My girlfriend and I broke up 3 months ago. Currently, we are trying to remain friends. We talk occasionally. At this point, I am feeling stuck. Unable to figure out what to do, I asked I Ching a few questions:

1. What will happen if I continue to wait for my ex girlfriend (for her to come back)? 51.5>17
2. What will happen if I give up on the relationship? 42 unchanging
3. What should I do with regards to my relationship with my ex girlfriend? 51.4.6>27

I've looked at a few different websites to try and interpret my hexagrams.. I do have a slight idea on what they might be saying. However, since I am fairly new to this, I am not feeling confident. Your insight would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you all.

UPDATE: I just read your other thread (after writing the below post - I should have read it before).

I think a lot of what is in these readings turns out to be already very well covered in the other thread, by Desertlark and Peter2610, before you'd even cast these.

All the "shocks" (hexagram 51) probably refer to what you described in your initial post here.

Another possibility for the 42 unchanging reading might be what happens when you back off - she apologizes to you. "Correcting excess" might apply to both of you? You back off a little bit...she realizes she yelled too much and apologizes...

51.6 might mean her yelling is more about her than you - maybe she's not so much angry with you as scared and uncertain of her own feelings, and it just comes out as yelling? Of course I don't know that, but sometimes people express emotions oddly.

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Hi Uongshay,

From Hilary's translation (in case you don't already know, Hilary Barrett is an I Ching diviner and the owner of this website):

51.5
'Shock goes and comes,
Danger. Intention is not lost – there are things to do.'

42 - Oracle
'Increasing, fruitful to have a direction to go.
Fruitful to cross the great river.'

42 - Image
'Wind and thunder.
Increasing.
A noble one sees improvement, and so she changes.
When there is excess, she corrects it.'

51.4
'Shock, and then a bog.'

51.6
'Shock twists and turns,
Watching in fear and terror,
Setting out to bring order: pitfall.
The shock does not reach your self, It reaches your neighbour –
No mistake.
There are words of marital alliance.'

These readings don't sound like discouragement, I don't think, although it's hard to be certain about something like this. What happens in your relationship isn't entirely up to you. Also - as with all readings here - we're only making our best guess, and in this case I feel noticeably "guess-y" (vs. sometimes when I think, ah, I know what that means - and then of course it could be wrong anyway). Just bear that in mind.

I think the first reading might be telling you to just stay in the present. Don't let yourself be buffeted off-course by "shocks." One thing it might mean (this is just an example; it might be too specific) is don't overreact or worry too much about every little signal you think you're getting from her. You know how when you're worried about a relationship, if the other person barely says hello to you one day, you think they don't like you anymore, when it might just be that they're in a hurry or preoccupied and their "brusqueness" has nothing to do with you?

42 unchanging for the second reading - this might mean any of several things. One might be simply "you are blessed." As an answer to "what if I give up" - it might be Yi saying "no, you are blessed, don't do that."

Or, the Image might apply - if there are any "improvements" you could make, make them, and so forth. I have no idea what that might mean specifically. Maybe just stay alert to things? The "excess" idea - if you ever get the impression you've pushed too much, be alert to that and back off? (Again, that might be overly specific.)

Seeing the first two readings as a pair - what do you mean by "give up" on it? Would "give up" mean you'd stop being friends with her - officially end the relationship altogether? Or does it mean that you (on your own) would just stop hoping for something more than friendship? If it's the second - that you'd stay friends but give up on anything more - the two readings together might mean (possibly) that it doesn't matter. I don't think either reading is discouraging. So maybe as long as you don't cut things off altogether, it won't matter what you decide your goals are, inside your own head.

The third reading - if you listed these in the order you asked them, Yi might be saying, "You're getting bogged down in this now, and scared - no need for that; stop asking questions." One thing not to do, probably, is take "words of marital alliance" too literally. Maybe you'll marry this girl eventually, but right now you're not even dating...

Hi Lisa,

First of all, thank you so much for spending your time on my post. After reading your reply, I just want to clarify that I am interpreting things correctly.

Would it be somewhat accurate to say that perhaps things are not as bad as it seems, assuming that "there is nothing at all lost"? Does both 51.5 and 51.6 seem to have similar ideas (no danger, no lost in the end)?

Looking at what I Ching is telling me and examining my own behavior, it is leading me to think that I am overreacting. To be quite honest, I am hot tempered and aggressive.. I am very quick in coming to conclusions.. I suppose my reading is advising me to calm down? I suppose I've been looking for the next "move", what to do next. Is Yi telling me to not do anything at all? My next move, is not moving. Does that make any sense?

Finally for the third reading (yes I did ask these in the order I've listed), I shouldn't be scared, I shouldn't worry, go with the flow?

As for the transitioning hex 17 and 27, can you expand on what they might be saying?

I apologize for so many questions and thank you again.

I can't give definite answers to most of this because I'm not sure myself, and I can't know how your relationship will turn out. But I kind of think what you're saying is on the right track.

I do think you shouldn't push too hard, and give your girlfriend room to sort out her own feelings. I think that's partly what 42's Image is saying, about excess.

But I think 51.5 says don't necessarily cut things off altogether. So...stay in touch with her, but don't be in a rush to straighten things out once and for all (51.6 - "setting out to bring order: pitfall").

Thank you Lisa. When things sort itself out, I will come to post an update.

How did this all workout?