Hi All,

I've been through some major life-transitions, these last few years, and often I am feeling not at home in my own life -- not totally aligned with the life I'm leading. In my career and relationships, in an earlier period of my life, I felt aligned, that I was on track and doing what I am here to do.

Yet, things started to change, around 5 years ago (for complicated reasons), and while I do think positively, sometimes, about the changes, other times I feel that i'm just not at home in my own life or fully aligned with it.

Sometimes, I just accept my awkward feeling, as part of my own growth, in a time of change. Other times, I feel I should make a huge leap, -- because not to do so would be to overlook my inner discontent and my intuition.

I have been struggling with this for awhile.

I asked two questions in this regard:
1. How can I be more at home in my own life? 11.1 to 46
2. What shall I do to be more aligned with the life I am leading now? 53.5 to 52

I am not sure what to make of these answers. What do you think? Thank you.

11.1 Recognize connections.

53.5 It may take time but eventually everything turns out well.

11.1 Life doesn't consist of rosy moments only, there are other experiences and ingredients.
Accept the 'good' and the 'bad'. Accept this feeling of 'fish out of water', awkwardness. That can be your home too.

53.5 Kinda what rosada said, get used to this new/uneasy state, it will pass sooner or later. Nothing to do per se, just be patient, keep calm and keep going.

Thanks, rosada and ashteroid!
I've always wondered about 11. 1 which is similar to 12. 1 isn't it?
Any ideas about the relating hexagrams 46 and 52?

I did take the relating hexes into account,
46 is about growing up, evolving, getting wiser, working through difficulties.

52 - stop thinking about past and future, as the image says. Be here and now, be within yourself. Also don't try to do anything, relax. Its opposite is 58 - talking to others, being joyfully active outside.

Wonderful questions and wonderful answers and wonderful Clarity members responding.....

Thanks, asthteroid , yes, "be here now" is often a challenge for me, as I get very restless!

Thank you, goddessliss -- actually, it felt good to articulate my inner feeling of discontent, which has been my companion for awhile.

Hi loverofknowledge,

I hope you don't mind if I freestyle on this one:

1. How can I be more at home in my own life? 11.1 to 46

Spring

Now is the time to integrate your body with your mind
Harmonize the way you think with the way you feel
In the Present Moment ~ and you will
Rise into the home of Life in space and time

2. What shall I do to be more aligned with the life I am leading now? 53.5 to 52

It may seem paradoxical, but the way to consolidate gradual progress is through Stillness. As the wild goose makes its way from the shores to ultimately fly beyond all the holy mountains, it 'rests' at successively higher altitudes on the lines.

In this case, the Stillness found in rest at line 5 has become so profound that the wild goose no longer conceives ~ that is, no longer conceptualizes ~ but rather rests in Presence directly, as part of a daily habit of reflection/contemplation/communion/metaphysical investigation/meditation ~ whatever term feels comfortable with you for the purposeful act of basking at the oasis of direct experience without filtering it through a personal narrative ~ just empirically be-ing, so to speak.

So, imho, the Yi is saying that if you add into your daily schedule some time focused on cultivating inner Stillness, then you will gradually but steadily accomplish in three years the answer to your question ~ the realization of naturally efficient alignment with your life's highest aspirations, which might otherwise have eluded you...

...and, which incidentally can be done entirely within the context of the life that you are living now ~ this is inner work that you can do under your own sovereignty.

Because it says it so much better than I can, I've been recommending 'The Untethered Soul'...

Thanks and many blessings!

Thank you, radiofreewill -- yes, very astute!

Goodness! Spot on suggestions about the readings. Not sure I have anything better to add.

I will say, I think the Yi is encouraging you with 53.5--despite what feels like an eternity spent waiting for a situation to turn, success is assured. That's a nice reading. A blessing. It's like that "inbetween" state we feel when we've made changes or gone through a break up and we've yet to create a new pattern. Maybe it's the boat ride across the river, or it's the part of the season we have yet to see fruit, yet we know we've been toiling--plowing and planting--and have waited patiently for the rain (9)? And after being careful to tread the right path (10), heaven and earth are finally allowed to make their baby (11)? I'm mixing imagery, but I hope you get the point. Some stretches of our journey feel prolonged. Maybe they have to be that way in order for us to develop whatever is necessary for what comes next. But, it can feel a bit empty or like, "what's to come?! When will times change?!" Maybe there's some inner impetus for you to make a change out of boredom--just don't abandon the baby with the bath water! Being restlessness and discontented has never helped anyone achieve that sense of peace or happiness or excitement or whatever they're seeking or trying to accomplish. The law of attraction comes into play. Try to be happy with where you are and what you have, until you get the distinct feeling that it's time for a new adventure. You've been assured that, in time and in patience, things will change. Edgar Cayce spoke about "god's timing." I'm not sure if you believe in God, but it can be said as the Tao's timing, too. Your timing may be a bit different. This is a perfect time to have faith in what cannot be seen.

As for 11.1, recognize what's beneath the surface--that all of life is interdependent and you are a divine note in the symphony of this universe. Play your tune. Another reminder from the Yi to go with the "flow" (11), and that being aligned isn't hard--it's your nature, our nature. Reminds me of the quote from I cannot remember, that "love is the thread that leads us through the labyrinth of life." We have to look no further than turning within to be "aligned." A plus is learning to resonate with the synchronicities outside of us.

You already know this stuff, but now the Yi reminds you. I struggle with the same. I remind myself of what Rilke said when I get restless and bored:

If your everyday life seems poor, don’t blame it; blame yourself; admit to yourself that you are not enough of a poet to call forth its riches; because for the creator there is not poverty and no poor, indifferent place.

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:bows:

thisismybody :

Thank you for your very compassionate, thoughtful reading and for taking the time really to put yourself in my shoes, as I experience and articulate my own restlessness. About 11.1: (pulling up something) --does that mean correcting bad habits, do you suppose? In part because I'm less satisfied now, than at earlier points in my life, I have been seeking to correct my bad habits and to learn from my mistakes. Yes, 53.5 is encouraging.

I have always preached the Gospel of change and will-power. To my friends, if you are dissatisfied, then change your life! You have the power! Don't feel you need to sacrifice your own joy. Life is short. Do it. I used to see too many people who felt cursed and fated by life. I have always pushed forward, making opportunities, and doing things that would bring fulfillment (so I believed).

YET, now, I find myself at a point where I am only very very slowly making progress and where I have been pushing against closed doors and hitting my head against walls. AAAGHHHH. Other people tell me, "be still" or "surrender" -- but, being such a proactive kind of person, I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself, if life does not match my expectations for what I think it should be. There is such a thing as "divine" discontent, discontent because I realize how much more life could be, and I don't want to settle.

I like the Rilke quote, thank you! Yes, I do seek to live that way. And sometimes, my attitude is really what makes life poetic and beautiful or not.

does that mean correcting bad habits, do you suppose? In part because I'm less satisfied now, than at earlier points in my life, I have been seeking to correct my bad habits and to learn from my mistakes.

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Hi loverofknowledge,

It's my pleasure. I'm not so sure 11.1 points to that, but it could. Only you can discern this. I don't think there will ever come a moment that we should stop seeking to correct bad habits or to learn from our mistakes. Just as enlightenment isn't a light switch and cannot be sustained.

You used the word "alignment" in your question. Yi gave you the hexagram in which heaven and earth unite and the line change in which grass is pulled up with its roots entangled. Rich imagery. The imagery makes me think of interdependence which is an "alignment." Seek no further than the very spot you now inhabit.

I have experienced the exact issue/feelings you're struggling with, so I can only offer what truth I found in my own discontent. You say you've always "preached the gospel of change and willpower." I get it. It is a powerful gospel and can work wonders when it is aligned with the times. I feel the same. We do have power. I also believe we have to find a way to be happy because life is short. But, sometimes the doer in us must take the backseat. "Power" isn't synonymous with "doing." There's great power in "being" and knowing when and when not to act. Discernment is a great power.

In Anam Cara, John O'Donohue writes that we cannot "hammer" our lives into the shape we want. There is a time for doing, for sowing, and a time for allowing and reaping. Western culture has trained us to idolize the masculine. We force, coerce, push, beat, bully things to our will. It's time for us to learn the ways of the feminine. To honor receptivity. To relinquish the belief that we are egoic gods who have a right to make everything in our own image. I have learned the hard way that we have to surrender to God's will and God's time because there is an intelligent consciousness that surpasses our own. Learning and living by this means rewiring years of programming. While growing up, most of us looked to the strongest person in our family, the person we wanted most to be like, even if unconsciously, and emulated them. I know I did. That often is the "doer." But, in hexagram 11, it's heaven and earth that marry. The sacred marriage that must occur within our psyches in order for us to individuate and become whole must also live in the world.

We don't need to sacrifice our own joy. And no, we are not cursed or fated. (Though fate is part of it.) Not at all. Our attitudes, beliefs and perceptions dictate the way we feel about our lives. Life is too short. Find a way to be happy. That may not mean making changes or doing. And making changes may not promise to deliver us from our discontent. It may mean learning the ways of water or sitting tight with all the blessings we have in the moment.

Your standards for your life are high. There's nothing wrong with having standards. It's just that we get in the pickle of failed expectations because our lives are not living up to the ideal. But we set the definition of "ideal."

I feel like the only way we can truly gauge our lives is to discern whether or not we're living according to who we truly are, to our true inner values. Maybe inner discontent points to being out of alignment with yourself. Is this the case? For me, it was more like 23.6. 11.1 images upward progress, as does the relating 46. This could mean actual advance in the outer world, or another kind of advancement. I once asked for a reflection of my spiritual progress and got 11. I see this hexagram as being very spiritual. The advancement may not be about getting somewhere.

Maybe the image of digging applies. Keep pulling at that thread and you'll unravel and get to the "root" of your discontent. Despite how I've gone on about "not doing," what if 11.1 points to just simply feeling connected to the life you're living, and if not, resolving to do so?? Do you feel connected? To the people you're connected to? Is there someone in your life that may need to go? You've really got me thinking about 11.1. I've gotten it twice as 11.1.3 in the past week! Ok. I'm done. Let us know what eventually sticks.

Hi thisismybody,
All of your points are very well taken: about the doer and the egoic masculine ideal, about my timing and divine timing, about alignment and being connected to people and life. Yes.
Let me put it this way. Actually, I am content in many ways, and actually, I have been growing and coming alive, during these years of struggle, so no, it is not all bad.
Here's the thing. I will use a metaphor -- an analogy.
Imagine you are an artist, who has given everything to your craft, you love it, your heart is pure in doing it (you do it without ego), you are talented, skilled, alive to beauty, and all you want is to do your art, -- and there was a time when you did have the opportunity to devote yourself to it full time. But that time passed, because of various contingencies, and now you are absolutely caught up, day in and day out, with some job or other duties that make it very very hard, and you simply don't have the time, life has crowded out what matters so deeply to you.
Sure you can snatch a moment here and there but it's not enough PLUS you remember what it was like when you had time, a support system, and recognition. You simply wish to get back to finish your big masterpiece, yet now your life makes it virtually impossible. This is really a big challenge, for somebody whose true happiness is in art, (let's say, just a metaphor), but whose life is caught up in various practical concerns that consume energy and attention.
That's one metaphor - or analogy. How would you feel? Discontent.
Here's another: your beloved child or lover has been separated from you, and you are not able to be reunited, or at least seldom, or maybe there's a legal case involved over custody, or for some reason you must be separated. Your life might be okay in many ways, but because of this profound difficulty, you might feel discontent.
That's the kind of discontent I'm talking about: the separation from something of pivotal value. Not a global discontent. I enjoy myself, have things to do, people to talk to, but the center has fallen out.
I am still working and struggling to make my life happen, the way I want it to be, without forsaking my sense of direction and meaning.
My challenge is patience, I suppose. And allowing life to unfolding, rather than hammering at it, as you mentioned.
Without going into particulars, I sense that these metaphors ( I guess I mean analogies, precisely, extended metaphors) do convey my meaning, as accurately as possible.
i guess we've gone beyond a reading of the specific hexagrams here. Thanks for your articulate and sensitive remarks! And for giving me the chance to express myself.

You mention: 23.6
That is a very intriguing line....

Hi loverofknowledge,

I love your analogy. I understand it intimately as well--that struggle and discontent.

you simply don't have the time, life has crowded out what matters so deeply to you.

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This hit me. In my last paragraph, I was trying to convey that feeling of entanglement with the roots. That sense of pulling at that grass to uncover something beneath it all. Your analogy of the discontent fits. What you're talking about losing, or losing touch with, is something vital, essential to your being. I also thought the word "center." I did mention living according to our true inner values. Living your art or being with your beloved fits that. What you're saying, though, is that you're stopped, as in 52. That's why 53.5>52 is such an important reading.

To align with your analogy, you will not forever be kept from your art, nor from your lover. You may be stilled for the time being, enough for you to learn the intelligent and wise ways of discontent. So take it as a teacher and sharpen up on the knowledge and wisdom discontent mirrors to you. Gradually develop (53) your stilling practice (52) to locate your center. 46 provides the impetus to push through your ignorance to the other side, where there's peace.

Let that discomfort speak to you. Symptoms can be life savers, just as dis-ease can be the cure. The quote above still hits me. Maybe this is what you must pull at. I can't help but think of the "sleeping sickness of the soul," a certain loss of zest for life. You still have a beautiful life that you live, yet feel a kind of low-grade headache or fever. Anyway...there's no right answer. Yi spoke. We're here trying to understand. Sometimes I wonder if Yi just means something simple like, get your hands in some dirt (11.1). Modern life is a drudge. Push through. Don't let what's most important get crowded out.

Man and woman meet (11). They get tangled up (11.1) The sperm starts pushing through the egg (46). 53.5:

Wilhelm/Baynes: The wild goose gradually draws near the summit. For three years the woman has no child. In the end nothing can hinder her. Good fortune.

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Your discontent will last for a time. Then, Good fortune!

Yes, 23.6 is one of my favorites. Allowing the inessential to strip away and the essential to make its way into the fertile soil of tomorrow. I like that there's a choice about which person you can be...

thisismybody:
Really nice thoughts! Very interesting and uplifting.