Hi there,

I want your thoughts on this reading.

I asked a question about a situation regarding a person who sits on the organisation I setup. It is specifically in relation to a potentially romantic pursuit of her.

The thing is I feel she is very hurt from a perviously relationship, and doesn't seem to want to open up. I have been making inklings to her that I want to hear her sorry etc. I've been a little clumsy though and I've texted her a few times when drunk and she's been ambivilant in her response. Yesterday, she dis say to me, she needs space and doesn't want me asking about how she is etc, and wants me to respect her boundaries, I think I may have upset her.

However, when pulling out the Iching reading from the website, it's implying I am actually on the right path, so I am confused. Intuitively I feel I should back away from her (or at the very least reduce the amount of tension by not "tugging" at her, and leave her too cool. For example, at times she has told me about her past, and there's a lot of hurt there, and I told her I sympathise with it. I feel I could break it down by speaking the absolute truth to her, telling her though i was clumsy, I really wanted to let her know I cared etc.

What do people think?

Hi, I see this answer as speaking to how you might behave towards her, given the situation. It says 49.5 that the great person is able to transform like a tiger (i.e. with determination, dignity, strength), in a trustworthy and confident manner, according to sound principles.
Your friend has asked you to respect her boundaries and to give her space.
If you do as she asks, you will show your own willingness to make the radical changes, in yourself, that are necessary.
If you transform yourself, like a tiger, -- in consideration of her request -- the situation may turn around, yielding abundance.
I sense that you are on the right track, because you are listening to her, and you have the self-confidence to change your own behavior, when necessary -- with the dignity and strength of a tiger.

49.5 : ‘Great person transforms as a tiger.
Even before the augury, there is truth and confidence.’

55 abundance

Hexagram 49 - revolution (based in truth coming to light)
line 5 - There is certainty without divination. You do not need the IChing to tell you what this woman has already said clearly and unambiguously.
Changing to 55 - Abundance (Expansion of Awareness) - wake up and smell the coffee!

Thank you yes. I already told her in future I will be more sensitive and will give her space. It's difficult as we're on the same online communications structure so every day there is contact. My behaviour was perhaps a little insensitive in the past, like I overreacted when she said I made a joke on her facebook post that could be misconstrued politically- it was a joke, and I think I she overreacted herself but I was in a funny mood that day and tried too hard to be right, and in the end she has said she was really upset with me, but I send her a long message saying how sorry I was and that I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, etc. I also sense she has a lot of conflict with men in general she's politically highly charged and has said before that she feels some men speak down to her at work, and I have tried to encourage her to speak out, but paradoxically when I may have talked down to her a couple of times unintentionally when joking around.

I suppose I'm confused because I feel at conflict in my heart knowing I shouldn't pursue her because relationships in the same organisation between board members can be a bad idea, but I'm dazzled by her beauty and spirit- I'm very attracted to her and she is one of the few women I know who I can't keep cool around- I've worked on filmsets and have been completely cool to actresses etc who are just as attractive, so I sense something is there with her.

loverofknowledge said:

Hi, I see this answer as speaking to how you might behave towards her, given the situation. It says 49.5 that the great person is able to transform like a tiger (i.e. with determination, dignity, strength), in a trustworthy and confident manner, according to sound principles.
Your friend has asked you to respect her boundaries and to give her space.
If you do as she asks, you will show your own willingness to make the radical changes, in yourself, that are necessary.
If you transform yourself, like a tiger, -- in consideration of her request -- the situation may turn around, yielding abundance.
I sense that you are on the right track, because you are listening to her, and you have the self-confidence to change your own behavior, when necessary -- with the dignity and strength of a tiger.

49.5 : ‘Great person transforms as a tiger.
Even before the augury, there is truth and confidence.’

55 abundance

Click to expand...

I think it's saying you already know what this person thinks.
Maybe they already told you?
Or you would be able to find out very soon, with ease.
Not much of a need to ask the iChing on this one.

Hi dragonsfile

From a text-based interpretation, what she feels for you is changing and you can see clearly in what way.

But, when the question is about what a woman feels/thinks of a man romantically, I've found more accurate to use the Wen Wan Gua method

In that method, for that type of question,
a) the man asking is represented by the Host Line, in hex 49 it is Hai (water) with Sibling (sibling, coallegue) relative. That means she sees you as a friend or a coallegue, not as a romantic partner
b) the woman is represented by the Wife relative. In hex 49, the Wife line is Wu (fire) and it is hidden under another Hai (water) sibling. That means she is not available for you and there could be another man between you and her. In this case, since the line under she hides is water and water destroyes fire, she is not able to get out of hide. Therefore, most probably she wont be available for you romantically in the near future.... unless Hai becomes uneffective
c) the woman's feelings are represented by the Guest line; in hex 49 the Guest line is Mao (wood), with relative Offspring. Mao neither produces nor combines with Hai; therefore she doens't have romantic feelings for you.

Sorry, but it doesn't seem the change the way she sees you favors your desire.

Best wishes

This is really useful, thanks very much!

Yes my guess was that she's still heartbroken over another guy, she has referred to her ex once in conversation, and whilst she may not currently be in a relationship (this I cannot be certain) but she is hot and cold, and I whilst I have not actually been forward in any particular way to her, she gives the impression of having a shield. Other women I am in contact with are much more receptive when I approach in similar ways.

Sixth Relative said:

Hi dragonsfile

From a text-based interpretation, what she feels for you is changing and you can see clearly in what way.

But, when the question is about what a woman feels/thinks of a man romantically, I've found more accurate to use the Wen Wan Gua method

In that method, for that type of question,
a) the man asking is represented by the Host Line, in hex 49 it is Hai (water) with Sibling (sibling, coallegue) relative. That means she sees you as a friend or a coallegue, not as a romantic partner
b) the woman is represented by the Wife relative. In hex 49, the Wife line is Wu (fire) and it is hidden under another Hai (water) sibling. That means she is not available for you and there could be another man between you and her. In this case, since the line under she hides is water and water destroyes fire, she is not able to get out of hide. Therefore, most probably she wont be available for you romantically in the near future.... unless Hai becomes uneffective
c) the woman's feelings are represented by the Guest line; in hex 49 the Guest line is Mao (wood), with relative Offspring. Mao neither produces nor combines with Hai; therefore she doens't have romantic feelings for you.

Sorry, but it doesn't seem the change the way she sees you favors your desire.

Best wishes

Click to expand...

What would Tiger do? W.W.T.D?

Hi Dragonsfire,

I feel a bit of a personal connection to your experience and reading.

I'm adding a slightly different spin. To me, the Yi gave you 49.5 in order for you to transform into that tiger, as he already exists within. What I mean is, become--and not for her or anyone else--a person of ability and confidence. Not as a means to "win" her over or to prove your worth, but more like being a secret millionaire even if everyone thinks you're a pauper.

A "tiger" knows his worth. No opinion, no praise or blame, no rejection or acceptance can prove or disprove it or affect his sense of self. The tiger is the pure Self that knows his true nature, his oneness with creation. "Thou art that." Just as a King does not consort with his subjects, but finds his Queen, you too must engender your worth. Be that king and seek your queen. The tiger is the part of you that cannot be judged or silenced and will not be demeaned or oppressed. He is majestic and grand, being an immortal beauty, as he was made this way.

You cannot change a tiger's stripes--he knows what he is! He knows which prey to hunt and which to let escape, as the King does in 8.5. He does not doubt, nor conjures doubt, but only conjures faith. Such a person would not pursue a woman who is unavailable, hot and cold, and asks you not to ask how she is. I mean, what the ****! Such a woman is not the most ideal or wise to pursue romantically. Seek Union as one seeks warmth during the winter.

And honestly, it doesn't even sound like she's much of a friend to you. She has nothing to give you, and that's extremely important. There is no reciprocity. Without this equal exchange, you will only end up humiliated, giving too much of yourself away--which you already have. If a woman has to say, "give me space," take it as a firm "piss off" but with a little more couth. She may have the upper hand now, but your self-respect says she doesn't have to if you decide to say, "no." And not out of anger or spite, but self-love.

Give yourself the love you seek. I hate to add Dr. Phil wisdom (because I have never much liked the guy), but you have a 0% chance of success when the other party is walking the other direction. And tigers don't do failure! They succeed! If I were in the same predicament and got the same reading, I'd hope I'd take it to mean that I must change the way I relate to women as well as the kind I pursue and become like that badass tiger--so on point and aligned with the Tao that I don't even have to ask the Yi. I mean this with respect and kindness.

49.5 says, "it's time to radically change (49) the way you see and carry yourself in the world (line 5), so that you will experience the abundance (55) of your own worth and the confident direction and wisdom of your inner junzi." Thing is, in your heart, you know what kind of love you really want to give and receive. I wonder what your tiger heart would say??

I have the utmost faith that that 49.5 tiger already knows. I believe the Yi does, too. Yi gave you the ruling line to suggest you become that ruler. Given the slight chance the Yi actually answered about her feelings, then maybe the above is what she'd like you or another man to be to her--her king.

(Btw, this is all advice I've given myself and actually taken after running into one too many brick walls and trying to squeeze juice out of one too many turnips. If any of it resonates, take it to heart. If not, let it all go.) :bows:

**I just woke up from a dream in which a "tiger" raped a woman and kept her in his cave for a few days. Yikes.**

My subconscious obviously feels it's important to make a distinction between types of rule, ways to approach and relate to the feminine.

The tiger I meant was not like the tiger-rulers of the Hussein family. A tiger must be a "kingly," virtuous king, ruling from his spiritual nature (divine inspiration and authority), not egoic rule, which is often characterized by (blood) lust, power hunger, vanity, superiority, and force. The virtuous king knows his worth because he is guided by his spiritual values and heart. He is merciful and just. Anyway, just felt the need to add that!