you ever see a quesion of mine on the director and on how to get in touch with her again, please stop me and tell me to get lost! I deserve much better in life

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That's the spirit! Fool me once - shame on you, fool me twice - shame on me.
I would've given up after the 3rd time she 'changed her mind'.

18 unchanging means nothing you can do will fix it.

Click to expand...

Actually when asking what I could do to get close to her again I got 18.1.4.5>1 and thought that

18.1 meant that little had been damaged
18.4 invited me not to bypass and forget what had happened, an invitation to clarify things
18.5 I have no success in fixing things by myself but with the help of others I will be able to start a new set of things (not an artistic union with the director but a whole new set of things)

Generally I had seen it quite positively as I also thought that I had followed the director (17), I need to mend (18) and then I will get close to her again (19).

But as you said there is a block (39) so that's why 19 won't probably happen.

Since this was a letter and not a phone call or face to face. How do you know she received it? 39 block. That can and has literally meant the letter has been blocked from the recipient. Not saying that's for sure what its saying now but it's a possibility. Do you know she received the first letter even?

it's true, she might not have received it

Although that would be strange as she has always received my previous mails and replied.

She may have blocked me but I doubt it - she wouldn't care to that extent

Well, five years on and my i ching knowledge is much better. I can't help laughing seeing these casts and wondering at the time whether there were any chance that I could mend this up!