Received hexagram 64 turning into 63..........

[scottjeffrey]

Hello all. I am new here. I have been studying the I ching for near 30 years and am pleased to find this community. I live in Florida/USA and work as a psychoanalyst/psychotherapist.
This morning I turned to the book for help. I asked how I could turn my marriage of fifteen years into one which better feeds and fulfills me; one which evokes the feeling experience of 'Love' as I have known it in the past with others. It has been a difficult path with this woman (we are very different in so many ways and I would say I married for the wrong reasons at that time) and many would counsel me to leave but I am not 'built' for that. So in rededicating my efforts to our relationship I asked my question above. I received the 64th oracle with all the lines moving (a first for me in 28 years) turning it to 63. I would appreciate your input and reflections. Good will to all and thanks---Scott

Hi Scott,

As you probably already know, there is a great diversity of opinion about how to approach a reading that has multiple moving lines. In my view, one line is essential and the additional lines are included so that the appropriate resulting hexagram can be created as a part of your answer. In the case of all lines changing, I believe the judgement of the primary hexagram is the essential oracle and the resulting hexagram can be considered as another aspect of your situation. The exception to this is, of course, hexagrams 1 and 2 which include an additional line for an answer that has all lines changing.
Naturally, some will disagree and I'm sure you will find a variety of interpretations to choose from. Good luck.

Dear Scott,
I feel mystified by this reading as I feel hex 64 is quite a profound omen....and it could have multiple meanings here. Also, all lines changing is rather profound as well.

Perhaps this is the point of no return, meaning it is now or never to make the changes. And the actions you take now will be very important for the future of this relationship. It seems you are poised on the edge of important change -64 - and that it will become the basis of future dynamics.

If you feel it is definitely a possibility to transform this relationship into one that fulfills you, then be willing to cross the river.

You say you are not "built" for leaving.....this is perhaps a worthy stance for you then....I think an important question to ask would be this: are you prepared to stay in the marriage even if it does not afford you the possibility of the kind of fulfillment you feel you need?
Although hex 64 holds out the possibility of potential change, hex 63 could possibly point to the fact that you have already reached the full of your potential compatibility...and perhaps it is enough, after all. Maybe the love you are seeking is actually an inside job here?

I am taking stabs in the dark...I hope you dont mind. BUt it is an interesting reading.

Where is Dobro when you need him?! He is a very clear-headed and pragmatic reader. I hope he offers his take.
Wishing you the best.

[yly2pg1]

I asked how I could turn my marriage of fifteen years into one which better feeds and fulfills me; one which evokes the feeling experience of 'Love' as I have known it in the past with others.

64 is your question?


The answer to your question:
... , hex 63 could possibly point to the fact that you have already reached the full of your potential compatibility...and perhaps it is enough, after all. Maybe the love you are seeking is actually an inside job here?

Just my 3 cents thought ...

[yly2pg1]

It has been a difficult path with this woman (we are very different in so many ways and I would say I married for the wrong reasons at that time) and many would counsel me to leave but I am not 'built' for that.

(1) If you are not 'built' to leave your wife (64), then you are indeed never married for the wrong reasons.

(2) Once you have managed to 'build' yourself to leave(63), how would you and this woman will react to each other?

Sometimes, a marriage (for good or for bad) is a complimentary yin/yang balance ...

[martin]

This answer makes for a interesting Rohrschach blot and different people may see very different things in it.
So what I see is subjective but here it comes:

63 in the background reflects how you experience your relationship now. There is not much 'coherence', not much that binds anymore, it's more or less falling apart, disorganized. Like a clock running down or what is called 'entropy death' in physics.
Also, if you read 63 as light (lower trigram fire) that becomes dark (upper trigram water), awareness is disappearing, habit and routine is taking over.
This is the situation that you find yourself in or how you experience it.

64 is the answer to your question. You use the word 'turn' and it looks indeed like a complete turn around. In 64 coherence is increasing, entropy decreases. And the dark becomes light. So there are two hints in it, I guess:
- focus on what you have in common, on what binds you and perhaps spend more time doing things together.
- do new things with each other and do old things in new ways. Get away from habit and routine. Seek and find the new. Look at her as if you meet her for the first time. Listen to her as if you have never heard her before. Make breakfast for her and pay attention to every detail. Be aware ...

My 2 euro cents ..

[hmesker]

Dear Scott,

The answer you got from the Yi can truly be called a revelation. In all its aspects it shows that the present situation you are in is heading to its climax. 64 is the last hexagram in the Yi, you are bound for a new start, a new phase. None of the lines fit their position, the chaos is complete; you are in the eye of the storm: all looks quiet and peaceful, yet you feel things are not right. But all the lines are changing: they are willing to change in order to restore the balance.

The trigrams can tell you what you have to do now. The lower trigram is (Running) Water, it is connected with fear, emotions and taking chances. As a lower trigram it tells you to connect with your inner fear and feel it, follow the flow yet beware not to be controlled by it. Discover what your true emotions and worries are in this matter.

The upper trigram, Fire, tells you to share all this in a clear, distinctive way. Show how you are attached and what you feel you are attached to, what do you desire, what feeds you? Make it known, tell your Truth. Everyone will benefit from this. Fire enlightens, but only if it acts like itself (enlightment is not the essence of Fire but a side-effect which occurs if Fire connects). Show your (com-)passion. That you feel you married for the wrong reasons is okay but it does not change how you feel now, and that is what matters most. Concentrate on Now, because that is what you have to deal with.

But in all I find this a great answer. Everything looks in disorder, but you have the chance to change it all and restore the harmony. Now is the time to set things right. The Yi says that this is possible, not a utopia.

Best wishes,

Harmen.

[peter]

I agree that it is an interesting reading. But, Scott, with all your experience as an I Ching user and as an pyshcoanalytist - you probably see that if such a question appeared in you, then it is a decision. You cannot stay with your current wife. Thus the real question is - how to part in good terms.

In this perspective, your reading shows that you have to part immediately. Hex. 63 is "Already finished", and it is your final hexagram. As it was pointed in most sources, you have to read the text to the final hexagram in this case. It seems to me that there is no reviving of former relations. So even if you are not "built" for such a step, the is no matter - make it from where you can do it.

BTW, while you have such a great experience, maybe you have your own suggestions? Will you write them after some our attempts?

[jte]

"Fire enlightens, but only if it acts like itself (enlightment is not the essence of Fire but a side-effect which occurs if Fire connects). Show your (com-)passion."

I hope it's okay if I take this thread on a little side-trip by asking about this quote.

Harmen, what prompts you to say this (the quote above)? Have you had experiences with or insight into Hex 30 and/or the Li trigram that prompt this?

If so, I'd love for you to share them. I'm genuinely curious...

- Jeff

[yly2pg1]

<font size="-2">Quote:</font>
<font size="-2">do new things with each other and do old things in new ways. Get away from habit and routine. Seek and find the new.</font>

64 <font face="symbol">«</font> 63, the complimentary everchanging cycle of renewal ...