Hi,

I'd like to ask a big favour of anyone with the inclination. I've had great help from the Yi over the last year on a relationship issue.

I've posted here about it a few times, and, particularly after a thread on my getting 2 recurrently, had great advice.

The man I love has recently separated from his wife and we are very slowly, very tentatively making the beginnings of a relationship. We've crossed the Platonic line, but he still has much to sort out in the aftermath of his marriage and although I want to be there for him, and I believe he wants me around, he's not able obviously to enter into a full Relationship with a capital R.

My head is quite fuzzy at the moment and I think I've cast too many differing questions. To mark a line under them, I'd really be grateful if someone would cast for me on the issue of where the relationship is at, and where it's developing to?

Blessings
Wolverine.

Wolverine, I sympathize, and so I asked "where it is at for Wolverine's relationship", 51 to 35. Does this fit? "Where is Wolverine's relationship headed?" 7 to 52.

The 7 to 52 could be about his divorce procedings.

Hester, thanks very very much for taking the time to cast.

Yes, this does make sense, though I'm going to sit with this throughout the day (instead of getting into a flurry of other questions straight away as I'd got into the bad habit of doing).

51 to 35 for now is good. I like and would hope for 35 as an outcome or as the tendency of the shocks and am taking note of Lise's advice to go out with a quiver of arrows for small opportunities as well as big ones. Although change has been brewing for many months, the leaps forward have indeed been in the form of shocks over the past few months- and particularly in the last month. The separation came suddenly. I wasn't surprised it happened, but I was surprised at the speed and timing. Then my friend's next move was a shock- he came to where I was working away and spent some time with me there. There've been a couple of other shocks and sudden changes. As if change, when it came, long in the making as it had been, had to be quite sharp and traumatic to happen at all. Although the changes seem to have happened mostly in his life, the changing line 6 in 51 does reflect how it's easier for me to see the revolutions as being his, and to see how they affect him, but I've certainly experienced the shock of sudden changes too. It has helped awaken my consciousness of what I want. (to be with him in a trusting relationship).

As you say, perhaps 7 to 52 could reflect his progress to his divorce. Also, the sense of needing a move back towards stability and a firm base. At the moment he doesn't feel stable, and actually I've realised, neither do I.
7,2 seems to say that changes and progressions towards stability will happen naturally, although 7,3 suggests that extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures (but not to overdo it).
I'm reading 7,6 as positive for us being able to create stability together- as long as we stick with highest motives and the best parts of ourselves.


I think, being in the midst of 51, it can be hard to have real, visceral faith in the possibility of 52. But I do and look forward to it with hope. I feel like all sorts of parts of me are being awakened and reawakened at the moment- fears as well as hopes.

Thanks again Hester.

Could it be, as the person in charge, line 2, knowing what you want, a trusting relationship, line 6, the ground from which you make decisions. He may, on some level, look to you as a point of sanity, stabilizing. Does he even, in some way, look up to you? Not ignoring the problems in line 3, but I imagine you know well enough about them. Line three could refer to the corpse of his marriage, the difficulty of starting a new realtionship when he is still carting it, line 3 could be his own demons. Congratulations, by the way, on the opening you had a while back for your poems. That is a wonderful accomplishment, even though the formal event may have felt so alien to the intimacy you feel as a writer and poet.

love
Hester

Thanks very much for your time Hester and your empathy re. the writerly stuff.
Blessings
Wolverine

I will post more about the relationship as feedback at some point.

Currently we've hardly been in touch in the last week and the Yi is indicating I should standstill for now.

I think him having space makes lots of sense, though at some point I'll need some reassurance from him I think.

Where are we now I just asked-
33, 3, 5 to 35. Hmmm. Making sense.

More feedback here since I'm in the mood to update old threads
(see also "lots of 52").

The man in question at around the time I asked the Yi said there was no need for me to keep a distance (even though I'd stepped back because I felt he wasn't ready for a relationship).

He then said he was going to take some time and space for himself and went away for 2 weeks. He asked to meet me when he got back and told me he'd met someone else! I was shocked and sad, but also amazed at how well I handled the rejection (something I usually fear). I realised I was a whole person without him, and even in the face of rejection and if he chose not to be with me, then that was his choice on whatever basis he made it. He brought her to an event I was performing at a few weeks later, which seemed to be a blatant act of provocation (or something), but I chose not to react. I knew I still had feelings for him, but could see I didn't want to be with someone who could act with so little consideration and empathy.

I've now heard that she's chosen not to be with him and is pregnant. He's just asked me to meet up with him this week, allegedly to talk about work things. I imagine the timing is no coincidence, though his motives are hard to know.

I suppose the 7,3 line is much in evidence in what transpired...and 51. I've certainly been able to contact a greater sense of my inner stillness and selfness (52?) as a result of my reaction to what happened. As for the future, I don't know, but it's certainly interesting to look back and see what the Yi said at the time and I thought I'd share it.

I'm sorry to hear this - mostly sorry for him, actually. Thank you very much for sharing the update.

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'The great leader has a mandate
To found a state and receive the households.
Small people are of no use.'<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote>
<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>quote:</font>

"I realised I was a whole person without him... could see I didn't want to be with someone who could act with so little consideration and empathy."<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote>

Just my blabbidyblab opinion (So?), but it sounds like you've got the right approach to this, Wolverine. First, romance on the rebound has a whole lot of baggage to work through, no matter how 'together' they appear to be - a whole lot of 7ing to be done.

My advise? Be selfish when it comes to choosing a partner. You deserve to receive the same love and consideration from the one you give yours to. If you don't, then you deserve what you get. But it sounds like you're smarter than that.

Hi Wolverine:

Perhaps you can cast again when you feel more grounded and centered. I don't believe we can cast for anyone else.

It does seem like a situation where you may not have control of the outcome.

Take care of youself. I agree with everyone - you need to take care of yourself. Don't be the "transition woman" if you don't want to. It sounds like he has a hard time being alone - as you said the wife doesn't want to be with him and then he calls to work things out with you.

When someone is as confused as he is - they are not good people to rely on. In time that could change, but for now, he's got to figure out his marraige issues.

You also said he met someone else. I would not take it as rejection or anything about you. He is mixed up.

At least that's my take on it.

All the best,
Rosalie