Hello all. I am new here. I have been studying the I ching for near 30 years and am pleased to find this community. I live in Florida/USA and work as a psychoanalyst/psychotherapist.
This morning I turned to the book for help. I asked how I could turn my marriage of fifteen years into one which better feeds and fulfills me; one which evokes the feeling experience of 'Love' as I have known it in the past with others. It has been a difficult path with this woman (we are very different in so many ways and I would say I married for the wrong reasons at that time) and many would counsel me to leave but I am not 'built' for that. So in rededicating my efforts to our relationship I asked my question above. I received the 64th oracle with all the lines moving (a first for me in 28 years) turning it to 63. I would appreciate your input and reflections. Good will to all and thanks---Scott

Hi Scott,

As you probably already know, there is a great diversity of opinion about how to approach a reading that has multiple moving lines. In my view, one line is essential and the additional lines are included so that the appropriate resulting hexagram can be created as a part of your answer. In the case of all lines changing, I believe the judgement of the primary hexagram is the essential oracle and the resulting hexagram can be considered as another aspect of your situation. The exception to this is, of course, hexagrams 1 and 2 which include an additional line for an answer that has all lines changing.
Naturally, some will disagree and I'm sure you will find a variety of interpretations to choose from. Good luck.

Dear Scott,
I feel mystified by this reading as I feel hex 64 is quite a profound omen....and it could have multiple meanings here. Also, all lines changing is rather profound as well.

Perhaps this is the point of no return, meaning it is now or never to make the changes. And the actions you take now will be very important for the future of this relationship. It seems you are poised on the edge of important change -64 - and that it will become the basis of future dynamics.

If you feel it is definitely a possibility to transform this relationship into one that fulfills you, then be willing to cross the river.

You say you are not "built" for leaving.....this is perhaps a worthy stance for you then....I think an important question to ask would be this: are you prepared to stay in the marriage even if it does not afford you the possibility of the kind of fulfillment you feel you need?
Although hex 64 holds out the possibility of potential change, hex 63 could possibly point to the fact that you have already reached the full of your potential compatibility...and perhaps it is enough, after all. Maybe the love you are seeking is actually an inside job here?

I am taking stabs in the dark...I hope you dont mind. BUt it is an interesting reading.

Where is Dobro when you need him?! He is a very clear-headed and pragmatic reader. I hope he offers his take.
Wishing you the best.

I asked how I could turn my marriage of fifteen years into one which better feeds and fulfills me; one which evokes the feeling experience of 'Love' as I have known it in the past with others.

64 is your question?


The answer to your question:
... , hex 63 could possibly point to the fact that you have already reached the full of your potential compatibility...and perhaps it is enough, after all. Maybe the love you are seeking is actually an inside job here?

Just my 3 cents thought ...

It has been a difficult path with this woman (we are very different in so many ways and I would say I married for the wrong reasons at that time) and many would counsel me to leave but I am not 'built' for that.

(1) If you are not 'built' to leave your wife (64), then you are indeed never married for the wrong reasons.

(2) Once you have managed to 'build' yourself to leave(63), how would you and this woman will react to each other?

Sometimes, a marriage (for good or for bad) is a complimentary yin/yang balance ...

This answer makes for a interesting Rohrschach blot and different people may see very different things in it.
So what I see is subjective but here it comes:

63 in the background reflects how you experience your relationship now. There is not much 'coherence', not much that binds anymore, it's more or less falling apart, disorganized. Like a clock running down or what is called 'entropy death' in physics.
Also, if you read 63 as light (lower trigram fire) that becomes dark (upper trigram water), awareness is disappearing, habit and routine is taking over.
This is the situation that you find yourself in or how you experience it.

64 is the answer to your question. You use the word 'turn' and it looks indeed like a complete turn around. In 64 coherence is increasing, entropy decreases. And the dark becomes light. So there are two hints in it, I guess:
- focus on what you have in common, on what binds you and perhaps spend more time doing things together.
- do new things with each other and do old things in new ways. Get away from habit and routine. Seek and find the new. Look at her as if you meet her for the first time. Listen to her as if you have never heard her before. Make breakfast for her and pay attention to every detail. Be aware ...

My 2 euro cents ..

Dear Scott,

The answer you got from the Yi can truly be called a revelation. In all its aspects it shows that the present situation you are in is heading to its climax. 64 is the last hexagram in the Yi, you are bound for a new start, a new phase. None of the lines fit their position, the chaos is complete; you are in the eye of the storm: all looks quiet and peaceful, yet you feel things are not right. But all the lines are changing: they are willing to change in order to restore the balance.

The trigrams can tell you what you have to do now. The lower trigram is (Running) Water, it is connected with fear, emotions and taking chances. As a lower trigram it tells you to connect with your inner fear and feel it, follow the flow yet beware not to be controlled by it. Discover what your true emotions and worries are in this matter.

The upper trigram, Fire, tells you to share all this in a clear, distinctive way. Show how you are attached and what you feel you are attached to, what do you desire, what feeds you? Make it known, tell your Truth. Everyone will benefit from this. Fire enlightens, but only if it acts like itself (enlightment is not the essence of Fire but a side-effect which occurs if Fire connects). Show your (com-)passion. That you feel you married for the wrong reasons is okay but it does not change how you feel now, and that is what matters most. Concentrate on Now, because that is what you have to deal with.

But in all I find this a great answer. Everything looks in disorder, but you have the chance to change it all and restore the harmony. Now is the time to set things right. The Yi says that this is possible, not a utopia.

Best wishes,

Harmen.

I agree that it is an interesting reading. But, Scott, with all your experience as an I Ching user and as an pyshcoanalytist - you probably see that if such a question appeared in you, then it is a decision. You cannot stay with your current wife. Thus the real question is - how to part in good terms.

In this perspective, your reading shows that you have to part immediately. Hex. 63 is "Already finished", and it is your final hexagram. As it was pointed in most sources, you have to read the text to the final hexagram in this case. It seems to me that there is no reviving of former relations. So even if you are not "built" for such a step, the is no matter - make it from where you can do it.

BTW, while you have such a great experience, maybe you have your own suggestions? Will you write them after some our attempts?

"Fire enlightens, but only if it acts like itself (enlightment is not the essence of Fire but a side-effect which occurs if Fire connects). Show your (com-)passion."

I hope it's okay if I take this thread on a little side-trip by asking about this quote.

Harmen, what prompts you to say this (the quote above)? Have you had experiences with or insight into Hex 30 and/or the Li trigram that prompt this?

If so, I'd love for you to share them. I'm genuinely curious...

- Jeff

<font size="-2">Quote:</font>
<font size="-2">do new things with each other and do old things in new ways. Get away from habit and routine. Seek and find the new.</font>

64 <font face="symbol">«</font> 63, the complimentary everchanging cycle of renewal ...

Hi Jeff,

It is just my personal view of the trigram Fire. Fire needs a source which it can cling to. This clinging, or its thirst for that, is its 'drive', that is what it wants. When it can do so it is able to shine - but shining is not its drive or its essence. Light occurs during the connection. When the connection is gone, so is the light.

Another example in the same line of thought: flamingo's. Flamingo's are pink, but only when they eat enough shrimp. They desire to eat shrimp, and when they do so their colour becomes pink. But they do not quite care about their colour, they only care about shrimp. Yet everybody focuses on their colour: 'look how beautiful pink they are!' But pink is not the essence of flamingo.

Harmen.

Harmen, thanks very much for your insights!



- Jeff

I am responding to this more from a request, or at least being asked to look at this thread, by Val. I do not have a lot of time these days, and I can't give a reading per se, plus I think everyone else has already done a good job. But just a note on the hexagram pair as a whole...

Here is a transition period, as everyone knows....
The book of changes is built such that it begins with the concept of eternal yin and yang ever contrasting and opposing each other yet ever complimenting each other. The beginning of part two of the book of changes shows us in hexagram 31 the dangers inherent in relationships, as wrong turns can be made all the time. Yet thirty two tells us of the permanency of a relationship, and how to maintain permanency within a context of change. The final pair in the book, just as hexagram one and two are, is outside the context of the book as a whole. The book really ends with hexagram 62, which tells us we must always maintain a stable home base within which to retreat. While one and two tell us of the constancy of opposites changing into each other, hexagram 63 and 64 tell us of the constancy of change within eternal equilibrium. In hexagram 64 we start the great work. Why at the end of the book? Because as soon as we close one chapter we start another. In enlightenment, we return to the same place we started from, and know it for the first time. This hexagram pair is about beginnings and endings. It is about the constant cycling of events. For all things are in essence, a sine wave....

In Scottjeffries marriage, it appears there is constantly a "difficult beginniing." As in hexagram 3, but Scott, and apparently his wife, are determined to find the constancy in that eternal conflict. It is likely that it will always be that in Scott's marriage, there will always be that point before completion, when things have to be worked on. "Work on what has been spoiled." When we work on what has been spoiled, there is success. But hexagram 63 tells us that just when there is the greatest success, there is the greatest danger. For it is the law of eternal change that things put in order must always deteriorate. So there is the constant struggle to maintain the balance within the relationship. Once things are fixed, it is only a matter of time before they need to be fixed again. Is this good or bad? "There is not good nor bad but by thinking makes it so!" I believe there is a line similar to that in a Shakespeare play. Hence Scott is warned that, as he works to perfect the relationship, that if, in almost completing the task, there is a relapse, well, he is back where he started. This hexagram pair tells us that always, after crossing the great water, there is still another crossing that must be done. There is no escape from the necessity of constant vigilance. Can the marriage be saved? Probably, but one will needs be forwarned that saving it once is not enough. It must be done again, and again, and again. But hexagram 64 closes the book with the hopeful promise of spring, in which the beautiful flowers bloom again, and the sun rises early in the morning, creating a delightful mist across the lake.

Gene

Gene...

Wow!

Scott...

I emailed Gene about your question and answer because it's a powerful reading... and, I've seen him tune into 63 and 64 in the past in this forum and knew he would well understand the transistion of one to the other.

Love,

Val

There is a lot I need to learn about hexagrams 63 and 64, they are as potent and as powerful in their own way as hexagrams one and two. The real chapters start with hexagram three when all is taking shape and forming. Someone is going out into the world for the first time.Then when all is said and done, it is time to retire to our home base for the evening, hexagram 62. But hexagrams sixty three and sixty four remind us of the eternal cycling of all that is in existence. And that eternal cycle is the permanence of all things. There are things here, hidden in these hexagrams though, that modern day English speakers, and even the Chinese, if they don't know the language of the time, are bound to miss. It is hidden lest it be exposed to the eyes of the unruly.

Gene

Gene,

real gems!