I have a question. My girlfriend of three years and I broke up on Christmas Day due to my very emotional nature leading me to accuse her of not caring about me. She has always been there, but I took some recent interactions out of context and filtered through my fear of abandonment and my overly emotional nature accused her of never loving me and said I was a fool to ever think she did. She did not talk to me for over a week and now she says she only wants to be friends. I desperately want to repair this relationship because I truly love her. I am getting counseling doing DBT to help with my emotional regulation and abandonment issues.

I asked the following question:

Will Fran and I get back together? Received 49.5 -- 55.

Today I asked will I ever be with Fran again? Received 42.1,5 -- 23

Please help me understand this.

Thanks,
Jim

Edit (I used Brian Arnold's "Yi Jing"): 49 Revolution-I read this to mean that I will change (become better at regulating my emotions?) And this will lead to progress in our relationship as long as I am doing this for the right reason (to improve myself) not to manipulate Fran. Then all our regrets with go away. Line 5 changing "The leader of a great transformation first changes himself, with sincerity and honesty" just emphasizes that this must be sincere and it will transform our relationship.

Hexagram 55 Fullness means that the change in me will lead to change in Fran and/or our relationship.

Second reading showed 42 Increase shows growth and learning to accept the flow of the universe (not trying to have it all my way).Line 1 changing says the time is favorable for this change and leads to good fortune. Line 5 changing says "Kindness of the heart expressed with sincerity and truthfulness will bring you recognition. Exceptional good fortune" which I think indicates that my love will be demonstrated to her and things will get better.

This is where I don't really get it. Hexagram 23 Falling Apart says "There is no advantage in moving toward a goal" Does this mean we are not going to get back together or does this seem to be more a warning to be sincere and to work on myself and let things happen rather than striving toward a goal of getting her back?

Jim

Hi there. The tough part of interpreting your questions are that they are yes/no questions, closed ended questions. It gives you an answer, but you can't clearly say it's a yes or a no. You can try to ask open ended questions... What if we try to mend our relationship? How beneficial is it for us to get back together again? Those sorts of questions.

For the first question, 49.5 can mean that it will require a big change for it to happen, a transformation maybe on your part or the whole relationship, and still you can't be totally positive of getting back together but you can try by doing that. Because you got one line changing you don't need to worry about the resulting hexagram, so you can disregard 55.

Again, the second question is a yes/no... will you ever be with Frances again... well what do you mean, maybe you will meet for coffee, that's being together. Anyhow, the more precise the question the more precise the answer. For that you got 42.1.5, I only focus on one of the lines, they're both yang so I will focus on the higher one, which only mentions that focusing on your benevolent personality can help the situation, does this mean you will be back together, not really sure. You do get 23, which is actually refer to splitting apart/removal, but it can be the present situation, doesn't really have to be a future situation, but yet it might be.

In both answers you just get answers on what needs to happen, transformation and finding your good side to approach her again, will this work, maybe. If you really want to know if you might be with her later on you can probably ask something like: By the end of this year, what will my relationship with X be like? Again, it might not give you something precise but it's an easier way to find out than yes/no. Anyhow, good luck, do wish you the best.