Why do people want to destroy me? 63 unchanging

Olga Super Star · Oct 17, 2014

hello there everyone

I still have this problem in my life of people that after a while they know me (a little while, just a few months generally) suddenly and with no apparent reason (at least not that I can lnow of) change their attitude towards me, stop speaking to me or start looking at me as if I were the enemy, totally avoid me or in some cases start a war against me

I really don't know why this happens, I don't know what happens.
It has sometimes happened with people I had got very close to and to whom I had said that I have this problem. And when it happens I ask them to just tell me WHy they're doing that, what happened. And they can't reply.

So 3 years ago I had asked "Why do people want to destroy me after a while they know me?"
63 unchanging

uh?

might it be because I'm unpredictable and am feared as a menace to a predetermined order?

xuesongyu · Oct 17, 2014

Hello friend:
When there is no changing line, you should consider the hexagram code of the hexagram.
Hex 63 stands for "finished", and the hex code says "At first you have good luck, but finally you will get into trouble." In my opinion, many people know you because of your job(not because they want to make friends with you), they just want to seek help from you temporarily. Once their problem has been solved, they will "change their attitude towards you".
In the codes of I Ching, you can find many descriptions about morals. I Ching believes that good morals will bring good luck. So what you need to do is develop good character, then you will finally have good interpersonal relationship.
------------------------------------
I Ching Codes Predicting the Future
http://www.amazon.com/kindle/dp/B00KRPT8G0

ginnie · Oct 17, 2014

olga said:
3 years ago I had asked "Why do people want to destroy me after a while they know me?"
63 unchanging

63 is a picture of water over fire, as if a pot filled with water was sitting atop a stove. I think the message for you is to keep it on the boil, keep adding water and keep adding fuel, as that is the way you will eventually come to understand what is affecting your relationships. None of us can see ourselves, but over time perhaps some things can become clearer to us.

Olga Super Star · Oct 17, 2014

No one wants help from me as I have no job ..

Could this 63 mean that things change and I tend to want to keep them the same?

Trojina · Oct 17, 2014

olga said:
hello there everyone

I still have this problem in my life of people that after a while they know me (a little while, just a few months generally) suddenly and with no apparent reason (at least not that I can lnow of) change their attitude towards me, stop speaking to me or start looking at me as if I were the enemy, totally avoid me or in some cases start a war against me

I really don't know why this happens, I don't know what happens.
It has sometimes happened with people I had got very close to and to whom I had said that I have this problem. And when it happens I ask them to just tell me WHy they're doing that, what happened. And they can't reply.

So 3 years ago I had asked "Why do people want to destroy me after a while they know me?"
63 unchanging

uh?

might it be because I'm unpredictable and am feared as a menace to a predetermined order?

No of course not. I see this answer as possibly saying it is not that they want to destroy you it is simply that the relationship is over. Already done. Might it be that it was simply time for you to move on from these relationships ?

Oh another possibility is perhaps you don't go on maintaining the relationship ? I mean the only danger with 63 is possibly imagining one doesn't need to do anything further...that all is settled, whereas some effort is required to keep things going.

Once you had 'attained' these people as friends did you sort of stop making an effort ? I mean might you have stopped being considerate or something ?

But to be honest the people to ask about this is those people themselves....and you did ask so what more can you do ?

1eleven · Oct 17, 2014

Nothing really ever ends.

"At the start there is good luck, at the end, there is disorder." - Jou

The ruling line points to carelessness.

Trojina · Oct 17, 2014

ps...also this is a bad question because it carries an assumption that people were trying to destroy you.

No one can destroy you and I would urge you not think in those terms as it isn't helpful to you. I think you need a better question such as 'how can I improve my relationship with X' and so on.

Or maybe you need to ask small questions as the relationship progresses.

Olga Super Star · Oct 18, 2014

mmh so you say carelessness and unconsiderate, no efforts made when necessary.
It might be in some cases.
Although if I thought one of my friends were unconsiderate I would tell them! Not just unclick them as friends on facebook then disappear saying "nothing happened" when it's pretty clear that something did happen!

In other cases it concerns people I barely know, acquaintances of a few months. They would turn agaisnt me all of a sudden with no apparent reason.

Take one of my house mates (the only other girl apart from me, the other two being guys). Somtimes she's really nice (usually when it's just the two of us). In front of other people she changes, makes the attention of the group fall on me on a bad way (making jokes or statements about my being stupid, so that everybody laughs and I can see her eyes all of a sudden getting evil as if she wanted to destry me).
With the housemate I have the feeling she's sort of jealous.
Do you read that in 63?

Anyway it was a cast I did 3 years ago, may be I should throw the coins again and concentrate on specific situations.

Thanks folks

Olga Super Star · Oct 18, 2014

Trojina said:
But to be honest the people to ask about this is those people themselves....and you did ask so what more can you do ?

I'm not sure I got that.

Anyway what strikes me is that people generally get NASTY towards me and want to sabotate my life

Remember my former housemate that forced the director to kick me out of the play? well working with that director was the dream of my life and I spent 5 years following her. So it was not just a matter of a play.. he destroyed my life!

if I think someone is careless towards me I would probably disappear as well but I wouldn't go as far as to try and have him out of the way!
there is some sort of "getting on people's nerves" which I don't understand where it comes from

RindaR · Oct 18, 2014

The image is "the noble one reflects on distress and is prepared to defend against it." I'm wondering if this might mean that you are anticipating "people want to destroy me" and get defensive, bringing about a self-fulfilling prophesy. Just a thought, hope it may be helpful.

RindaR · Oct 18, 2014

If I understand Trojina, she means that when you feel someone is unhappy with you, and you are not sure why, it stands to reason that the unhappy person is the one to answer your question about "why" this is happening.

Trojina · Oct 18, 2014

mmh so you say carelessness and unconsiderate, no efforts made when necessary.

No I didn't say I knew that, I'm guessing and making suggestions. It's up to you to decide whether these suggestions are true.

Rinda is correct regarding what I meant. The only real way to get clarity is to speak to these people but of course if they won't talk to you you can't.

Remember my former housemate that forced the director to kick me out of the play? well working with that director was the dream of my life and I spent 5 years following her. So it was not just a matter of a play.. he destroyed my life!

But no one could really force the director to do anything...No one has the absolute power to destroy your life. Sure they can hurt and hinder you...but they cannot destroy your whole life. Your life comes from the source of all life and it cannot be destroyed. Every moment you can remake your life.

Actually 'every moment you remake your life' has a 63 tone to it. Nothing really ends, all is being remade constantly even in the midst of great loss. You lost an ambition. Many have lost far worse things. You can remake your ambitions and your dreams....but if they all centred on working with one director they would seem fragile and fairly easy to destroy anyway. Wouldn't they ? There are other directors and other paths...You won't find these other paths if you go around telling yourself that other people 'destroyed' your life.

Get rid of that idea and you will so much more powerful and happy. I advise you get rid of the idea that others destroyed your life as soon as possible....it's poisonous to you. Even those who have been hurt most terribly by others recognise they can reclaim their power and their life by moving forward regardless in to the next thing. 63 is an ending before a new beginning. Sounds like you really need to focus on the future to move forward...and one goal is surely to find better friends ?

Sometimes I reckon we do get caught up in making relationships with people who aren't good for us...but you can change that. You can get rid of people who treat you like crap and find better friends who want what is best for you. Maybe the fault is not in you but that you are drawn to relating to hurtful people. We often replay childhood family dynamics....so did you feel your family wished to sabotage you ? (no need to answer....that's a private question) If you did feel that then you might be making similar relationships now. Don't be afraid to reject bad relationships and move towards good ones. I'm a bit off topic and maybe that is not relevant to you...but take what applies and ignore what doesn't

pocossin · Oct 18, 2014

Why do people want to destroy me after they know me for a while?"
63 unchanging

You have higher ambitions than they have, and they are envious.

ginnie · Oct 18, 2014

If it's just three people we're talking about and maybe one from before who screwed up your chances with the director, then I'm thinking that is not a large number of people. It would be wrong to come to any conclusions based on so few people . . .

What you are experiencing might be brought about by astrology. Have you ever had your natal chart done?

Keep plugging away at it and eventually the whole situation will become clearer.

Lodestar · Oct 19, 2014

Hi Olga, why don't you do another cast asking this:
' how can I have happy, healthy, supportive friendships and connections?'

I'm guessing that is what you really want, sometimes negativity just fills up the spaces where we feel vulnerable and unsure of ourselves.

Wishing you clarity on your needs and the needs of others & happiness in your future friendships

Olga Super Star · Oct 19, 2014

rinda said:
I'm wondering if this might mean that you are anticipating "people want to destroy me" and get defensive, bringing about a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Thank you. But I think it doesn't apply. My shrink says what I lack is defence! I interact with the world like a child with a total confidence in people

Olga Super Star · Oct 19, 2014

Trojina said:
The only real way to get clarity is to speak to these people but of course if they won't talk to you you can't.

Yeah and that's what strikes me the most! That people I went out with suddenly don't even want to talk to me. it's really weird.

Trojina said:
There are other directors and other paths...You won't find these other paths if you go around telling yourself that other people 'destroyed' your life.

You're right!
But it's easy to say to myself "go on". while it's difficult to not think about what I lost.
it's a relationship ended in a bad way. so it leaves me something bitter inside.
it's not just a job or a place in the company lost, it's more than that.
But I know I have to move on.

Trojina said:
We often replay childhood family dynamics....so did you feel your family wished to sabotage you ? If you did feel that then you might be making similar relationships now.

I grew up with just my Mom, not knowing a single thing about the other side (the male side) which I eventually started to know when I was 31.

But if what you say could be true regarding the director and some nasty people, here I think it's not a matter of bad people. it happens with nice people too and sometimes they too don't understand why they're behaving in such a way!

Olga Super Star · Oct 19, 2014

pocossin said:
You have higher ambitions than they have, and they are envious.

This is also what my shrink says. Does 63 say so or is it an assumption you make considering what you read ?

Olga Super Star · Oct 19, 2014

ginnie said:
What you are experiencing might be brought about by astrology. Have you ever had your natal chart done?

No I wish I had someone reading it!
I have done it on a site but it gives too general a view

sooo · Oct 19, 2014

Hi Olga,

It's been my experience that 63 can sometimes refer to someone accomplished. Someone who has been there, done that. As experienced or accomplished or well "finished" someone may be, sometimes they retain a trusting, innocent nature - also called naivete - and predatory and/or petty and jealous people can't resist taking advantage of that trusting nature. You get burned, and then I'm willing to bet, turn right around and do the same thing, trusting wrong people. Is your trusting nature a blessing or a curse? If you can answer that, you will know what to do to correct and prevent it, or continue to subject yourself to it.

Trojina · Oct 19, 2014

You said to Rinda

Thank you. But I think it doesn't apply. My shrink says what I lack is defence! I interact with the world like a child with a total confidence in people

Just to say when people speak of the innocence of children, I wonder how many real live infants they have recently interacted with. Infants have an instinct not to trust strangers, they don't have total confidence in people,...it's part of evolution. A totally trusting infant would wander off with anyone and that wouldn't be great for their survival prospects.

http://www.healthofchildren.com/S/Stranger-Anxiety.html

Older children also have such instincts....they aren't these pure fluffy little balls of innocence some imagine. They question and have survival instincts too.

Not that relevant to the topic but I thought I'd say.

pocossin · Oct 19, 2014

olga said:
This is also what my shrink says. Does 63 say so or is it an assumption you make considering what you read ?

Hexagram 63 suggested it to me. In King Wen's assignment of meanings to the hexagrams, 63 is yang gui, the fox ghost. The ghosts of the dead are envious of the living, thus the hungry ghosts of Chinese culture and the Halloween of Western culture. In the Cinderella story, excellence overcomes envy in the long run.

Olga Super Star · Oct 20, 2014

Trojina said:
Infants have an instinct not to trust strangers

I started kindergarten when I was 5 months old so I guess I've been used all my life to pass from person to person and to trust everyone. My Mom would drop me at 8.30 in the morning and would pick me up first at 4 pm, then at 6.30 pm!
I guess I got used to be around lots of people (60 children probably + their parents + our teachers + cleaning staff).

And I have to say when I was young I was respected and never came across mean or nasty people!
That might be the problem: being too lucky in my childhood, surrounded by wonderful people, I grew up thinking that everybody is gorgeous and wants my well being

Thank you, I think it's relevant to the topic as it gives me food for thoughts and makes me ponder on myself

Olga Super Star · Oct 20, 2014

I think what Sooo and Pocossin say is connected in a way. I feel it familiar!

But as Lodestar suggested

Lodestar said:
Hi Olga, why don't you do another cast asking this:
' how can I have happy, healthy, supportive friendships and connections?'

I just cast and got 34.5.6>1

Reading from Hillary:
this gives a powerful impression of virile strength and energy. For me, it also has a strong association with the uprightness and strength of trees – you can be infused with ‘great vigour’, I think, by trees.

I think 34 is becoming or creating a kind of hero.

makes me think that I would need a different physical attitude, able to impress people

The character for ‘ritual’ shows an altar, and an offering with flowers.

since I have become Buddhist, makes me think that I should pray, which I haven't been doing a lot recently

how very upright she was, looking the world in the eye, straight as a tree.

makes me think I need more courage

34.5 makes me think I need to be less stubborn

sooo · Oct 20, 2014

Or just be yourself, and let many things pass. Some people will always judge you no matter what. Maybe 34-1 means to toughen up and be less vulnerable, more comfortable and confident in your own skin, and don't fall into a persecution complex.

Olga Super Star · Oct 20, 2014

sooo said:
OMaybe 34-1 means to toughen up and be less vulnerable, more comfortable and confident in your own skin, and don't fall into a persecution complex.

I have to turn into a big solid tree

Tohpol · Oct 20, 2014

And big solid trees are perfect examples of creativity and receptivity, roots firmly in the ground, branches spreading across the sky.

Trojina · Oct 20, 2014

I just cast and got 34.5.6>1

Reading from Hillary:
this gives a powerful impression of virile strength and energy. For me, it also has a strong association with the uprightness and strength of trees – you can be infused with ‘great vigour’, I think, by trees.

I think 34 is becoming or creating a kind of hero.

makes me think that I would need a different physical attitude, able to impress people

It's a nice cast but I don't think it implies being able to impress people. Afterall no one is in control of others potential to be impressed.

The answer suggests to me that firstly there is no need to regret losses...even if they hurt. Sheep are lost in 34.5 yet this is no mistake.

34.6 says you need not try to tackle whatever you think the issue is here head on. Infact trying to resolve this only gets you stuck....You need to take a side view, out of the corner of your eyes, relax find other ways around things....but don't push for a resolution. If you can do this I think things resolve themselves and you may be more carried with your destiny (hex 1). I tend to see hex 1 when relating hexagram as indicating heaven, destiny, is at work. So to me it suggests recent losses are something to simply takes a big breath about and relax....and stop head butting the hedge in 34.6.

It all sounds a bit like 'chillax

....take it easy, don' try to get things by determination.....be aware there is another way to see things that you may not have noticed yet.' So far from going out to impress people, just know that you have your strengths but you haven't see all the ways to progress yet...so let go of fixed ideas about what progress looks like here..In 34.6 the ram is stuck in the hedge and the more he struggles to get out the more stuck her gets. Only when he calms down and thinks of others ways rather than headfirst butting....like maybe he could turn his head a little this way...and then a little that way..then he might get free...but for now he is stuck so he has chance to think a new way. That is the position you are in...Find a more flexible or open mind set about everything (by simply dfirst ceasing to struggle)and then things can flow well.

How does this apply to your relationships ? Hmm don't worry so much, let go a little....there's all sort of things you haven't explored yet in this area. Also I'd think perhaps don't bring your ambitions into your personal friendships too much...perhaps they make you seem too driven in a certain direction. Afterall friendship is for the sake of friendship. I'm not sure about whether that is something you do...if it isn't please ignore and take what fits.

Olga Super Star · Oct 21, 2014

Trojina said:
I
34.6 says you need not try to tackle whatever you think the issue is here head on. Infact trying to resolve this only gets you stuck....You need to take a side view, out of the corner of your eyes, relax find other ways around things....but don't push for a resolution. If you can do this I think things resolve themselves and you may be more carried with your destiny (hex 1).

take it easy, don' try to get things by determination.....

Find a more flexible or open mind set about everything (by simply dfirst ceasing to struggle)and then things can flow well.

don't bring your ambitions into your personal friendships too much...perhaps they make you seem too driven in a certain direction. Afterall friendship is for the sake of friendship.

thank you!
rings a bell

Olga Super Star · Oct 27, 2014

HEY

this is something magic!

Last week I was asking
how can I have happy, healthy, supportive friendships and connections?' 34.5.6>1

Today I asked What will the suggested retreat (33) from the director bring to? 34.4.5>5

I love it when it does that!
It is right in time: after 33, 34 comes.
And it's similar to the cast on happy and supportive friendship!

So do you think it means that retreating from the director will bring health supportive friendship and contacts?

or maybe that it will make me stronger? :flirt:

Why do people want to destroy me? 63 unchanging

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